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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> 101: SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
        
(Message started by: GI JOE on Mar 28^th, 2006, 2:20am)

Title: 101: SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by GI JOE on Mar 28^th, 2006, 2:20am

If you are a CHILD of a parent who suffers from Cluster headaches! ...YOU ARE A SUPPORTER! and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

There is nothing more REAL and FRIGHTENING than to see your parent in extreme pain, (You've seen them happy, laughing and blissful). CH sufferers are experiencing an unimaginable type of pain that requires the three C's. Although it may be a scary experience for you and you may feel helpless, there are a number of wonderful, imaginative, practical and relaxing things YOU can do for your parent, before, during and after an attack or cycle! These suggestions can keep you busy, informed and feeling less helpless! Not to mention how appreciative your parent will be!
Be Caring, Creative and Calming! the three C's (ccc) = LOVE ...Support naturally follows from that! Here are some basic supportive suggestions & guidelines that will help support your parent/s in the time to come!

BEFORE:
• Minimalizing Stress: Help plan and accomplish evening chores, dinner, or other "routines" that your parent might feel "stressed-out" about, (regardless of CH). (It is OK to take a little bit of the burden away from your parent and it will teach you about responsibility while feeling great about yourself!!)
• Outings/vacation: Plan an event with another sibling and your parent! Take a weekend or two out of the month and plan a day doing something different and special with your parent, (other than the usual soccer practice, band rehearsals ,etc..) Think of it as a means to get your parent from feeling like they're having to do "the same thing every week-end"! It's bad enough they call 'the demon' or 'monster' a routine for them, so it's great to be thinking of doing different things FOR THEM.

DURING AN ATTACK: This is a tricky time, because you may not know what pain level your parent might be at and communication will be difficult! Be patient and fearless with your parent!
• Ask them what pain level they're at, if possible! refer to the kip scale: 1-10 (Not only will you know, but it will give them a chance to share with you in a realistic manner and/or let you know what they may need).
• Give them SPACE, but make sure they're SAFE!!
• PROTECTING YOUR PARENT IN PUBLIC: STAND WITH THEM (surround them if possible). Guide them 'away' to whatever seems safe and private... A bathroom or just to the car, for example. Keep your parent away from loud noises and crowds during an attack. When in public, remember to remain CALM, CARING and CREATIVE. Be ready to explain to anyone that: your parent has a rare condition called Cluster-headaches, that they're not under any kind of influence and thank them for their concern. If they persist, ask them to bring you some water!
• Water, water, water!! (Not a gallon, though!!)
• Make coffee or just look around the corner..."there's got to be a Starbucks on the next corner". Coffee is a stimulant that gets the nerves and blood going (If you're NOT old enough, ASK someone for help!) ...(add a little cinnamon. Cinnamon is known to awaken the senses and cheer emotional distress!)

AFTER AN ATTACK: Your parent is exhausted and fatigued. It relaxation time!
• Learn how to give a basic message. The Neck (especially at the base of the skull/neck (On both sides of the spine are two great pressure points where the skull meets the neck), shoulders, temples and, believe it or not, the forehead.
• Scent: Essential Oils 101: The simplest, most relaxing scent, is Lavendar Oil (Lavandula augustifloia) (Organic Augustifolia is best). Lavendar is not only a relaxing and calming scent, but has 100's of other properties that are beneficial. Lavendar oil comes from a flowering shrub, so...
(CAUTION: CHECK WITH YOUR PARENT BEFORE USING!! SOME PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC TO SCENTS, SUCH AS ANYTHING THAT COMES FROM A FLOWER!!)
IF they approve, you can also message a drop of oil on the temples/forehead and is known to relieve "SOME" headaches, stress, anxiety and calms agitation! (Pure essential oils are highly concentrated and with the exception of some oils, like lavendar, can be diluted! Try diluting with some olive oil or other carrier base oil, if necsessary).
Put 2 drops on their pillow before they go to bed!! It works! (Dad's included)

• Make some Chamomile TEA just as they are getting ready for bed or especially after all that coffee!!! Add some honey or lemon if they choose!

MOST IMPORTANT: YOU ARE A SUPPOTER and YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Where ever you may be, and with what you are learning, remember the three C's...caring, creative and calming! With your strength and love, you can be a very postive force for your parent!
Supporter at Large!
- GI JOEY[b][/b]

Title: Re: 101 SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by mrs mac on Mar 28^th, 2006, 7:39pm

what a great post, will get my kids to read it!!!

well done

mrs mac xxxxx

Title: Re: 101 SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by Redd715 on Mar 28^th, 2006, 7:42pm

Linda has one terrific kid!

Great post Joey. I hope DJ will sticky this one.

(hint hint)

Pegg

Title: Re: 101 SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by Margi on Mar 29^th, 2006, 3:31pm

Thanks, Joey, for your post.

While I really can't endorse talking to your parent while they are having an attack, I'd really rather recommend to supporters that they talk with them when they're NOT getting hit and see what Mom or Dad need them to be doing during an attack.

Also, please be careful introducing any aromatherapy to a clusterhead. Many of these things can be a trigger for a clusterhead and, I'm sorry - I really hate to pick apart your post here, honest - but night time is the worst time for a clusterhead. I'm not so sure putting a drop of lavender on a pillow slip is such a great idea. I know we have to be REALLY careful with my hubby when he's in cycle - absolutely NO perfume, aromatherapy, nail polish, nail polish remover, pretty much ANYTHING scented....will set him off every time.

Post-attack massage, coffee, space, helping out around the house - all good though, Joey!

Here's something I wrote for kids a few years back as well on how to help their parents.

http://www.clusterheadaches.ca/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=101

Again, thanks for the contribution - I've stickied it as suggested.

Title: Re: 101: SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by GI JOEY on Mar 30^th, 2006, 2:00pm

Thank you Margi-
My mom mentioned to me to put a CAUTION up about the scent section. I know that most colognes, perfume, nail polish, etc..have a high synthetic 'chemical' content to them and that it's no wonder why people have an 'allergic reaction' to them. With CH sufferers, it's even more important to take caution.
Pure essential oils are not synthetic whatsoever, and although they may have their wonderful benefits, should still be cautious!
Thanks again, I appreciate the note!!
-GI JOEY

Title: Re: 101: SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by chewy on May 25^th, 2006, 10:07pm

In 6 years that is one of the best and most beneficial posts I have ever read on this board.

Nice job Bud! Nice job.

Title: Re: 101: SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by Jonny on May 26^th, 2006, 9:19pm

on 03/28/06 at 02:20:42, GI JOE wrote:

• PROTECTING YOUR PARENT IN PUBLIC: STAND WITH THEM (surround them if possible). Guide them 'away' to whatever seems safe and private... A bathroom or just to the car, for example. Keep your parent away from loud noises and crowds during an attack. When in public, remember to remain CALM, CARING and CREATIVE. Be ready to explain to anyone that: your parent has a rare condition called Cluster-headaches, that they're not under any kind of influence and thank them for their concern. If they persist, ask them to bring you some water!! (Thanks Mom!)

WOW! :o

Title: Re: 101: SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by Guiseppi on May 28^th, 2006, 10:41am

And yet another reminder of how much this damn thing affects our kids. Beautifully done, thanks.

Guiseppi

Title: Re: 101: SUPPORTIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR KIDS!
Post by Mosaicwench on Aug 11^th, 2007, 8:24pm

Excellent post Joey - Don't know how I missed it before this time.

My 15 year old son has found it helpful to point his very close friends to both Artonio's and Clusterchuck's videos of them getting hit.

Now those very good friends understand what my son lives with and most importantly WHY son's plans might change at the last minute. They also know what's happening should dad get hit when son's friends are with him.

I have to agree with the aromatherapy caveats mentioned here, as well as adding cinnamon to the coffee. While therapeutic, it might send my sufferer into another attack.

Great job of getting the kids involved and prepared to battle the beast who invades our lives!

Knowledge gives you power and the ability to meet whatever is thrown at you with confidence.