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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> the inbetween times....
        
(Message started by: delilah on Oct 27^th, 2007, 10:56pm)

Title: the inbetween times....
Post by delilah on Oct 27^th, 2007, 10:56pm

HI, i am NOT new to this site...just new to posting.
I have a friend who suffers CHS. I am very new to this, but really wanting to be a good freind. My concerns are not so much about the episodes, but the depression, the lows, the hopelessness in between. Any inspiration on how to help them hang on in the middle would be appreciated. I can't even begin to imagine! but care deeply. I actually think he is scared to hope that things will ever get better and that makes total sense, but hurts me just as deeply as him. My heart breaks for all of you who have felt you lost your life and dreams because of this.

Title: Re: the inbetween times....
Post by Ree on Oct 27^th, 2007, 11:07pm

thanks for that... I wish I had some good advice to you right now I am feeling the hopelessness myself tonight. It is a depressing state of being especially if you are sleep deprived as my husband is. He is fighting with me constantly and treating me as if I can do nothing right. I can't and won't deal with a lunatic. My house is one terrible, sad place this week and I am at the end of my rope. My daughter won't even sleep here tonight.

FROM THE LAP OF DISFUNCTION (If you figure out anything good I am open for suggestions...)
Ree

Title: Re: the inbetween times....
Post by Annette on Oct 28^th, 2007, 9:41pm

Dont fight the fight alone if you feel that you are struggling too much. Go talk to your GP, see a psychologist, spill your guts here ...

Unfortunately there isnt a magic formula that works for all, the same goes for coping mechanism in between. We all have our ways of coping.

One day at a time, one minute at a time, count your blessings, reinforcing the belief that tomorrow will be a better day, talk to friends, know that there are people who understand and care deeply, know that you are not alone.

PM me any time you like, I am here for you.

HUGS and painfree wishes to you both.

Title: Re: the inbetween times....
Post by kayarr on Oct 29^th, 2007, 4:21pm

on 10/27/07 at 22:56:55, delilah wrote:

You sure have said a mouthful. The compiled burden of all of the psychological effects coupled with the pain of the "headaches" themselves is what makes this condition so consuming. (that is for lack of a better word right now)

All we as supporters can do is be a living example of unconditional love, hope and acceptance. We can encourage our sufferers to live their lives inspite of clusters. We can listen to them vent and know when to gently prode them to a higher level or just listen and understand. We can applaud them for all the hard work they do staying level while under seige.

I Love my husband. He just happens to have clusterheadaches. "For better or worse, right?"

Title: Re: the inbetween times....
Post by Maffumatt on Oct 29^th, 2007, 6:18pm

This might sound mean or callus, but it was told to me. It was the best advice I could have received at the time. Tell him to "piss or get off the pity pot." CH can get you down, every now and then you need a little kick in the pants to get you back up.
Matt

Title: Re: the inbetween times....
Post by deltadarlin on Oct 29^th, 2007, 6:30pm

Matt,
Those words are quite true and can pretty much fit any situation. If you can't enjoy the times that you're not it pain, won't make it through the times when you are in pain.

'darlin

Title: Re: the inbetween times....
Post by Angie on Oct 30^th, 2007, 8:41am

We are dealing with depression right now. It is very difficult time of year.

I have to remember not to feed the fire which is tough at times.

One day at a time, be there and be supportive. If it is too much, go out rethink than come home.

Angie

Title: Re: the inbetween times....
Post by Mosaicwench on Oct 31^st, 2007, 8:50pm

Matt made an excellent point about a tiny, loving, kick in the shorts.

Sometimes it is up to us supporters to remind our loved ones that pain free time in between is a gift, a solice, a respite, a reprieve, if you will.

It helps me to hope that the pain free "between times" may eventually get longer and longer until there is no "pain" time . . . .

Hope springs eternal.