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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Advice
        
(Message started by: ChevyChic0668 on Jul 8^th, 2003, 9:55pm)

Title: Advice
Post by ChevyChic0668 on Jul 8^th, 2003, 9:55pm

Hi everybody,
I guess Ill take a second to say I'm Heather well Im only 17 but I have a stepfather with CH, I go though alot with him and so does my mother, every day is a struggle to deal with his pain, I cant even imagine it but some how when I first saw him have one I can so I try to be helpful only when he is on the onset of a CH he gets very snappy and just picks on every little thing I do and can be the smallest thing in the world. I now try my hardest to help him when I know hes gonna have one by getting his heating pad or telling my mother. Its very difficult and with you guys having this prolly longer then me what did you do to help them or just to avoid the force of it all. He is currently on Oxycodon to help the pain but still feels it with them but sometimes hes just a friendly person but I grew up sense I was 9 with him with his headaches so its like another person when hes on them, hes friendly and its just strange to me but I know its better that way just I just feel so sorry for him at times. Just recently he went to the VA to get the meds and he had one right there the Docter didnt even know what to do for him...and she studied this. I guess what Im asking is how should I deal with his headaches and such? Thank You.

~Heather~

Title: Re: Advice
Post by Ted on Jul 8^th, 2003, 10:10pm

Man, it always touches me when I see someone come here for the first time asking in a heartfelt manner how they can help their parent/spouse. I think even more when it's the kid because you're supposed to be rebelling against your folks instead of plugging in "cluster headaches" into a search engine for them so you can help.
Listen, what you might want to do is ask him what he needs and if he wants you in the room or to be left alone. Don't take too much on your shoulders with this if you can help it. Tell your mother first so she can be in the front lines instead of you.
Also, tell him to check out this site too. There are better meds than Oxycodon for him. Many of us get relief with pure oxygen (O2) or Imitrex. There are also many medicines he can take to hopefully prevent some of the attacks and make a lot of the ones that get through not as painful.
Many here get snappy and yell at people around us when an attack comes on/is on so don't take it personally when he does.

Title: Re: Advice
Post by Darleen on Jul 9^th, 2003, 1:16pm

Hi Heather,

I'm glad you posted asking for help. My husband John gets clusters and yes he can be very mean and cranky while he is being hit but we can't even imagine the pain sufferers go through. John says when he is not in cycle he almost can't imagine and he is the one with the clusters. The best thing is to ask your stepfather when he is not in pain what you can do for him when a cluster attacks. When he is in pain it's much more difficult to tell you in a nice calm manner.

With me, when John wakes up with the clusters, I know to get him a cold compress. his meds, glass of water and then I wait. When he screams that he needs something else, I get it.

Listen to Ted too, because when they are in pain, don't take anything too personal.

I'm sure he will appreciate any help and support you and your mom can give him.

Good luck and hope they come to an end soon.

D

Title: Re: Advice
Post by Ree on Jul 24^th, 2003, 7:31pm

Hi Honey My husband too has Clusters and has started his cycle this month... I too have noticed how snappy he can be and how every little thing bothers him... I have seen this condition rear its ugly head for 15 years. Dave has seen it for longer... he has to endure the pain as your step dad does too...
What Ted said is true you should be commended for trying to deal with this condition and coping is key... You take care of you. Be patient with your parents and just let them know you are there if they need you... you can email me if you need to at Ree16angel@aol.com take care Ree

Title: Re: Advice
Post by goaway on Jul 27^th, 2003, 4:00pm

Hi Heather-

I'm Mike, and have I have been a CH for 16 years. Bravo to you for caring and trying. I am sure that your stepfather does not intend to respond negatively. I am hopeful that you understand that his pain pushes him beyond the limits of "good behavior" at times. Don't take it personally. I can be the world's grouchiest bear when I am having an episode. Just ask my wonderful and loving family!

I agree with the others. Knowing in advance what helps is best. In the middle of the pain, a CH really does not want to have polite conversation. Also, try to get him to get more info from this site. There are many types of medications out there that might suit him better.

I'll tell you this....your stepfather should appreciate what he's got. Sounds like you are a special young lady. Remember though, you have your own life to live. So don't forget to be 17, OK? Best regards.

Title: Re: Advice
Post by daisymae on Jul 27^th, 2003, 11:36pm

What a lucky man to have you for a step-daughter. Hang in there and keep in touch. ;)