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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Newbie Wife of CH Sufferer
        
(Message started by: Russ_T on Apr 15^th, 2003, 8:26pm)

Title: Newbie Wife of CH Sufferer
Post by Russ_T on Apr 15^th, 2003, 8:26pm

Evening everyone :) I'm Denise, the wife of CH'er Russ_T. I'm so glad that Russ found this website and suggested that I read some of the great info that is provided at this site.

The article "The Devil" was a real eye-opener for me. In each word that was written, I could see Russ, himself, as the "author". "The Devil" described my husband to a "T" and the pain that Russ tried to describe to me now makes much more sense after reading the article.

It's a real bitch when I went to bed one evening with the Russ that I know and love, only to wake up the next morning with this blithering idiot who only 30%resembled my husband. The pain that Russ was (and is still) dealing with only seemed minimal to me. I mean, hey I was the one who birthed a child without any medication - that was sure pain in my opinion; however, I now look at childbirth as nothing more painful than a papercut compared to the 10-plus pain that Russ feels when the Beast attacks him.

The Beast has consumed Russ wholely - taken him body, mind, and soul, and has yet allowed Russ to return to me 100%. We are working towards complete recapture from the Beast, and I (as the wife) am finally realizing that it is not an overnight process. I have learned to accept the fact that when the CH is raging out of control, that Russ will experience some temporary confusion and/or memory loss, or that he will get out of bed several times thru-out the night to deal with the pain on his own. How I often wish that there was something that I could do to help ease the pain, but I know that the only help that I can offer (and is accepted at times by Russ) is moral support, holding his hand, and just sitting next to him when he is so racked with the pain.

When we married 4 years ago, the vows included "...for better or worse, in sickness and in health..." and right now, those 2 sentenances are being put to the test daily.

Again...many thanks :) for creating this site to let the spouses/significant others of CH sufferers gain some understanding in what actually is happening to the CH'er when the Beast attacks.

Denise (Russ_T's wife)

Title: Re: Newbie Wife of CH Sufferer
Post by vig on Jul 1^st, 2003, 1:04pm

You go girl.

Title: Re: Newbie Wife of CH Sufferer
Post by cathy on Jul 1^st, 2003, 4:11pm

Great post Denise......keep on keeping on... ;D

Cathy

Title: husband of CH Sufferer
Post by rumplestiltskin on Jul 3^rd, 2003, 8:11am

I don't "peek" over here very often...i guess I should more...I'm in a unique situation, being the better half of the recently married "clusterhead couple", I can totally emphasize with Georgia when one minute she is her crazy silly self and a moment later I hear her crying hystericaly in the bathroom.

"Return him to you?" I truely believe that we can be changed to our core by Cluster events. They are massive occurances which effect body mind and spirit. When one is there...reality is drastically altered. Yer core beliefs are challenged and tested. These "things" are either dealt with, denied, or given the power to destroy us. Where our spirit resides during the painfree times will vastly effect who we are when we emerge from the darkness.

Change is inevitable. As a supporter I try not to have expectations about who will emerge from the battlefield. As a sufferer I can only be glad I have someone to love me afterwards.

Walk in the sunshine
den

Title: Re: Newbie Wife of CH Sufferer
Post by lbenson on Aug 20^th, 2003, 11:12pm

My husband has had these CHs for over 20 years. They usually are at night, and while he is in cycle I can barely sleep. I hear him getting up, pacing, groaning, turning on the oxygen. He suffers so much, and there is nothing I can do but feel helpless. While he is in cycle I have a knot in the pit of my stomach that never leaves. Lucky for us, he cycles only once a year or even year and a half. We have learned to live with this, and verapmil had been a big help during the last few years. Good luck to you.

Title: Re: Newbie Wife of CH Sufferer
Post by cootie on Aug 21^st, 2003, 10:51pm

I know how you feel lbenson.....I sit on the couch stareing at the TV or starein out a window or at a wall silently listening to the background noises of a suffer. Pam that is a better listener