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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Bittersweet!!!
        
(Message started by: woobie on Nov 8^th, 2002, 1:41pm)

Title: Bittersweet!!!
Post by woobie on Nov 8^th, 2002, 1:41pm

Well, I don't even know where to begin. My husbands been having these headaches for the past 4 years, and just got diagnosed with clusters less than 2 weeks ago.. and I've been on this website (and OUCH too) every single day since then. I've read almost everything... and printed out a lot too. It has been a HUGE help to me.. .and him. And I am looking forward to making some new friends here.. this place has already brought me to tears more than I can count with all of the love that's here.

My husband doesn't drink.. Thank God! But he does smoke. He doesn't want to quit.. he says "it's the only vice I have." What can I say? If I had to live with CH.. I would need a vice too. I guess.. I can't see making him try to quit when he's got all of this on his plate right now.. after his cycle.. i will talk to him about it.. he has read about smoking being a trigger, and hasn't smoked as much recently.. on his own.. so maybe it will be what he needs to see that.

He also has a chronic anxiety and depression disorder.. which.. has been totally out of control recently. He's constantly worried about when he's going to get another headache, and he's been unbearable to live with in between them. Normally, (without the CHs).. he can get unbearable.. especially since he thought he was nuts before being diagnosed. So this is just adding to it. and now that he's actually been told WHAT it is.. there's a name for the beast, and it makes him feel better that he isn't crazy... it does exist.. and he's not the only one. THAT makes him feel better.. especially since he's read the stories of people who are chronic. He now knows.. (he couldn't imagine it before..) that there are people worse than him.. and if they can do it.. he can.

BUT.. at the same time.. he's now got this.. "you don't understand" attitude towards me. How could I TOTALLY understand.. i dont have the pain. But I have read this website in and out.. and I DO understand the frustration.. the confusion. and everything else BUT the pain. The sleep deprivation.. the anxiety it causes.. the helplessness.. He doesn't understand that I understand in a different way.. I see what he goes thru. I'm not stupid.

How do you deal with the mood swings?? Are the mood swings normal? I literally have to ask him if it's ok to talk to him. The kids are scared to go near him.. talk to him.. ask him anything.. so now.. I have to be EVERYTHING around here. I have to do the shopping, the cleaning, the laundry, the cooking.. the taxi cab, the decision maker, the care taker, the BAD GUY when I have to tell the kids no. I have to call the DRs and make appts.. ask for meds, pick them up.. get the instructions and relay them to him.. I have to do everything, and I'm getting pissed.. because he's just laying down and letting it take over. Now that he knows he's not crazy, and it does exist, its like.. WOW, I have a reason to lay here and let everyone feel sorry for me. Is THIS NORMAL??? and what do I do about it??

He posted a few things.. (Cerebus1968..) and says...."I am not willing to give up the fight".. but he's not doing anything. I tell him what others do to help themselves, but when he gets a HA.. he does nothing. He lays there thrashing.. even tho I tell him (before the HA I tell him. not when he's Having one.. i learned not to do that) i tell him that laying down makes it worse.. i tell him to get up and walk around.. drink lots of water.. get something cold on your neck.. etc.. and he just lays there. How can I help him is he wont help himself? Am I just supposed to let him suffer until he WAKES up? Should I stop doing everything for him?? It's making me mad.

Thanks for listening!

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by Margi on Nov 8^th, 2002, 1:53pm

Hi Tina,
first of all - big hugs, darlin - welcome to the world of being a cluster supporter!!

mood swings are commonly mentioned here. The hypothalmus is different in clusterheads and rules a lot of things in their bodies (sleep, thermostat, moods, etc.), so when they're in cycle, everything is out of whack. You COULD try him on some St. Johnswort if he's feeling depressed....it's helped some people here - kind of Nature's Prozac, if you will.

I think that's probably a normal reaction for him to suddenly think you don't understand, because he's NOW found others who actually HAVE felt his pain. Until now, you've been the only one he could talk to about it, right? Now there's a whole website of compadres for him. And, Tina? There's lots of us supporters here who understand YOUR pain. I'm sure Ree will be posting soon to share war stories, too.

Sometimes, we just gotta suck it up, as supporters and carry a little more than our share of the load - just as I'm sure your hubby would for you, if you were sick.

And, not to worry - he will eventually try some of the tricks and tips here. Why not just have an ice pack ready for his next attack and just give it to him (without saying anything) when he gets hit? I use those gel-filled things that never really quite freeze, and stick one in a cloth gift bag (it hurts the skin because it's so cold), and Mike just lays it on the back of his neck at onset. And just go GET him a glass of ice water. Don't ask if he wants it, just do it. Then, at least, in your own mind you're doing something to help, right? It's his choice if he wants to accept your help. I'm bettin he will. ;)

Hang in there, Tina - keep venting all you like. All us cluster supporters have walked in your shoes, honey. We're pretty much shockproof here. Been there done that.

:)

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by Ree on Nov 8^th, 2002, 2:12pm

Hi I'm Ree and if you've read any of my posts you know I have lived the same Hell as you. I am so sorry it is effecting you and your family in this manner... Yes as supporters we have to take on alot of the responsibilities of home stuff, but I wouldnt let him totally off the hook... If your kids are feeling afraid to approach your husband someone has to tell him to lighten up... Life goes on before during and after CH... we are all proof of that. Yes there are people worse off but when your feeling the pain of a CH as my husband says its hard to focus on anything else. He would rather be alone in his suffering... I dont allow that but that is because that works for my family~ I try to help him focus... so he doesnt KILL himself (realistically this can happen)...
Next time your husband is having a few hours off or you have time with him alone, ask him how he expects your family to react to his attacks...Perhaps he would like to be in a room away from everyone. Perhaps he would like just to know you care to support him... Sounds like your fed up with the whole picture... Tell him when he is not having an attack even as tired as he is you and your family need assurance that you are all still loved... Dont take personally anything that happens during an attack. It kind of like when a woman is in Labor we get away with hating everyone... they can too... Take all the pain of labor put it in your eye and add an icepick... thats a ch. Explain to your kids age appropriately whats going on... and Dont take abuse from anyone... just be there. If he wont listen bring him to the board... tell him to talk to a few guys or gals that are feeling his pain... and the pain of his family... We are your family now~~~ Welcome... Ree

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by woobie on Nov 9^th, 2002, 8:48am

Hello again..
(im really worried about Ramon seeing this.. )
LOL
I don't mean to sound so bitter.. well.. i guess i did that day.. but im better today.
I love him.. don't get me wrong!! I was just mad!! He has been better since yesterday when I wrote that.. I did notice, he started doing some of the things suggested...ARG... (wonder if he saw my post.. LMAO!!)

In hind sight...I guess I am having more problems with his anxiety and depression more than anything.. he's tried a BAGILLION different meds for that.. and all of them either didn't work or made him sick.. or worked for a while and then stopped. He's just soooo moody all of the time!! That's what I can't handle.
Then, he was diagnosed with this, and I couldn't tell if it was a GOOD thing, or a bad thing. (not that the HAs would be good in any way.. ) I mean, it was a relief to him that he wasn't crazy.. but at the same time.. he was like ... "OH... Sh**... what's THAT!?? and it's always gonna be there and there's no cure??" Then his anxiety and depression set in.. for that.. and then it was worse than before the latest batch of HAs hit. Am I making sense?????
I guess the anxiety and depression thing is something I need a whole different message board.. eh?? It's also another thing that people don't fully understand unless they know someone with it intimately. Granted.. there's more common knowledge about anxiety and depression than Clusters, but still, people don't understand the way they THINK they do.
Today, I was venting at work, and my friend says "what's he got to be depressed about?" they just don't get that there doesn't have to BE anything wrong.. it just happens.
And as for anxiety.. no one can explain that.. and it's hard for someone who doesn't have to deal with it in their lives to TRULY understand.
And I haven't even bothered telling anyone at work about Ramon's headaches. I just feel like they wouldn't understand.. and that's what you all are here for. I just don't have the energy right now to try to explain to people .. who really.. to he honest.. dont care.

Hey.. anyone know a good Anxiety depression supporter message board??? LOL... i need me one of those too.

So, I know that these clusters probably cause a lot of anxiety in people who normally dont have anxiety...and their supporters. ( I know that I've been having a lot in the past two weeks... ) How do YOU deal with it??
Thanks for the encouragement..
BTW Margi.. that's one of my favorite sayings.. "Suck it up, Cupcake!!!" LOL And I do, believe me. I think I let more roll off my back than I should.... Ree.. you're right.
That's all for now, I have to go get some sleep while I can!! (i work nights.. )
Thanks again.. and ILL BE BACK!!
Tina

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cootie on Nov 9^th, 2002, 2:06pm

woobie.....Oh my.....you explained my house to the total " T" with this CH stuff and we have been goin 'round and 'round with it for over 15 years ! Gawd I felt jus like you....if ya read somea my posts earlier on here...which ya probly did....you'll know what I mean ! Took me over a year to get him to even go to a doctor when he first had em.....it was a total nitemare....and yeah....he was moody and wanted at argue about everything and only talk about his HA's and I jus 'didn't understand' he'd say....thought I was gonna go nuts myself. When he had attacks it was as if everything had to come to an abrupt halt around him or he got pissed.....everything.....noise....family functions or family functioning at all in this house.....company.....plans......EVERYTHING. Then he got to where he'd go off by himself like most do. He does the imitrex and virapimil.....took them weeks to work before but now once he got into the routine with the meds rite away "he" got more manageable....but that took a long time..I can't force him to go on meds and argue he has sinus or CH's back. He'd wait to long to start on the meds and swear it was sinus so he'd get hit bad then we'd have to go from there. When he starts to get a CH I don't say a word now......I learned alot on here....no matter what I said it was wrong....there in excrutiating (spelling ?) pain so there not thinkin bout bein polite and I had to remember that ! I'd get defensive about it....ferget that but it is upsetting jus the same ! I go get what he needs or will need or mite need or YELLS for and set it down by him like throwing a wild animal a hunk of meat and hope not to get bit !!!! I'll go in the other room if he doesn't....whatever...or I'll go outside. He wants it quiet if he stays on the couch...even all my housecats stay out of the room......they know to ! He's alot easier to deal with this last episode tho....I told him he needed to get started on his meds rite away as he thought it to be sinus 'agin' and tried to avoid the matter but he knew they'd be harder to get rid of if he didn't and he has to learn to manage his meds if he even thinks it's a CH attack and not jus try to 'wish' it away ...I do all the doctor calls...make his appointment....pick up meds...argue with the insurence co....and I stop all life as we know it around him....turn off the washer or dryer or whatever....I have to explain why he won't be here calls to friends, family and work.....blah blah blah....exactly like you been doin. It makes the family disfunctional dureing his cycle tho....I'm glad it's just us two here now ...it was so odd when we had the daughter here and things had to come to a halt dureing his attacks....like our family had some sorta deep dark secret no one else probly went thru or understood or would understand. I get bad depression bouts and this CH's stuff throws me into a tizzy worse. Change in life style is so drastic for us dureing the cycle.....change isn't always good....were all creatures of habit. I feel guilty I hate and dread his attacks so bad...vicious cycle. But it's a good deal if you can work together on this....he go to a certain quiet room and you have maybe the packs and meds ready and then you go do your thing away from that room...it's less disruptive to the entire family that way and things not as tense after the attacks cuz of the ordeal each one put the other thru....sad but true. Best to be some sort of a team....it's the only way !! Good luck......hope I didn't ramble on to long here.....but I know all to well how you feel and I never had ANYONE that understood any of this to talk to till now !!! For all those years !!!!! I tried but no one could comprehend what we went thru....this is a safe haven here !! cootie

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by Margi on Nov 9^th, 2002, 3:07pm

I gotta interject here. Woobie and Cootie, you both really seem to be at odds about the depression and mood swings your husbands are going through. Let me just ask you this: Wouldn't YOU be depressed and angry if YOU had a conditions like clusters? Knowing you're not going to get good sleep for God knows how long? Knowing you're going through insane pain and not able to find any immediate relief? Knowing you're at the mercy of some unseen beast? Man, I sure would be!

And, I understand why you 'don't bother' to tell others about your husbands' pain. Seriously, though gals....TALK about it. EDUCATE people as to what cluster headaches are all about. There is NO shame in admitting that your husbands have cluster headaches and, the more you do talk about it, the more the word gets out. The more the word gets out, the closer we all get to a cure. So, by all means - speak up!

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cootie on Nov 9^th, 2002, 3:46pm

Yer very rite about all that I know....I've caught myself tryin to explain his CH's and lost my crowd.....it takes so long to explain they just think you are goin on and on and on....people just don't 'get it'....they think yer exagerateng I guess or goin to far with the subject I dunno....but belive me I have spent many a nite boreing the socks off freinds and family.....sometimes you can catch them to where they take notice there is sumthin "more" goin on here and listen and other times they just say...'huh, that must be aweful' and change the subject. I wear myself out tryin to explain it....I sent some info off this site to my parents and they emailed back saying...oh I didn't realize the HA's were 'that' bad......after all these years of explainin (15 yrs plus !!!)!!!!! They never did get it all that time.....so they sorta got an idea now it is a bit out of the ordinery I think and I got some sorta point across fineally. Got family pissed at us rite now for not takeing a family visiting trip a while back cuz he was goin thru his cycle and it is a 2 hour drive one way and entire day stay ordeal (all ridein together in my folks van with my family and his).....'trapped like rats'....jus wasn't into it...and it'd of been so far away at the same time esp if he had a CH attack. We still haven't went out there on our own for our expected all day visit we owe.....my mom got bit pissy with me about it yesturday and thinks we should just 'do it'.....yeah probly rite but it's still a lill touch and go round here even tho the cycle seems to be broken this round....it's still early in the game yet....were jus tryin to catch up on things and stay local at the moment. Not ready ta put on the happy happy face visit all day trip....so....I guess the family 'didn't understand after all. It's a long and bumpy road.....I'm workin on it....thanks.........cootie

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cerebus1968 on Nov 10^th, 2002, 8:02am

;D Hello !!!

I didn't mean that I was getting mad at him for the depression of the headaches. Let me explain what I mean. He only gets these headaches once a year.. around this time.. and last year, it was diagnosed "inflammed nerve in the sinus". Well, IN BETWEEN these attacks..THAT"S the period I was talking about.
When he got THESE headaches - this year - (two weeks ago) was diagnosed with CH. I TOTALLY understand why he would be anxious and depressed about the headaches.. that's not where the problem lies.. I'm talking about IN GENERAL. The every day anxiety and depression.. and then this just making it worse. And.. i understand that!!
That's why I said that I'm having trouble with the general AD thing.. not specifically because of the headaches. Yes, the headaches magnify the situation, but that's understandable. That's why I said that I need to find me another MB for supporters of chronic anxiety and depression. LOL... for the general - every day - out of cycle - no reason for it - BullS***!! LOL ;D

Like I said before.. he gets them once a year.. around this time.. and the 1st year they lasted a week. The 2nd year they lasted almost a month.. and the last two years.. a couple weeks. So, I keep waiting for them to stop. He had a really bad one the day before yesterday.. and then yesterday he said he only had shadows all day. Is that right?? I mean.. do you have shadows all day without getting a real HA?? I was under the assumption that shadows are between the clusters... I was wondering if he's just having a "normal" headache. (which he does have "normal" headaches throughout the year).
I was hoping maybe they're going away now.. since he's been on these preventatives this time.. maybe they're kickin in or something and it's gonna be over?? I hope so.. he's in so much pain. I'm hoping that he's just having a "normal" headache.. and if I could tell him.. "honey.. everyone on the clusterheads website said that shadows don't last for days.. you must be having a normal headache.." maybe he would be alright.

I do have to tell you.. there are times when he's soooo worried about something, that he gets headaches - normal ones.
He's also the type that if the Dr. gives him a new medicine (antidepressant or anxiety med) and he reads the side effects.. he will get EVERY one of them. The Dr has told me to keep the list of side effects away from him.. and tell him to tell me what he's feeing like .. so that he doesn't do it to himself. He has that whole.. "power of suggestion" thing working against him.. if he thinks that this pill will give you a headache.. BOOM.. he has a headache.. If I told him that this pill will make you dizzy.. he's dizzy and can't stand up. If I gave him a sugar pill and told him that it's gonna make him high.. he's be high.. believe me!! I've given him a tylenol and told him it was a vicodin. ... and he told me he was feeling warm and fuzzy and the pain was gone. He's just like that.
Like.. I told him I needed glasses.. went to the Dr and got glasses.. A week later.. HE needed glasses... so I took him.. and he didn't need glasses. One time I had a wisdom tooth pulled, and ALL OF THE SUDDEN, he needed one of his teeth pulled. So, we went to the dentist, and he was fine. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.. and all of the sudden, his joints hurt really bad. I dont feel good.. and the suddenly, he's sick too.. LOL.. he's so impressionable!! God, I love him!!! ;) He's so cute that way... but with the anxiety.. sometimes I wonder.. (as does his Dr.) if he thinks himself into his ailments. I know you cannot THINK yourself into a cluster.. and that's not what I'm questioning.. PLEASE don't get me wrong.
So, NOW .. I'm just wondering if all of his "normal" headaches thruout the year are going to be "shadows".. and.. is that possible.. that all the "normal" every day headaches he gets are?? How does that work?? If he only gets the BAD beast one time a year?
Oh, well.. I think that's enough for now.. I type long ones.. SORRY!!!
Tina

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cerebus1968 on Nov 10^th, 2002, 8:04am

OOOPPS.. i didn't realize I was signed in with my husbands name.. SORRY.. this is really woobie.. I swear!! ::)
Another thing... while I'm here... :)
Is there any way I can make is so Ramon cant see the things I say about him in this??? LOL\

Tina

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cootie on Nov 10^th, 2002, 10:02am

Boy hope I didn't sound like I get mad at Brad for havein his CH's cuz I don't...I was on a roll the other day on here explainin stuff and how I feel and the sitution. I don't get mad at him or upset....it's just upsetting. Very stressful for Brad to have the worry of them plus keep up at work and everything else. Geeze.....I'm the same darn way with any meds....yeow.....I read what the side effects are on stuff that works and suddenly I have them all and stop useing it...ha-ha-ha ! I've actually just set stuff on the shelf cuz of readin side effects I didn't want without even giveing it a try cuz I just knew I'd get em all..silly silly silly. Brad had those shadows for quite a while inbetween CH attacks.....he'd have em all day at work and don't think he was on the rite dose of verapimil a day cuz he was only takein 180 mg once a day. His attacks used to come like clockwork but then got off schedule and he'd have them shadows all day inbetween even after he broke the cycle he had them for about a week off and on. Rite now he's PF and were really happy about that and hope there gone forever ! His go about about every 2 to 3 years......his last episode with them was almost 3 years ago and always hit this time of year. This stretch with them lasted a little over 6 weeks but he got them under control pretty early on so they weren't real bangers but threaten'd to be so the anxiety was there big time esp around midnight after he went to bed he'd get up worried. He did have quite a few bad ones the first few weeks but they slacked off some but and slacked off a bit for the next several weeks but we had to be prepared cuz he'd start to get them at more unusual times and catch him offgaurd. I dunno how to post without others viewing stuff..someone else mite be able ta answer that one for ya....this is new to me on here as it is. I tried to find a good depression message board 'place' but didn't find anything the other day but I didn't have the time to look to long with it. Take care.....cootie :)

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cerebus1968 on Nov 10^th, 2002, 10:35am

lol.. I've been looking for a good depression and/or anxiety board for a couple of weeks now.. and can't find one worth anything..
So.. i tried some chat rooms.. all anyone wants in there is a "good time".. so I 86'ed the chat idea... ill keep searching, but if any of you find one or know of one.. let me know if ya could !! Thanks
And cootie.. I feel ya girl!! Right there with ya.
I'm new to this whole thing too.. and sometimes I wonder if I am talking too much on this MB... I mean, I found a place that understands... so i just LET IT GO.. ya know?? I know if Ramon reads all this, he's gonna be upset.. and that can't help matters. He KNOWS all of it already.. but the fact that I'm sharing .. well, I don't know how he'll take that.. but like I said.. I just LET IT GO .. oh well.. i guess I'll have to take my chances.
I think I'm getting a little anxiety too.. I'm always checking on him.. worried about him.. asking him how he feels.. is he ok.. does he need anything.. It's driving ME nuts.. I wonder if it's driving him nuts. I've decided that ANYONE learning they have an illness is unsettling and causes a little anxiety.. for those who have it and loved ones too.. i guess this is just something we will have to work thru.. just like everything else. Now I know how he felt when I was really sick ... my turn to be worried about him!!
Thanks guys!!
Tina

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cootie on Nov 10^th, 2002, 11:15am

Hi......Brad gets 'snappy' with me about everything when he is goin thru his cycle and I realize it's cuz of how tense he is with stress of when the next HA will hit and how long will they last this time deal....but I get to feeling picked on...so it goes from there and we've been thru this enuff times and other things that we both handle it. My problem is I take things way to personal and then get down on myself. I don't hear from freinds for a week and think they all hate me or are mad at me.....sheesh.....then Brad has to put up with me mopeing around worryin about EVERYTHING. Vicious cycle I say for us all involved. He's the one that has the 'real' pain.....mines imaginery....ha-ha ! If Brad read all my posts he'd think it was silly or extreme cuz he doesn't email or do much on here let alone 'chit chat'...he prefers the phone...ha-ha ! He thinks it way to cool about this web site tho and I am always tellin him new stuff I learned or read about on here....but he's not a chitty-chat pooter dude so I guess I am safe. I write long posts....I think the long posts are cool....let it all out....ya got alot ta say like I do and it is amazeing how much better it makes me feel ta let it all out and even state things I am doin wrong or how I am feeling like some sort of confessional ;D.....(grin).....it's a relief !! Helps me help "HIM" better !!! Thanks all who care !!! cootie >^..^<

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by Margi on Nov 10^th, 2002, 6:00pm

Holy WOW :o Cootie and Woobie - are you two sisters? LOL you two sure can write!!

I'm sorry, I have to admit, I didn't get through it all (it felt more like an email conversation between the two of you, so I didn't want to intrude), but...woobie (I think it was you, anyways) you asked if there's anyway you can write without your hubby seeing it? Nope - it's ALL there for EVERYONE to read. If you'd like to say something you don't want him to see, you'll need to take it to an email or private message level. I've got no way of barring anyone access to these two boards. Sorry. But, by all means, that doesn't mean you need to shut up - but it really does help finding a supporter buddy (a one on one thing). Ree's my own personal sounding board - I'm sure I drive her crazy with my supporter questions! LOL ;) We bounce ideas/questions/frustrations off each other when we need to have some privacy.

And, yeah, Woobie - you say this is like this for Ramon in or out of cycle. i think there might be anxiety message boards out there - i've never checked though. It sounds like you've got more than just clusters to support. Try typing anxiety and mood disorders into your browser - I bet you find some answers there. Please don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to chase you away - but you've asked a few times about this, I'm just answering you.

I gotta say my hubby will take ANY medication he thinks might stop his pain - he has never been one to read OR care about side effects. So that particular quirk that your hubby has isn't necessarily a cluster thing.

Hang in there, gals. We've all been where you're at.

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cootie on Nov 10^th, 2002, 9:51pm

Ha-ha-ha-ha....I've been called 'gabby' before....I'm not always so vocal tho...I think it goes with my moods and what's goin on and what all I got built up inside and wanna just talk it outa my system..or just talk myself and everyone else silly. (goin gets tough when hubby is goin thru the CH cycle...nice to be able to be on here and talk or listen) Thanks all....we jus had some horrible storms blow thru Ohio and I was honestly scared ____less !!! :o

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cerebus1968 on Nov 11^th, 2002, 8:27am

LOL... yes, I am a windbag also!!! Can't help it.. it just feels good to Let it gooo man. Anyhow... yea.. cootie.. we seem to have a lot in common if'n ya wanna email each other or sumptin!! slea_p_1@hotmail.com
LOL LOL

I kinda figured there wasn't a way to keep him from reading it.. but.. like I said.. He knows it all.. I tell him how I feel.. BELIEVE ME!! LOL.. someone always told me COMMUNICATION was the key!! LMAO!!

So, yes, I know the anxiety and depression is a WHOLE other issue.. for a whole other MB.. LOL.. I just was venting.. sorry to be so long about it!! ;D

I did find one post that talked about what exactly shadows are.. so that was good. Helped a little. Ramon's just so tired, I feel so bad for him.

HappyVeteran's Day!! There's a parade going down my street in about an hour!!

Adios.. and thanks!!

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by Ree on Nov 11^th, 2002, 9:23pm

I think you guys are a riot... and thats what were all here for LOL keep venting... I dont think I can say anything you dont already know if ya need me give a shout...lol Ree

Title: Re: Bittersweet!!!
Post by cootie on Nov 11^th, 2002, 9:39pm

How's everyone in Cluster-eat-a-ville tonite..... :)