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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Coping with coping
        
(Message started by: Anthem on Apr 20^th, 2003, 1:35pm)

Title: Coping with coping
Post by Anthem on Apr 20^th, 2003, 1:35pm

Greetings all, this is my first post. My wife (CATLIND) suffers from CH's and I finally got off my rear and decided to post.

As a supporter, I just wanted to share with others so that we all may learn and share and help each other. In my experience, I have noticed that she can have the tendency to have a CH triggered by stress. That being the case, I try to remove the stressor(s). Sounds simple, but many may overlook this simple thing. Instead of looking for the "miracle medicine" to slay the beast, I try to find where the beast is lurking and take him out first before he can attack. Some times I am successful, other times I am not.

Helping her cope with stress has been as helpful as helping her cope with the pain. Unfortunately, most of you know that the pain can be stressful! So a vicious cycle develops and a CH hits, the pain causes stress, which in turn feeds the CH, causing more stress, etc. By trying to remove any “original” stress, I can at least try to stop any CH from starting.

Does anyone else have any experience with this sort of thing?

Thanks,
Clark

Title: Re: Coping with coping
Post by Ree on Apr 22^nd, 2003, 11:12am

Sounds like you have it down pretty well Clark...its funny Cat has been supporting all the people here for so long that I forget that she is sufferer instead of a supporter... We could really use a guy around here...Not a lot of husbands of sufferers post here... again welcome... I cant wait to meet you both... Ree

Title: Re: Coping with coping
Post by Anthem on Apr 22^nd, 2003, 8:16pm

Ree,

I'm glad to be here! I hope I will be able to add to the grand milieu and not take away. It takes quite a lot to get me mad, so I probably won’t flame anyone unless they just completely piss me off . hehe

Clark
http://home.twcny.rr.com/clind/aimhigh2.gif

Title: Re: Coping with coping
Post by firebrix on Apr 23^rd, 2003, 1:36am

Greetings Anthem and Welcome!
Always looking for answers here - or anything that might work.
I think you're on to it with the stress thing too - the ha. seem to occur after stressful times with more intensity and frequency. Sometimes, anyway.
Its good to meet you!
firebrix

Title: Re: Coping with coping
Post by Margi on Apr 23^rd, 2003, 10:21am

Hi Clark and welcome :) It's about time you posted here! I know you do a wonderful job of supporting Cat and she mentioned to me that you were going to join our group here.
As to your stress theory: yes, as supporters, we do sometimes have to perfect the art of walking on eggshells and acting as a buffer for our clusterheads. It's sure not an easy job all the time is it?
One thing that all supporters need to know, though, is that we can NOT stop every attack no matter how hard we try. It's like trying to stop thunder or a sunrise, if you think about it. When we DO see success in aborting attacks and if, as you say, we've been working hard to prevent outside influencing factors we do feel a small victory. Just be careful though, Clark, not to let that go to your head, ok? Because when Cat's attacks do breakthrough, you'll feel so let down and helpless. That's what leads to supporter burnout and, honey, it ain't pretty.
Keep up the great work Clark!

Title: Re: Coping with coping
Post by cathy on Apr 23^rd, 2003, 1:47pm

Hi Clark...trying to remove 'stress' is the number one thing here, luckily even the children (all 4 of them) know that when Dad is in cycle that they are to become angels....hmmmm, but as young as two of them are (only 5) they are real treasures and will only play quietly in the playroom and give daddy lots of hugs and kisses to help. As supporters we all know how difficult it is to keep stress to a minimum because as you say it is a viscious circle, but our love is there for them and our stress free efforts too!!!

Look forward to meeting you and cat at the Uk convention if you come.

Cathy :)

Title: conundrum
Post by rumplestiltskin on May 5^th, 2003, 1:39am

...and then theres those ever so many of us for whom the opposite is true....that relaxation not stress is when the pain comes.

We are an "almost" husband and wife team of sufferers/supporters...thank Gog neither of us are "stress" triggered....cause livin with either of us is nuts.

I rarely wander over here...I feel more like a witness than a supporter

It's nice and civilized at this forum....and quiet....and calm....and yikes....I gotta get back to the stress forum....

Good Grief
den