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        New Message Board Archives >> Jul-Sep 2003 >> Dear Clusterville,
        
(Message started by: Elaine on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:22pm)

Title: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Elaine on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:22pm

I have been thinking about this for a long time. I have been watching the fights here; I have gotten several emails from different people saying they are leaving the board. Reason range from someone is attacking them publicly or email. Some cause of all the fighting on the board the reasons go on and on. My all time favorite reason is it uses to be a cluster board it isn’t any more.

I have to admit there have been many times I have come to this board open it up and closed it saying! “Does anyone care!!!” Hell if I had wanted to fight I would have stayed with my first husband! I have been in a few fusses here I have to admit. I am ashamed that I did.

I have always missed my friends that have left this place. I have to ask were they really my friend. I never hear from them. There have been many that’s come and gone. Most of them were forgotten when they left after a week or two. Some never forgotten!

What do you guys want, a perfect board? That’s like asking for a perfect world. IT ISN’T GOING TO HAPPEN! Well you say friends are fighting each other. Friends are not fighting each other. REAL FRIENDS would never bring their troubles to the board; they would keep it between themselves, and work it out or dissolve the friendship. It would never come here if they were real friends.

You say but everyone is not a true clusterhead or supporter here! OMG come on people this is the damn internet. You can be who ever you want to be here. Go into any single chat room and there more Doctors, Lawyers, than you can shake a stick at in them. ( I was single for a good six months ;)) Point I am trying to make no way to keep them out. If you haven’t got anything better to do than try to prove they aren’t then guess what you’re just as bad as them. Neither one of you have a life.

I get bad emails! OK don’t read them most emails have blockers or a spam blocker. I just add people who email me crap on my spam list and I never see them. Then there is always the delete button.

I hate reading all the bad post! OK so don’t read them do like me you open it its bad so you close it and you don’t open it again.

Oh but I had to open it they were talking about my friend so I felt like I had to get right in the middle. You know what you did when you did that, you kept it going on. You did not do your friend any favors. Sure you did not want your friend beat up, but by getting in the middle, you kept your friend there and that thread to the top. Don’t get in it. If you do you’re taking sides. Your next on the hit list believe me. Nine times out of ten your friend has made up with the person and now your in the fight ALONE!

This is the most irritating of all! I can’t be your friend because your friends with someone I hate. Hey you know what I am a big girl I can be friends with both. I will not talk to them about you and I don’t expect you to talk to me about them. I can be friends with both. If I stopped being friends, with someone here, because someone else did not like them. I wouldn’t have a single friend. No one would!

When you don’t like someone here. Don’t post under them. You can email them and say look we don’t get along so let’s stay out of each others life. Don’t post under me and I won’t post under you, just stay out of my life. Most will do what you ask.

They come in chat and I can’t chat. Why not do they have a gun on you telling you not to type? Just talk to who you like simple. Just answer who you like simple.

I wish I knew how to make things better here for everyone….but you know what I can’t. I can’t stop all the personal shit here. Most fights are just that personal! You say I just hate so and so. It doesn’t matter what they posted, you’re going to find something wrong with it, if only it’s a misspelled word. You’re letting your anger and hate led you. All
it does is make you look bad.

One last thing. Not one of you is solving a problem by deleting your profile…your just running away from your problem. If you can be happier staying away and it does you good. Then by all means go. If you think leaving the board will make a difference or some kind of statement it won’t. The only way a difference will be made on this board is if each of you stays and learns to agree to disagree. Take what you need and leave the rest. Keep the personal stuff just that personal.

I have been here since April of 1999 and I am here to tell you. I have been guilty of all this. I learned the hard way. I hope to save someone from the same mistakes I have made. I am sure your all like my kids, you will have to learn the hard way. I hope you don’t!

OK I am going back to potty training the kid ! YUCK YUCK YUCK!

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by hopefull on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:29pm

Humbling!!

everybody listening?!!

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by jminmilwaukee on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:34pm

Are you trying to tell me that we are all adults here and this is not Candyland!?!

Agreed with your post, life's a bitch....deal with it.

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by 9erfan on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:38pm

Sounds good to me. Elaine, you always have a way with words. :)

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by cootie on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:38pm

Elaine you are so wise......and so true what you have said !!! I doubt half the hassles here would of started face to face....or gotten as bad......it's kind of a battle of the wit's here ina way too. And yeah...people gotta be careful if they get in the middle of a flame war about takein sides cuz they will end up on the sidea the road flamed and ones hasslein be best of friends....."and it's gonna hurt" !! Seen that happen b-4. A true fight is only fun if yer winning Pam

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Carl_D on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:39pm

Elaine,

Big Big hugs for a lady with a big big heart.
I guess it is like any family; you have the bickering going on that drives you nuts sometimes, but we all need to focus on why we are here and REMEMBER that being here is a privelidge. Without this board, alot of people would suffer alone....I am one of those people. It's been quite awhile since I have talked to you. Hope it is not much longer. You are not just a CH sufferer, you are a termendous supporter.
Again, hoping you can feel a hug and tug your way.

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Roxy on Sep 5^th, 2003, 1:45pm

Elaine...you make many good points. Gonna have to start calling you the wise lady..... ;D

I have thought once or twice about leaving the board, but I have since learned, like you and others, to just ignore the stuff you don't like. There are clusterheads who need help, and to do that.....you need to be here.

Yes, it's the internet, we can't control the people that come here....but those types will eventually leave and hopefully haunt some other board.......but, no matter....there are still clusterheads that need support and information.

Clusterheadaches are a very personal disability afflicting a very small percentage of people. It affects your life, marriage, children, job, etc.....and it's something that you can't hide from people. So it's no wonder that we become very personal on this board. We are a family. You can disagree with family and still care, you can argue with family....and still care.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING....JUST IGNORE IT....BUT PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Tiannia on Sep 5^th, 2003, 2:56pm

This type of thing seems to happen a lot.

It seems to me that it comes down to the simple rule that if you follow it and believe it then you can not find yourself in the bad black place where everyone is out to get me.

Treat other how your would want to be treated.

Due unto others as you would have them to undo you.

In Wicca, we simple follow the 9 fold law. ..
What ever energy you put out, it will come back to you 9 times over. So if you are helping, then that help will come back to you 9 times over. If you are harming, then... You get the idea. If you can live by this idea then you are the one who is truly blessed and you take responsiblity for your actions.

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by CathiP on Sep 5^th, 2003, 3:50pm

So true, Elaine, unhappy people, offended people, people who "shouldn't be here"......people in need......common thread here.....PEOPLE.
Since I'd like to think I'm aging gracefully, I choose not to disclose how LONG...but I can say, for the LONNNGEST time my primary rule in life has been the Golden Rule.....
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
I understand, the nature of the beast causes intense pain...and, in the middle of a hit, it ain't easy to be gentle, kind-spirited and mellow...let alone careful of what is said, out of deference to others....so there must be some big shoulder pads worn at times.......BUT
People are here for HELP- the best kind of help this board has to offer,expertise, experience, understanding, a soft shoulder, a sounding board........why would anyone deny themselves these gifts?
Maybe if the question were NOT "why are you here?"...rather "how can you enhance this board?" it would be a more positive place to interact.
I, for one, have chosen NOT to participate in the flame-fests.....and regardless of how I feel about them, they will continue.....but I won't "feed the fire".
I have met some amazing people here...I will not leave-so, since I wandered here-and THEN got lost.....I figure it is up to me to send only positive reinforcement. This will never be a totally peaceful place, birds chirping, flowers blooming- but there is an amazing humor, a ton of wit, intellect, and a HUGE portion of soul.
I hope everyone remains, and I hope everyone will post with a mind toward how others will receive their posts. If you are thinking to ruin someone's day.....think twice, please....you can see the "trickle down" theory in action here....and the only thing worse than losing another CH'er is the pallor that hangs over this place after that happens.
Elaine, thank you for always providing your very thoughtful, gentle persuasion here...you are obviously someone very special.
LONG LIVE CLUSTEROPOLIS!!!!!!
Cathi

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by judyw on Sep 5^th, 2003, 6:54pm

What more can I say, Lady...oh, yes, keep the coffee on, I am coming home...very soon

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Charlie on Sep 5^th, 2003, 7:23pm

Thanks Elaine. Pretty damn nice.

We've been sloppy. Most of us can put up with a bit of this so long as it's properly aimed at useless medical cranks.

From what I understand though, this took some real inaccurate sleuthing. I don't get it. Even I don't have that kind of time.

Charlie

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Elaine on Sep 5^th, 2003, 11:20pm

I got the coffee on Judy you know my door is always open to you. Let me know when you will be in town.
Love ya lady! :)

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Leesa on Sep 5^th, 2003, 11:38pm

Very wise words from a VERY wise lady!! Thanks for the reminder E. Im guilty too. :-[*hanging head in shame* I've learned the hard way too E! Im doing just what ya told me a long time ago..........take what I need and leave the rest! ;)
Thanks again Lady (in every since of the word) Elaine!!

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by nancyc on Sep 6^th, 2003, 12:28am

Well said, sis...see you in Florida.....the beast is rearing his ugly head again LOL..but that is not gonna stop me from coming..cant wait to see you...smiles,nancyc

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by badfly on Sep 6^th, 2003, 7:50am

When I was a kid in pre-school, I learned this silly little rhyme. "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me."
Folks dont get too ofended here but SHHHEEEZZZZ !!!
This is a board for one of the most painful maladys known to man. Ppl here are not CH sufferers but CH fighters. Slinking off on your own to lick your wounds or be silently indignant is pointless and to be honest for surrenderers. Now dont get me wrong, Im not pointing fingers are chastising anyone (I have alot of respect for alot of the surrenderers), I just think its pre-school stuff. I challange anyone, yeah anyone to try drive me away from here! This is the internet and I cannot be touched. Words are just a Framework for ideas, and ideas are just an opinion.
I say STAY THE COURSE. Ignore what you disagree with and reep the rewards of the rest. This is a great board, and that is only due to the ppl who frequent it. The board is only lessoned when ppl leave, and not when ppl express their opinion/ideas/narrow-mindedness or anything else for that matter.

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Tim_w on Sep 6^th, 2003, 8:08am

Elaine
Wonderful post!! ;D
All I have to Add is life is to short for the bull shit!Great familys like ours dont need it
PF wishs around the room Tim_w

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by Ree on Sep 6^th, 2003, 12:39pm

right E............ wise woman....love ya lady

ps wait til you guys see the pics i have from this celebration.......... love to you ree

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by River_Rat on Sep 6^th, 2003, 2:18pm

This whole thing is just funny to me, I mean if someone leaves because there too thin skinned then SEE YA, c'mon please. Is it just me or what, I mean really, who are you people anyway. I like to think your my friends and that I'm yours. I come here to get help with my cluster headaches and to try and help others if I can. I read what I want reply to what I want ignore what I want and ask what I need to. I don't really know anyone here and if someone calls my mother a stinkin effin whor**. I don't care!! I know she's not.

You can't argue with someone that doesn't argue back and if someone argues back it must just mean they wanna argue.

Love you guys, pfdn

PF LEE

Title: Re: Dear Clusterville,
Post by jonny on Sep 6^th, 2003, 2:28pm

on 09/06/03 at 14:18:00, River_Rat wrote:

TOUCHE'

.....................................jonny