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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Vibes & prayers for my supporter
        
(Message started by: sandie99 on Jul 27^th, 2007, 5:03am)

Title: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by sandie99 on Jul 27^th, 2007, 5:03am

Now when I live with my boyfriend Timo and the ch is back to torture me, the chances are that my best supporter will witness full-blown hits.

So far, he has seen me running to get Red Bull and ice and dealing with shadows. He has seen my mood slump thanks to hits. He has witnessed me getting worried about the possibility of turning chronic again and getting prepared for visiting friends and family.

I know that he has read a lot about ch since we met. I know that he comes here every now and then on his own. He has asked me a lot of questions about ch and how it affects my life. He says that he wants to share it all with me.

But he's about to witness it all "live". And it's going to be very different in comparison to the sunny, smiley, happy & optimistic Sanna he knows. So, of course, I worry and try to hide my pain and hits as much as I can (I've been doing that ever since my first hits back in 2001).

I can deal with this monster, I know what to do. It's his pain I worry more than my own right now...
So I hope that those of you who have vibes and prayers to send, will recall Timo.

Thank you in advance,
Sanna

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by DennisM1045 on Jul 27^th, 2007, 7:35am

Hi Sanna,

You both have my thoughts, prayers and vibes. It is tough for us to share our pain. CH is a very private thing. However we can't help the fact that it affects anyone who is very close to us.

Timo sounds like a very caring person who specifically cares a lot about you. You will eventually have to find out how well he can handle being around your CH and how well you can handle him being around your CH. Sometimes we have to take a risk. However the rewards of having a good supporter in our corner are worth it.

You have a kind heart and wonderful spirit. You deserve to have someone close in your corner. I wish you luck and many PF days and nights together.

-Dennis-

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by Jackie on Jul 27^th, 2007, 7:42am

It's going to be OK, Sanna....
I'm sure you and Timo have talked enough about this....he should do just fine. You all have a plan in place for the really rough times that may come....right?

We're always here if you need us, Sweetie. We're here for Timo too... :) :

Love to you....
Jackie

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by E-Double on Jul 27^th, 2007, 7:59am

it's all about [smiley=heart.gif]
He'll be fine as will you.
What you stated as your worry for his pain is exactly how i and many feel.
you are wonderful!!!!

E

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by Lotus on Jul 27^th, 2007, 6:12pm

Hi Sandie,

Ask and encourage Timo to join the Board and talk to us. Encourage him to talk to other supporters like Margi, Pat, Jackie or myself. He can do so privately via emails or PM if he wished. I found it was very helpful to be able to cry on Margis shoulders many many times in the past. ( Love you Margi )

Just as it feels great for a CHer to be able to meet and talk to other CHers, its wonderful for supporters to get the support they need from people who walk their paths, who fully understand.

Hugs to both of you.

Annette

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by barry_sword on Jul 27^th, 2007, 7:34pm

This is a test of love and Timo will pass with flying colors. Angie is the only person to witness my hits and she has accepted this and is my wife, best supporter, and best friend.

She has canceled stuff to be home with me and we told friends over and over "tonight is not a good night, maybe next week"

Barry

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by nani on Jul 27^th, 2007, 7:50pm

Naturally, I'm sending lots of prayers and vibes for both of you, honey.
Timo is a good and kind man, I'm sure he'll do fine. He also has excellent taste in women. ;)
lots of love, nani

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by sandie99 on Jul 30^th, 2007, 7:55am

Thank you all for the kind words you have written. :)

I've told Timo that he can find other supporters to talk to right here when he needs support from other supporters.

Lots of hugs to all,
Sanna

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by rolo65 on Jul 30^th, 2007, 10:21pm

Maybe some honest talk about how bad it may get will help prepare him for a trip into hell. I think of it being like the scene in the movie Dune where the dude has to put his hand into the pain box or get poisoned. The more he agonizes over it the harder it is for him to accept the fact that he has no choice but to insert the hand into that evil little box.

The silence of the lambs approach (just put the f**ken hand in the box) shows conditioning to the response. If you know what it will be like you’ll probably agonize about it less when the time comes and just act automatically.

Hugs and hope Sanna,

Roland. :-*

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by sldrswyfe on Jul 31^st, 2007, 10:44pm

Sanna,

I have great faith that you two will do fine...you may find to your great surprise, that he handles it much better that you're expecting.

My husband just was thrown into seeing me from the time we met...and he came to help me get a grip when I was starting to lose control (yelling, thrashing, etc.)...he'd say, "Stop it....center yourself" and for me personally, that helped me "get back to the middle".

You both have my vibes and prayers. Remember San, he loves you. My Very Best, Sherri

Title: Re: Vibes & prayers for my supporter
Post by cynjeep89 on Jul 31^st, 2007, 11:09pm

Sanna,

Tell Timo what he should and should not do when your CHs are back. Should he leave you alone and just be in another room if needed? Should he stay with you? Should he be ready to run and grab the Red Bull and ice when needed?

I think one of the biggest concerns that some supporters have is not knowing what to do when we are getting hit. They are afraid of doing something wrong that may exacerbate our pain. If they know before we go into cycle what will help, it can alleviate some of their anxieties and also help us to feel more comfortable sharing this part of our lives.

If you have to cancel plans with family and friends, then do it. They can always visit another time. You two need to take care of each other.

As much as I hate to say this, CHs are a part of our lives. I wish they weren't but they are.

Now that you are living together, you both have to accept the good, the bad and the ugly aspects of each other. It might not be pleasant but it's reality. When your partner sees you at your worst and still loves you, then you know the love is the real thing.

Tell Timo that we are here for the both of you. You are our family now and will do anything we can to help you both thru this.