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        Supporter's Corner >> Supporter's Corner >> Heres what I think..............
        
(Message started by: Donna on Mar 20^th, 2002, 9:58am)

Title: Heres what I think..............
Post by Donna on Mar 20^th, 2002, 9:58am

This is from an article that appeared on another web site...........I didn't name it and will change it if Kip desires......

The Supporter's Kip Scale

Donna Harlacz describes, "The different stages of a supporter's ordeal when a loved one has clusterheadache."

Kip 1 and 2 - Combination of fear and dismay that loved one is going into a headache. We know it is coming before they give any verbal warning - just look at that eye turn from white to dusty pink to red.

Kip 3 to 6 - Helplessness and sometimes anger when they start getting agitated and talking in a fashion that scares us. Anger is the flip side of fear. When it's over, we do not feel angry anymore.

Kip 7 - Sneaking around as quietly as possible, but not far enough away that we can't peek to see if they are all right. We are now hurting pretty badly ourselves. I guess you can liken it to heartache.

Kip 8 and 9 - Wishing and begging a Higher Power to put an end to this, cursing the Beast, wringing your hands, watching the clock, wondering if it's time to start the car, sweating, nervous stomach, panic.

Kip 10 - Driving to the ER. Wonderment at how much they can endure. Loving them so much. Bitter toward and cursing the fate causing their pain. Counting the days 'til the cycle should end. And finally, relief that his/her pain is gone for now.

I've been on both sides of this fence, having suffered clusters for 28 years and now being a supporter for my 31 year old son.

Many sufferers fear looking weak, sickly, less of a person, unlovable. This is not how supporters see their stricken loved ones. It is a shared (or should be) part of your lives together. No one asks to be stricken with any kind of affliction. It can happen at any time to anyone. Make the most of the good time that you share. Talk openly about your feelings. Do research together and discuss it.

For those of us who suffer these headaches alone - if you are tough enough to have endured your first full-blown clusterheadache, you will make it through the rest. They won't kill you, although you will wish more that once that they had. Sure it gets old, but you've got to have a plan. If you don't have a dream for your future, something to strive for, then you won't have a future.

The next time that you are out of cycle, set a goal for yourself. Plan the steps that it will take to get there. Mark your progress. Give yourself some hope. Life will actually be productive and you will be proud of yourself.

Never forget that WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, ANYDAY, ANYTIME.

Title: Re: Heres what I think..............
Post by notseinfeld on Apr 9^th, 2002, 12:53am

Well said Donna--or well plagiarised--either way thanks for the list, I'm gonna share it.

Title: Re: Heres what I think..............
Post by Margi on Apr 9^th, 2002, 8:55am

That's not plageurism, Not. Donna wrote that and I believe it appears on her own website.

She is an awesome writer and really puts into words well what we go through as supporters.

Donna is perhaps the most unique supporter amongst us because she really has been on both sides of the fence and now her cluster pain is that of watching one of her children go through what she went through for so long.

Donna's a star supporter in my books.

Title: Re: Heres what I think..............
Post by Jayne S. on Apr 9^th, 2002, 8:57am

I second the motion Margi ;D

Title: Re: Heres what I think..............
Post by Darleen on Apr 9^th, 2002, 5:43pm

Ditto to that Margi!!

Darleen :)