Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> I'am so worried
        
(Message started by: pops365-Son on Mar 14^th, 2006, 6:07pm)

Title: I'am so worried
Post by pops365-Son on Mar 14^th, 2006, 6:07pm

Just now my mother is downstaires and i can hear her crying this is actually tearing me to tears myself, i hate when my mothers in pain from a cluster.

How do you recommend like.... i dont know how to say it, but to feel less worried so to speak, as i'm completely helpless to make my mother clusters die down or just to help her through the pain?

(my mother is pops36 on the forum)

what do you recommed to take your mind of things?

Please write back soon
Worried Son
steven

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by nani on Mar 14^th, 2006, 6:13pm

Hi Steven. Sometime, when your Mom isn't hurting, ask her what she'd like for you to do when she's having an attack. I have a 12 and a 10 year old at home right now. Both have watched (and heard) me long enough to know that even though it's "ugly", I'll be allright. They will ask if I need my icepack and then they will leave me alone. Maybe you can shut your door and turn up your music? Or watch TV? I know this is hard on you, honey. But really, she'll be allright. hugs and love to you, nani

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by pops365-Son on Mar 14^th, 2006, 6:22pm

Righto I'll give it ago, but i think we're going back to hospital :(

I'll keep you lot informed about how she is, and i'll try the ice pack thing. (just need to get one)

Had to phone NHS24 (the health services call line) and then they decide what happens >:(

Speak soonxx

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by nani on Mar 14^th, 2006, 6:27pm

Steven, has your Mum contacted OUCH-UK? There's a helpline that you can call. Here is the link to the Support board over there.
http://www.clusterheadaches.org.uk/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl

Perhaps you could ring them before you go to the hospital? They can be quite helpful. I'm not really sure that the hospital can. :-/
hugs, nani

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by Ree on Mar 14^th, 2006, 6:34pm

Hey Buddy... You are such a wonderful son... I too have 2 wonderful sons and when I saw your post I thought of them and how they felt when they had to watch my husband Dave go through the same pain. I think you have to first be sure she is ok... ask if she needs anything and then let the CH attack take its course. You can make her tea... you can get her ice packs and you can pray for a cure. There really isn't a lot for us to do as supporters. Sufferers some times don't really want help and feel more helpless knowing they can't console us too. You are a great kid know that, just in writing here. Keep coming or email us privately and be well..... love to your family... Ree

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by pops365-Son on Mar 14^th, 2006, 7:05pm

Thank you ree, and i know the hospital dont do so much, but at least i know they have all the drugs she could ever need.

I just feel so helpless and when i hear my mum in the amount of pain, (i've never heard it this bad) it pretty much almost gets me into tears knowing she has to go through all this pain.

I wish i could be going to hospital with her, but my dad wont allow me to go :(

Can someone point me in the direction of the "what not to say when a ch attack is in full force" Or somthing to that effect. I just want to know what i can do, i know there isnt a lot but. If i get a better understanding of what she is going through then maybe i'll not be as worried as i am just now, i've never heard my mum in this amount of pain. And she can take a lot of pain, i mean she gave birth to me with no drugs or anything. (lol) But i'm seriously worried sick.

how long does the avarage cycle last (shes roughly in week 3 just now)?

thank you lot for your support.

Steven x

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by nani on Mar 14^th, 2006, 11:50pm

Steven, I'm going to give you some links to help you get some answers. I imagine that it's very hard for you to have to witness your Mum suffering. This first link will tell you all about CH. Scroll down on the page for additional links.
http://www.ouch-us.org/chinfo1.htm

This next link will give you info on the OUCH-US Family Services Team. There are wonderful people on that team, feel free to drop them an email if you need anything, OK? They are anxious to help in any way they can.
http://www.ouch-us.org/familysvs/familysvs1.shtml

Take care, sweetie. Be sure not to put your life on hold because of this. Neither should your Mum. We're here when you need us.
hugs, nani

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by fireball on Mar 15^th, 2006, 12:28pm

Hi Steven,
You should be so proud to have such a caring heart.
The hardest part of being a supporter is being so helpless. When we love someone, we only want to help. We don't want to see our loved ones suffering.

The advice in the previous responses are perfect. Read the information on the sites that Nani provided. And definitely talk to your mom, when she is pain free, about what she would like. That way, if you have a plan in place, you will know in your heart that you are doing exactly what she wants you to do during an attack.

Thank you for caring about your mom. She is very blessed to have you.

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by mrs mac on Mar 16^th, 2006, 10:49pm

hi Steven, i am so sorry your mum is getting hit so hard just now!!!

honey, my hubby is the sufferer and i know just how you feel!!! i also feel completely helpless when his pain is really bad, there is not a lot that us supporters can do i'm afraid, but i'm sure your mum is proud of you for caring about her so much!!

please try and phone the OUCH UK helpline the people who man it are truly amazing and they can give you advice on what to when your mum is really bad

also please remember that we are all here for you when ever you need us

i do hope your mum gets some pain free time soon

i am sorry i wasn't much help to you, but i am always around if you need to ask any more questions

tc honey
sandra xxx

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by Linda_Howell on Mar 17^th, 2006, 3:17pm

Steven,

You do not have to worry yourself sick over this.

As bad as it seems to you and as much as you know your Mom is in pain...it will pass. Please DO contact us at Family Services and we will do everything we can to help you and HER get through this. In the meantime ask her when she's NOT in pain to ask her Dr. for oxygen. Pure oxygen in a tank that she can use at home. Sometimes when I am out of the 02 like on a week-end.....I sit in front of a fan and breathe deeply and it helps a little.

You're not alone in this Steven.

http://www.ouch-us.org/familysvs/familysvs1.shtml

Linda Howell

Title: Re: I'am so worried
Post by blood_Redd_son on Mar 17^th, 2006, 8:14pm

Hi steven, i'm Dylan.
I'm fifteen, and am here as a supporter of my mom, Redd715.

I've seen my first hit about 2 years ago, and, honestly, i was freaking out for like, the whole time, because i didn't know what was going on. one time during the summer, my mom got hit with three K9's back to back, and me and my sis were really frightened. After the third one, she passed out. It was really scary, because i thought she killed herself for a few seconds.

some of the things i do to help me cope is to tell myself that it will be over soon, and my mom will be ok. It's never easy to convince yourself when you start seeing it happen, especially when it's a high hit.
whenever she gets hit, i grab an ice pak or a bag of frozen vegies, and place them where she wants me to or just hand them to her.

It's alright that you feel this way, it's normal.
it's not easy to see anyone getting hit. I still feel like there is nothing i can do. The best thing i can say is the same thing everyone has been saying so far: ask your mom what she wants you to do during an attack, then you'll both be ready when another beast hits.

Vibes to you and your mom. [smiley=hug.gif]

and if you ever need to talk to me, here's my email:

black_heaven345@yahoo.com