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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Brother Cracking
        
(Message started by: Mames on Apr 3^rd, 2006, 1:15pm)

Title: Brother Cracking
Post by Mames on Apr 3^rd, 2006, 1:15pm

First of all-I've been lurking this wonderful site for sometime but now I’m gonna share. My brother has been a cluster headache sufferer for 12 years. They’ve been on again/off again but they’re bad enough that he’s on disability and has been for sometime. He seems to have been thru it all with care: Imnatrex, steroids, a headache clinic in Michigan, anti-depressants, etc., etc. and of course TONS of kinds of medication. He’s 34 lives at home with my depressed father and mom who just lost her job. And now I think all this world is falling in on him. The headaches have really robbed him of a lot but he’s also taken to crack cocaine in the past few years and I’m sure he’s abused lots of headache meds. Within the past year he’s turned suicidal and I hear it from him more and more. I tell him to hang on they’ll go away but I’m really starting to wonder if there is hope for him-if there’s something out there. It’s unbelievable.

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Linda_Howell on Apr 3^rd, 2006, 1:30pm

I'm going to try to word what I say here very carefully.

You say his HA's are on again/off again. That would indicate that he is an episodic sufferer which is quite common. There are people here who have been CHRONIC here, myself included for decades.

There is life within, around and throughout these headaches, there really is. I find it hard to imagine, if he is episodic why he would need to be on disability. People can and do live, work, raise families, etc. with these.

I hope, that you as his sister, aren't buying into his crack cocaine abuse, as an excuse for this. I have a brother whom I love to death and would do anything in the world for, so Hon...I understand you fears.

The best thing you can do for your brother right now is read everything you can on this site. Hundreds of hours were spent by knowedgable people in amassing this information and it will be invaluable I'm guessing to your brother.

Hang in there, you're doing a good job on his behalf.

Linda

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Mames on Apr 3^rd, 2006, 1:45pm

Thanks, Yes, I’m sure some people can function with these. My brother told me a couple days ago that he went to the ER with a headache, something he does fairly often, and the nurse said she’d never seen someone in so much pain from a headache-how you can gauge that I don’t know but you get the point.
I will read everything. I think my brother’s in a situation where’s he’s self-medicating a lot so I’m not even sure he’s had the best treatment! It’s pretty messed up.

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Linda_Howell on Apr 3^rd, 2006, 1:55pm

Quote:

the nurse said she’d never seen someone in so much pain from a headache-

I certainly believe she said that.
The rest of the world just does not understand this kind of pain. One reason a LOT of us absolutely HATE that this is called a "headache" What a understatement that word is.

Until he gets the proper treatment by a knowledgable Dr.......tell him to self-medicate with these: ;)

Ice or cold packs to the face and neck.
Coffee. Stronger the better.
breathing in cold air from an AC or fan.
Melatonin at night for nighttime hits (see links)

Now....... Go read my friend. ;;D

Linda

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Margi on Apr 5^th, 2006, 8:56am

Mames, I'm so sorry to read your post about your brother. First and foremost, it sounds like you need to do an intervention to get him off the crack. If he's been cracking for the 'last few years', he very may well be finding a way to cure his clusters. Permanently. And soon! Sorry to be so blunt, but you've got to help him get off that shit. It WILL take his life from him and those around him. Please call your local drug abuse folks and do it today! They know how to help you with an intervention and treatment programme.
Sorry, this is a hot button issue for me - we have a loved one who went down this road and very nearly lost her life because of it. Had we not intervened 2 years ago, she wouldn't be here. Seriously, deal with the crack first, ok? THEN we can help get him on the road to cluster relief.

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Mames on Apr 5^th, 2006, 4:39pm

Thanks Margi,
I'm heading to Virginia for two weeks Friday, 700 miles away, to get him going. He's really in bad, bad shape and I find myself preparing for the worst. It's really been unbelievable: My brother steals $3000 from my parents and they let him back in for probably like the 5th time and then the next week my mom is laid off her job, their only income other than the state. Plus my dad has parkinsons. So, it's all I can handle. The weird thing is that if my brother didn't have these headaches, I think they'd have thrown him out of the house years ago!

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Linda_Howell on Apr 5^th, 2006, 4:57pm

Good Girl.

Your Brothers addiction problem is far worse & more immediate than his CH problem. I admire you for what you're doing. Tough love girl. Tough love. Remember that. ;)

Linda

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Garys_Girl on Apr 5^th, 2006, 5:37pm

Mames, your brother is very, very lucky to have you as a sister! He may not know that now, and he may sure not feel that way in a few days, but he will know it!

It's a really, really long story, but my husband and I adopted a homeless teenage girl that was a heroin addict (we knew that when we adopted her). After detox(es), it turned out she's a "manic depressive bipolar paranoid schizophrenic." She was basically self-medicating with the heroin (which is an excellent beta blocker and was used to treat schizophrenia into the 60s).

She is now fighting her way back to some kind of "normal" existence in a long-term care facility, working with docs to get to the right "cocktail".

It took a LOT of tough decisions and a LOT of tough love on our part to get all of this to this place - because on heroin she was the sweetest, funniest person in the world, a girl with huge wonderful non-selfish "save the world" dreams: but off heroin she's barely capable of maintaining any kind of relationship with anyone. Of course, on heroin she was killing herself slowly and slept about 18 hours a day.

Anyway, the point is - your brother is suffering from a LOT more than CH. He is definitely self-medicating, and as many others have already pointed out (and you already know), he needs to treat some of his other problems before tackling the CH.

You may want to consider spending some time on-line to find an inpatient rehab facility near you. He may not be able to check in immediately (if it's anything like up here, you have to wait up to a month for bed availability). But when you head out to see your family, be armed with printed information about rehab facilities in the area. Maybe already have called them (if you have the time before you leave). Make sure you are armed with as much info about CH from this site as you can.

He needs rehab from the crack, but the underlying problem, certainly one of at least depression, needs to be addressed. So find a facility with good psyche docs. And if/when he checks in, make sure he goes armed with as much CH info as possible, so that can start to be managed concurrently with the other issues.

He's going to need a lot of support (as are you!), but at some point your parents have to say "no" to allowing him to continue living in their home under these circumstances. It was the hardest thing in the world to tell a formerly homeless person that she couldn't live in her new home - but unless she was going to continue with the treatment, not the addiction, she obviously didn't want to be part of this family..... It'll be the hardest thing in the world for them to think they're making they're "disabled" son homeless, but at some point you have to draw the line, and the affected person has to make a choice. And hopefully the family, with you as an apparent lynch pin, will help him realize there ARE choices, and he doesn't just have to become a homeless crack addict.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending lots of "stay strong" vibes your way.

Laurie

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Mames on Apr 5^th, 2006, 6:25pm

Thanks for the support but....I'm a man...not sure why you thought I was a woman but maybe I should take that as a compliment!

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Linda_Howell on Apr 5^th, 2006, 6:45pm

Lol

If you look to the left under my avatar you'll see that when I signed on I put my gender in as female. You chose not to.... so there is nothing there to distinguish what sex you are.

Also....I have found that women who have men in their lives who suffer from CH come onto this site to ask questions or vent, but the same is rarely true for women who suffer. Their mates never come here.

So I can understand why we all thought you were a woman. We apologize though.

Linda

Title: Re: Brother Cracking
Post by Garys_Girl on Apr 6^th, 2006, 10:50am

:-[ :-X Apologizing too. My mother always said "To assume makes an 'a**' out of 'u' and 'me'." Still holds true! Sorry about that! It's also still true that your brother is very lucky to have you as a brother.