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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
        
(Message started by: Leesa on Mar 25^th, 2003, 9:54am)

Title: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Leesa on Mar 25^th, 2003, 9:54am

My first post here and Im not sure what in the heck to do. Dave was hit on Sunday but thank god for Imitrex we caught it in time. I hate to say this but I don't know what to do. Everytime he gets hit it seems its worse then the last. I dont know what I can do for him other then what Ive been doing. I try to keep the kids informed as to what is going on and keep them down to a VERY dull roar. I try to keep the house running as ususal but inside I feel dying. I get the ice packs and watch him rock and bang his head and all I want to do is scream and cry like a baby becasue I cant do a damn thing to help. I hate this with a purple passion. I dont feeling like this. This feeling of helplessness is driving me crazy. He says what I do is what he needs and all I can do but I dont think so there has to be something more I can do. I just dont know what it is. If I could wiggle my nose and take the pain for him as well as all the other "family" members, I would in a NY min. I hope and pray that one day very soon all CHers will NEVER have to deal with the beast EVER again!
There is ALWAYS hope and I'll keep hopin!!

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Margi on Mar 25^th, 2003, 10:29am

First of all, Leesa, BIG TIGHT HUGS. We all know you can and will get thru this with your usual style and grace and you will provide wonderful support to Dave and your family through this. (And just how many times can YOU use the word 'and' in a sentence? ;))
Sweetie, you're going through 'supporter panic'. We all do, at the beginning of a cycle or the first sight of a rogue attack. The panic phase will pass and your supporter skills will come back to you in a rush. You'll be taking this in stride in no time. No, it doesn't take your pain or his pain away, but you WILL deal with it as you know you have in the past.
Leesa, you're one of the best supporters here. Keep reminding yourself of that, ok? And if you forget - we'll do it for you.
I'm at moxie_miss@hotmail.com if you need a shoulder, a hug, or if you need to scream, swear, cry, whatever. You'll do fine, honey - you got an army of us behind you.
Give Dave a hug for us and huddle down if you are indeed going to battle. We'll help you through it.
love ya
Margi

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by BonnieW on Mar 25^th, 2003, 2:36pm

Leesa - ditto to everything Margi said - it sounds like you are already doing everything right - you just feel like you are missing something. Hang in there and remember to look after yourself too. We know you are strong and you can do it!!
Love,
Bonnie

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by firebrix on Mar 25^th, 2003, 3:00pm

Welcome Leesa!
Well said Margi! You do have a way with words!
I am a supporter too Leesa, so understand your feelings. How well I remember seeing Mopar's first attacks. I was sure he was dying! We become more skilled at dealing with CH as we practise dealing with it. We worked out systems to help each other and discussed what Mopar would like me to do when he got hit. We keep re-arranging these systems as we need to.
It seemed pointless for me too to cry, despair and generally make things worse for him so I decided to BE STRONG and manage as best I can. After all we don't actually suffer that abominable pain, and must be strong and hold things together while the ha passes.

I read a little Toltec philosophy and try to keep these four agreements:
Be meaningful with my words. Don't say things I do not mean. Edit before opening my mouth.
Make no assumptions. (Assumptions are the road to hell)
Do Not take anything personally. Things get said when Ch is right in our faces. It is not personal so let it go. Make sure that what I say is meaningful but allow him to vent.
Always do my best. Can't go wrong with this one - worst that'll happen is you'll get very GOOD at Everything!

Feel free to contact me at any time if you need a little support yourself - always ready to help here!

Hang in there friend. It will get better. He needs to see that you love him and be reassured of that. Just loving him and being there will help him.

firebrix

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Ree on Mar 25^th, 2003, 9:44pm

Leesa just being there... He knows you are doing what you can...and ditto ditto ditto ditto... all that Margi and the others said is true... I know that feeling of helplessness and believe it or not I can actually compare it to my son fighting this new war... there is nothing I can do and I feel so useless... Just care and be there and pray... when they get intense you know that they are usually coming to some sort of a close... tell Dave Hi... I know I havent been very supportive lately but... no excuse... I care email me if you need me too... Love ya Ree

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Leesa on Mar 26^th, 2003, 8:47am

Now I know why I love this family! Thanks for being there. Its a great comfort to know I have a place to vent where I know I'm not alone in this fight. With family like this the beast does'nt stand a snowballs chance in hell! Yall are the BEST. I'm too hard headed to let this get me down too far for too long. Maybe the beast needs to visit me and my hard head, I'll bet he would turn tail and run. LOL ;) Ive been a supporter for since 2000 you would think I would be used to this by now. NOT. Like a lot of things in life this is one you never get used to. I'll just have to suck it up, enjoy any and all PF time that is given & help in any way I can.
Ree, I dont have family in this war but I do have LOTS of friends so I can relate on some level with you. More being deployed everyday. :-[ My prayers and thoughts are with you and all family as with all the familys and our fighting troops.
Firebrix, those words from Toltec say it all. Thank you!!
:D Again, thanks so much for this. I guess I needed this more then I thought. Love you all. I feel much better now. *in best little kid voice* ;) See Margi I can use other words too besides and, LMBO ;D HUGS to you all!
Thank you ladies, yall are the BEST!!!!
PS: Dave says thanks and hugs all round ;)

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Margi on Mar 26^th, 2003, 10:00am

Attagirl, Leesa - there's that fighting spirit that we all knew you would find.

And, sweetie, I was criticizing myself about my over usage of the word 'and' in my writing LOL I'm sorry if you thought that was aimed at you. It wasn't. Hadn't had enough coffee yet in order to be able to form proper sentences. ;)

How was Dave's night? Anyone get any sleep?

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Leesa on Mar 26^th, 2003, 5:00pm

LMBO Margi...........your too much gal. I love ya!!! Dave hasnt been hit since Sunday *knowing on wood* maybe the beast saw me with the injection and ran like hell, I sure hope he did. Thank God for Imitrex. ;D He's sleeping good these days. Wish I was. LOL
I cant even look at the puter till Ive had at least 2 cups of coffee in this body. LOL Heck if the coffee aint in the bod, dont even LOOK at me or youll get bit. LOL Can ya tell Im not a morning person??? LOL Thanks again it means alot!!
Later tater 8)

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by cathy on Mar 26^th, 2003, 6:26pm

....Hi Leesa sorry Im late as usual, glad Dave has had some PF time, and happy to see your feeling better yourself, as supporters we all know what your going through.

Keep your chin up...think you probably scared the beast off...was it the needle or the look in your eye.. ;D

Feel free to email me should you need to vent.

Cathy :)

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Darleen on Mar 27^th, 2003, 2:15pm

Hey Leesa,

I totally hear ya and I also thank God every day for this site. I may not post often but just reading all the posts and knowing that there are others like us who support and suffer makes me feel less alone.

I'm glad to hear that Dave is having some pain free time.

John's in his 5th week right now and I think this must be the worst ever. I don't know if it has to do with the long winter we have had or what but I sure hope it ends real soon. He hasn't been to work all week except 1 day and has no sick leave left.

All you can do is take it one day at a time and thank God for the pain free ones.

Lots of luv to you both,
D :)

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Margi on Mar 27^th, 2003, 5:34pm

*sigh* I hate spring and what it does to these circadian rhythms. I'm so sorry to hear about John, Darleen. Hang in there, gal.

Hugs

p.s. i'll be offline for a few days here for an office move. Please watch out for each other, ok?

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Leesa on Mar 28^th, 2003, 10:46am

Darleen, thanks! Thanks to this sight and the family we have here when the beast knocks I know Im not alone and it eases some of the stress and the pain we all feel. I hope that Jonh is feeling some much needed PF time really soon. Let me know if I can help in any way. I have prayers and good vibes going to you and Jonh from our house to yours.
Cathy, I think it was both the injection and the look in my eye. HEHEHEHHEEEE and thanks so much.
As I always say "This is the BEST care anywhere & I LOVE THIS FAMILY"

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by Darleen on Mar 28^th, 2003, 11:45am

Ditto to tha Leesa!!

Hope Dave is feeling better real soon!!

D :)

Title: Re: Feeling helpless when he comes a knockin
Post by ch_nic on May 2^nd, 2003, 3:10pm

hi leesa, sorry to hear that.
hope he'll be getting the pain-free period soon.

i've had my CH for years, the last time it happened was in mid-feb this year, before that i've been pain-free for 3+ years.

this time it lasted for a little longer (3 weeks). i took the prednisone pills prescribed to me the last time for 3 weeks... finally the beast was gone.

i scared my girlfriend a lot too. she didn't know what to do and felt so helpless. as when it happens i wished to be alone, not being touched, except with the help of handing me the hot towers.

i personally find using hot towels or heat pads over the pain area helped. at least i could lie still on the bed without banging my head too much.

i also find "maybe" the start of it was being hungry/empty stomache. i remember most of the times when it attacked i was hungry. so now i never make myself starve from work or breakfast. ask Dave to see if he feels the same way. but anyway, best of luck! it'll be over!! :)