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Title: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 13th, 2003, 5:57pm what happens when your supporter needs support? and why arent sufferers that suck the life out of us good supporters... just a ??????????? for all of you... I have had the life sucked out of me, been the mother father sister and daughter in law............... the shopper the bill payer etc etc for going on 12 weeks... I know the suffers will say wahhhhhhh when I say I have had a MIGRAINE FOR 3 DAYS with no support. PAIN not like an icepick but pain that drains the life out of someone and causes a defect in my sight. Do you sufferers think that just because you suffer intense pain for several attacks a day... or have a more severe pain you dont have to be understanding of someone elses pain no matter what it is??? I need to know this... why is there always some fucken competition on whose pain is worse going on with the headache sufferers in the world... sure your pain is intense... mine sucks too.. Now you can do as I did and take what you need here and leave the rest... Only the sufferers that also get MIgraine have been at all sympathetic to me... but the rest of you please get over yourself. ree |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by OneEyeBlind on Sep 13th, 2003, 11:25pm Ree, I think perhaps you have had too much on your plate lately. I remember the days when I came to the board and you had nothing but nice things to say. The turtle was a really nice guy that no one wanted to make soup of !!!!!!! Sorry to say but that ain't you anymore. I understand that, going through the stress I am. Perhaps a break would do you good ??? I realize that migraines suck ........... they suck the life out of ya cause they don't go away. It's kind of like an absessed tooth. It just don't go away especially when you have no dental insurance and can't get it fixed !!!!!!! Me comparing an absessed tooth to a migraine is like you comparing a cluster to a migraine. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. The pain is different. The stuff ya gotta deal with is different. The level of pain is different, the frequency of occurance is different and the time it takes to pass is different. You are trying to compare BREAST CANCER to LUKEMIA !!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea, they are both cancers ........... but give me a break. |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by ClusterChuck on Sep 14th, 2003, 3:02am Ree, love, you have been an excellent supporter both here, and I am sure, to your hubby. I don't suffer migraines, but I know that headaches SUCK, whatever type they are! I feel bad you are having all this thrown on you at this time. You have sent many PF vibes out, well I am sending MEGA PF VIBES to YOU right now. Hang in there girl! Chuck |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by minnie on Sep 14th, 2003, 9:41am Ree, I'm sorry your going through such a hard time :'(.Pain is pain and it really makes it hard to concentrait on all the everyday things that need to be done.I know how bad migraines can be I support Billy through his and he supports me through mine.I must say I am very lucky I am the one always telling Billy that my pain doesn't begin to compare to ch . He reminds me that its awful to suffer and it doesn't matter what causes it. I'm not trying to be wise but have you talked with Dave about what you need him to do for you when your down with a migraine? Thats one of the first things we tell a new supporter about dealing with their cluster head.Migaines and clusters need to be dealt with in such different ways maybe he honestly doesn't know how to help and how much to help.If you need to thats the place to start I'm sorry thats about the only advice I can think of now.E-mail me if you need to vent more I really try to be a great listener.most of all take care of yourself!!! Let Dave and the rest of the family know that when your in that much pain they will have to help you and take care of each other .You need to recharge you batteries so you can have the strength to be one of the greatest supporters I know.Maybe if they try do do everything you do they will relize you need help and support too. One more thing please remember that everyone is different.for every one cluster sufferer who makes a misreable supporter theres 5 who are exelent supporters.(we'll just have to train those that don't quite get it ;) )Some clusterheads only have those of us at the CHMB for support.Lucky for them they found a family thats cares and know what they go through. Hope things start to get better damn migraines >:( pfdan Minnie |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Miss_Deleny on Sep 14th, 2003, 10:20am I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time Ree. I don't know how a CH feels but I damn sure know how a migraine feels! And yes, it can be very painful! To me it doesn't matter what type of HA you have, pain is still pain! I feel lucky that Christopher is as much a supporter to me as I am to him. I think that all CH suffers should try and support their supporter when they can .. we supporters do have our days when we need supporting too. Wishing you PFDaN's Ree, ~April~ |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by BillyJ. on Sep 14th, 2003, 11:18am Ree, Pain Sucks.Type and cause don't matter.Just because one is more more intense that does not make the other any less.The people who laugh about migraines obviously have never had one.They need to take the advice they give and get over themselves. You need to find a doc who, a- is knowlegable about headaches b-will treat your migraines as the serious condition that they are.Please look here- http://www.achenet.org/physicians/ I have not found a migraines message board that is anything but BS and sympathy.Like clusters you need to be proactive in your own treatment.There are many migraine meds,but you need to keep trying til you find the right ones for you. I would be glad to talk to you about migraine meds and maybe help you find what works for you.Migraines CAN be controlled if not prevented.To suffer for days because you don't have the right meds is sad indeed. Feel free to e-mail me if you would like advice and suggestions on migraines(no home remeddies I promise! LOL) For now,Pain free wishes and a big cyber hug to you, Billy |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by jonny on Sep 14th, 2003, 1:58pm Ree, You know I love you. Got CH?......No?......STFU!!!! .......................................jonny |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by cathy on Sep 14th, 2003, 2:25pm Ree.....what can I say...your having a bad time....hope things improve for you... Nancy....your in my prayers...along with your family Cathy |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by BobG on Sep 14th, 2003, 3:11pm Ree....... So sorry to hear you're hurting :( and pray the damn pain goes away and stays away. That would be kool. ;) I don't have migraines and won't compare them to my headaches but I know pain is pain and we all need support from time to time. Please stay strong. Your support here is invaluable but please take a break if you need to. We'll wait. Pain hurts! Pain sucks! |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 14th, 2003, 6:27pm I never compared my pain Nancy read my post again... I only asked for understanding... ree |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by suzy617 on Sep 15th, 2003, 4:16am Ree, I feel for all people's pain. I dont just sympathize with other CH'ers. I am always a supporter to friends who suffer in any form. I have also walked in your shoes and have had to be mother, father, daughter, etc. when I felt my family had no understanding as to what I was going thru. That is where my friends come in. Thank God for friends... I hope you find some peace and pf days in your life soon. Hang in there. Hugs to you, Suzy |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Darleen on Sep 15th, 2003, 7:39am Ree, So sorry to hear all the shit you are goin through. You certainly do deserve a break but that is always one of the problems with being a supporter (and in your case a sufferer of migraines) is that we don't seem to get a break. Many PF vibes going out to you and to Dave as well so that I hope this frustrating and painful time will pass soon. D :-* :) |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Elaine on Sep 15th, 2003, 8:39am Ree I have both Clusters and Migrains and I can compare them. You know what! I want to die when I get either of them. The pain in clusters is bad, but I know it will stop in a hour or so. I walk and I cry and I rock, but I know in a hour or so I can go on with life till the next one. I can't think for that hour. If you yelled fire I could run, maybe into the fire but I could run LOL! I tell you what when I get a migrain, I can't raise my head, I puck my head off, and I can't see or think. I am just there if you yelled fire I would still be in that bed. I couldn't get up. I know it can last as long as a week. I can't do anything. When I get one I know I am down a week. Sometimes imitrex doesn't always work on it! To me they both suck they both hurt like hell. They both caan be disabling and effect our life. If people don't think we Migrainers haven't felt like caving in then they are wrong. I don't want either one of them. I understand your pain and how you must feel. I will back ya any way I can. Pain is pain. Cancer is cancer BREAST CANCER to LUKEMIA! They both kill! I lost a good friend that had Lukemia. All Cancer sucks and all cancer treatment sucks. Some people live some die. It don't matter what kind of cancer you have it can take you out! In my book Cancer is Cancer and once you have it you live with it the rest of your life! Just like Migrains and Clusters they are ours for life! |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Mastifflvr28 on Sep 15th, 2003, 8:50am I think since I got ch's I've become even MORE sympathetic to any kind of head pain. And I think Ree is a special case here. She's not like some newbie coming off the street saying "I have migraines"...THOSE don't belong here. But Ree has spent several years here supporting US. I think she deserves a little support herself. A little "payback". She's put in her time. Time for us to "give" to her. Nana Ree Ree, I hope you start feeling better and I'm sending up PF vibes to ya. For other "migrainers" who dare not post here, hsg has an "all headaches" forum that you can post in, and be comfortable, and help each other. http://www.headachesupportgroups.com and click on the forums link at the top. Love all ya supporters, Mast |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by TxBasslady on Sep 15th, 2003, 10:59am Even though I am new, I can understand what Ree is saying and where she is coming from. My hubby has been a great supporter for me, and it is very unfair for us not to think about what they feel. He never leaves my side during an attack and tells me every night before bed to make sure that I wake him in the event of an attack. He has no ch or migraines, but I have seen the pain in his face when I go through this. I feel guilty alot, cause he gives up his sleep and takes all this time with me. I have only gone through 1 visit from the "beast" without him, and I was scared to death. I need him....and it makes me feel so loved that he sacrifices so much for me. We are selfish...by nature. But it doesn't give us the right to think that we are the only ones here that suffer. CH takes a toll on ALL involved......... We need to love these supporters......I for 1 could not make it through this without them. Much love and pf vibes to ya, Ree Jean |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by cathy on Sep 15th, 2003, 12:18pm on 09/15/03 at 08:50:58, Mastifflvr28 wrote:
Obviously a lot of these replies are to Nancy, but you know there are alot of us here who are having a bad time and it's not always cluster related....we don't take it out on each other thats not what it's all about, if you got something to say just say it, lets not beat about the bush!!!! Cathy...also having a hard time... |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Mastifflvr28 on Sep 15th, 2003, 12:27pm Cathy, I have NO idea what you are saying. I wasn't posting to Nancy, I was posting to Ree. I suggest you go read the archives from a couple of years ago...look for ONE migrainer to step foot on this board...talk about scary. Quote:
I don't know what you are saying...what does this mean? I'm not even sure how to respond to you because I don't know what you are saying, but obviously something I posted (which was all support for Ree) pissed you off. So...can you clarify? Mast |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 15th, 2003, 12:36pm Thanks for the replies... I totally appreciate it... I love you all~~~ you are so special to my family. Ree |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 15th, 2003, 1:03pm Obviously Nancy has a right to her opinion...I have emailed Nancy about her comments. I have been nothing but supportive to Nancy. The only thing that bothered me about what Nancy said was that I used to be nice and I'm not now...and that I could possibly use a break. Since when has anyone here been elected to tell anyone to take a break Cathy please dont turn this into a fighting fest. When I dont like a thread I dont post in it. If you dont like something you can take what you need and leave the rest. No one knows better than me that this is a Cluster site I never compared CH pain to Migraine pain she misread what I said and took off with it... I also came looking for support and got none from her... just ridicule. No one was talking to Nancy, those were my friends talking to me, several of them have both Cluster and Migraine. This is a Supporter board, I have to feel as the rest of you that I have a place to go to and vent. This is my place too. I'm sorry that Nancy doesnt think I am sweet and nice and angelic... as she put it give me a break even the nicest of people have a bad day. Ree |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by OneEyeBlind on Sep 15th, 2003, 3:42pm Ree, I had a headache when I posted my response. Sorry about that. I was less than tolerant due to my personal circumstances and pain. I will try and stay off the board when in pain, as this sometimes makes me less than sympathetic. I was however trying to be nice when I suggested you take a break and re-group. We all need that now and then. If you don't feel that I have the right to say that after all the support I have given to the board, just email me ... and whenever you post I will be sure to keep my mouth shut. I have noticed that you don't post to anything I post, so I beleive returning the favor would only be fair. Now let's not make this a fight fest. If you need to talk this over more, let's keep it offline and to email as you initially suggested. |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by jonny on Sep 15th, 2003, 4:13pm Shut up all of youse.....LOL Ree, is it 49 or 48 days now? .............................jonny |
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Title: SUPPORTERS Post by rumplestiltskin on Sep 15th, 2003, 11:20pm Maybe I was meant to stumble upon this thread. I believe this is the SUPPORTERS forum. As a CHer I rarely post here, even though Margi gave me the OK when it began. I then married a CHer...making me both sufferer and supporter. So much for my credentials. If I ever feel the need to vent, rant and rage about my role as a SUPPORTER and against that headache girl I live with...this is where I will come...the SUPPORTERS forum. My feeling of safety in doing that comes from DJ and Margi's efforts. I would then expect my fellow SUPPORTERS to reply...or not. SUPPORTERS need to have this safe place to do that. ...soo I guess what I'm driving at...is...let the supporters work things out for themselves on this forum...if yer a sufferer and don't like what you see here...too fucking bad...who asked ya? Go babble on the "general" forum. Have some respect. Give SUPPORTERS their space. Good Grief den (and G says she agrees) PS: Margi would probably "moderated" the "lack of support" away...she is missed. |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 15th, 2003, 11:30pm thanks and lets end it........... ok cool... ::) |
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Title: Re: SUPPORTERS Post by cathy on Sep 16th, 2003, 1:20am on 09/15/03 at 23:20:32, rumplestiltskin wrote:
Excuse MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE but ......WHERE is this LACK of support...as far as I can see everybody has supported Ree, I may not have agreed with what one person posted or maybe it was the way she posted or maybe it's just me, but whatever, all I see is support.... Cathy |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Margi on Sep 16th, 2003, 10:35am Eating some crow here, but....I'm back. This whole thread of Ree's was the deciding factor for me. Ree, honey - I'm sorry you've been hurting and I'm GLAD that you posted about it. This IS the Supporter's haven here and I'll be DAMNED if it becomes anything else. And, no - you do NOT have the STFU if you want to talk about your migraines here. Everyone....please play nice. Cathy, you ok? |
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Title: :) Post by rumplestiltskin on Sep 16th, 2003, 10:46am bingo |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 16th, 2003, 10:59am ok can we just forget it... Im glad I got you back her Margi but I didnt want to start a problem. Nancy made it quite clear to me last night she has other issues with me and thinks I have neglected her in some way. I have no idea what that is about. Im sure out of the 4000 people here I have neglected quite a few and not on purpose. If I havent posted to a thread it is because maybe I feel like I would be redundant to answer in the same way... I have also been gone half of July... part of Aug and Sept and have also been hit with my head problems sorry if I missed something in someones life and I wasnt supportive. I dont think she has been neglected in support her last post tallied up about 4-5 pages of support. I tried to appologize I wont beg. I just dont get it. Annnnnnnnnnnd this is what the post was about in the first place... Where do I have to go when I need support. I know who my friends are and who arent thanks for the show of hands... love to you and those for whom you support...((( thanks den and margi))) I am probably in deeper now but so what. I am not arguing on this board anymore... ree |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Margi on Sep 16th, 2003, 11:03am No, Ree, you're not 'in deeper'. This forum is a safe haven for supporters. The post-cycle time for clusterheads is often the hardest on supporters and something we don't often talk about. It's one of those 'walking on eggshells' topics that we often just keep to ourselves. As you and I said in email yesterday, it's a very frustrating time and I think a lot of our pent-up worries and angers come out, when the cycle has ended. WE supporters intimately understand, Ree. Are we clear on that? You vent all you want, darlin. There's an army behind you that isn't afraid to fend off anyone who tries to criticize you for reaching out. |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 16th, 2003, 11:22am You are missed here more than you could possibly know Margi... thanks love Ree |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by OneEyeBlind on Sep 16th, 2003, 7:14pm Ok well, hoping this gets across what I want. Den, you are right, I don't belong here. This is the supporter's corner. I have no right here. After all, I have never supported a CH sufferer. Not directly, not sleeping with them. Nope I don't belong here. Let's all stay where we belong. Ree, I appoligized to you publicly. I gave you my home phone number to call me. You chose not to talk to me in person. What more do you want. Blood ????? Check the blood bank. I just donated. I have no more to give. If you think I have a problem with you, that is your problem, not mine. And, as far as the four page thread and me getting support ........ my sister and her son will appreciate it. I'm taking the good things from this board, printing them off, and using them to float my boat. A great big thank you to everyone who will float Chris's boat by reading your posts !!!! Margi, you can be DAMNED all you want. I don't belong here and that has been made more than clear. Even when I posted a really nice support thread here I was shunned. So off I go, tail wagging between my legs, to offer support to those that need and are ready to accept it. But hey, I can do that on the regular board cause I suffer from CH's !!!!!!!! Ain't life grand? |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Ree on Sep 16th, 2003, 8:00pm Case closed! |
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Title: Re: Support for a Supporter... Post by Margi on Sep 17th, 2003, 2:07pm Nancy, there are no restrictions as to who posts where at ch.com. We do try to keep subjects in their particular areas just for ease of navigation, if nothing else, but everyone is welcome to post in any category. The problems we discuss here in the supporters' forums are different from those in the general section, and often ARE problems to which only other supporters can relate. I believe THAT may have been Den's point and probably a big reason why there has been a natural segregation - but, hear me on this, Nancy: it's a free public forum. NO one is banning ANYONE from posting ANYWHERE. However, abuse will NEVER be tolerated and your original post was understood by many to be just that, directed at Ree. I don't think it was, as you say, a 'really nice support thread' at all. By the responses you got, I see I'm not alone in that perception. Your subsequent posts did little to rectify the situation and continued to insult Ree. There's no need of that. As well, Jonny's comment of 'got CH? no? STFU' was uncalled for in this forum, as many of the supporters here do have migraines and that really CAN be a huge deal when trying to cope with a cluster attacked spouse. However, I must tell you that I'm personally amazed that you CAN post when you've got a headache, most clusterheads cannot. Anyways, that's an entirely different subject and not one worth rehashing. Ree's right, though - enough is enough and this needs to end. This thread is now locked. |
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