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Title: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by lizzzz on Aug 3rd, 2005, 10:58am Hi everyone. I hesitate to talk about this subject but I need to talk to someone. I started dating my husband when I was 16. As far as I know the headaches had their first cycle 2 years later. He was an unfaithful young cluster head and I left to live in London for 3 1/2 years. While I was there I saw a television special on Cluster headaches. It said that there is a high rate of suicide associated with these headaches for obvious reasons. Now we have been married 11 years and have two wonderful daughters. During this time I have found out that his maternal grandmother had schizophrenia (can't spell) and had killed herself when he was a boy. His family didn't bring it up and he had forgotten it if he ever knew it. Then last year his mother was suffering with emphazema (sp?) and killed herself. He found her. Now he is having his first cycle in two years and I am terrified that this may seem like an option to him. He is telling me to up his life insurance and scaring me sh**less. He has never had them for more than 8 weeks so I'm trying to hold on |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by lionsound on Aug 3rd, 2005, 11:24am Lizz, Get him some help!!!!I don't know how you can, but you must try He needs to speak with a professional ..a counselor..a shrink...I know because I've been seriously suicidal. He may not like it, but it's time.. He needs someone to talk to. Bring him to this website he will see that he is not alone in his pain and that there are choices and ways to feel better. Does he see a neurologist? What does he use for medication if any? If he's getting the help he needs you'll feel a little better too. And you're not alone either...lots of support for supporters here..you have the toughest job and I thank you for doing a super job and coming here for help. CH is awful, but what you have to say or vent or cry about it is not. We don't mind listening....anytime. [smiley=hug.gif] please remember to take care of yourself too. be well, lionsound |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by Margi on Aug 3rd, 2005, 11:56am Liz, I absolutely agree with every word Lionsound has just said to you!! You BOTH need to talk about this. And quickly. Face him down with it, too - ask him point blank if he is considering suicide. TELL him he's scaring the shit out of you! Don't threaten him, or tell him that you're going to "turn him in", just tell him how this suspicion is making you feel. Trust me on this, I've walked in your shoes and had a few scares over the years. I've talked directly to Mike and told him I was scared. I laid out what options are available to him and, for him (everyone is different though), just hearing that I was scared was enough for him to come back to reality and realize what devastation suicide causes. He's promised me he will never do that to me. Maybe your hubby needs to know that YOU are seeing signs that maybe he isn't. Talk to your doctor, talk to his doctor - call 911, but TALK, Liz. And please keep talking here, too - we all know exactly what you're both going through. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem (even though it doesn't seem like a temporary problem at the time a sufferer is getting hit!). Get him into a better doctor who knows cluster, get him on a treatment program that will abort his attacks and give him relief. Whatever you do, do SOMETHING and do it today. I once phoned our neuro and told them that if Mike wasn't seen that afternoon that I was worried about suicide. That caught their attention and they did see him very quickly. This is one of the very few areas where a supporter CAN actually do something - become vocal, Liz. We're right here to coach you if you need anything, ok? Hang in there, lady. Big hugs, Margi |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by lizzzz on Aug 3rd, 2005, 12:00pm thanks lionsound. He is on prednisone which makes him agitated and mean. But may be it will help. Also takes imitrex inhalant. I will call the nerologist. thanks again |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by lizzzz on Aug 3rd, 2005, 12:02pm Thanks Margi, His nero is ancient. Maybe a new doc would have new ideas. Thanks Lizzzzz |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by Margi on Aug 3rd, 2005, 12:32pm oh absolutely the pred is making him miserable!! It's nasty shit! He should only be on a short taper of it, it's NOT a long-term med for cluster at ALL! He should taper up to, what, 60 mgs, then down by 5 mgs a day until he's off it. Mike did a 17 day taper of it and, let me tell you - NEVER again! Get him a prescription for oxygen!! Scream the neuro's office down until they give you one. Even if you have to chain yourself to the guy's leg until he writes a script for you! Sharpen your teeth, honey. It MUST be delivered, as well, through a non-rebreather mask and through a regulator that goes higher than 8 litres per minute. Anything less won't work, and those nose cannule thingies are just a real good way to piss off a clusterhead. Print out the oxygen info in the button to the left, here and take it to your doc. Even a GP should be able to do this for you if you don't like the neuro!! Best of luck and keep us posted, ok? hugs, Marg |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by Ree on Aug 3rd, 2005, 4:23pm Margi you are wonderful.... I just wanted to say that... everything you said is right on.... nothing more I can add ... Good luck to you Lizzzzz! Get help!!!! Love to you Ree |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by Kim Y. on Aug 4th, 2005, 6:58am Lizz I think he is sending out signs. Watch closely. And do get him some help. I agree with lionsound about the web site. It did wonders for me to know that I wasn't alone. Praying for you and your family...[smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 8th, 2005, 6:46am Lizz, There is nothing that I can add to these lady's advice, I haven't been there, But I agree do anything that you have to to get him on the right meds.. & mostly get him here on the site to meet & talk to people so he knows he's not alone out there fighting.. I found that my husband has change alot with the info & people on this site, has made a big differant in our lifes !! Lots of Love & Prayers to You & yours !! Lots Of Love Jolene |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by concerned on Aug 11th, 2005, 7:45am Lizz GET HELP take the advice given it is good stuff let him know you are there i did and it has helped. Only someone who has gone through this can relate. Belive me i can relate Mike is now 54 and been suffering since he was about 18 it seems to get worse every year. They need to know that we are there and we try to understand however we can not truely understand. listen to Margi she has good advice and has been there. hold the faith and camp out in the docs office if necessary. Use what ever means necessary to let him know that you are there and you want to help. May sound crazy but take him to church maybe this will help. stick by him Stay here the people here are the GREATEST and they do understand. Good luck to you Wishing him painfree days and nights |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by jcmquix on Aug 11th, 2005, 9:23am on 08/11/05 at 07:45:50, concerned wrote:
I agree with you on this, but BEWARE... We attend a rather large Church... I am even the Sound Man.. for the Church... just watch out for some people in the Church. I am not saying this in a bad way, but some people were telling Me & My Wife (Sassy_Lady): "We will Pray for You and we want you to go home and throw out all those meds"... I told them all that, I believe in God 100%, I know Bad things happen to Good people and Good things happen to Bad people.. But God put those Dr's and those Med's here for a reason.. To help us... I still Pray everyday that God would take this from me, but I also know He has a reason for everything that Happens, I did not do something Wrong.....I serve God at every chance I can. I don't like what I have (CH), but believe it or not, there are alot worse things out there that I could have.... that I don't... So you just gotta put up Your Fists, Hang Tough & Fight the Good Fight... I really hope this helped, I just wanted to encourage you not to give up, do not let the BEAST win.... PFDAN's to You !!! Charlie |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by minnie on Sep 14th, 2005, 2:11pm Lizzzz, Please give us an update on how you and your husband are doing.Did you get a prescription for oxygen?Prayng he found something to break the cycle and that your doing ok. Minnie |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by lizzzz on Sep 14th, 2005, 4:59pm Hi Ladies (and Gentlemen), We are on 10 weeks now. Finally got 10 - 15 liters of o2 after much red tape. It is helping. Imitrex stopped working and he now takes migranal. We are hanging in there thanks to you guys and your support and advice. lol Lizzzz |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by E-Double on Sep 14th, 2005, 5:16pm How's the DHE workling? |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by lizzzz on Oct 21st, 2005, 5:05pm Sorry to be dense. What is DHE? Any way the beast left the way he came and I don't think any thing the Dr.s did had any effect. But thank God this turn is over. Thank you all for getting me through and good luck to you all that are wondering if you ever will get through it. God bless the cronic suffers. I can't imagine...... love to all Lizzzzz |
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Title: Re: Don't read. To awful to contemplate! Post by Woobie on Nov 2nd, 2005, 9:34am hi Lizzzzzzzzzz Did you bring him to this site, now that its over? Maybe he can read up on the new stuff and have his battle plan ready for the next time. This site is amazing....... the people, the info - the friendships developed here..... Glad it's over, and you guys made it! Feel free to stick around.......... tina :-* |
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