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        New Message Board Archives >> Jul-Sep 2003 >> Need some humor!!
        
(Message started by: hopefull on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 8:17am)

Title: Need some humor!!
Post by hopefull on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 8:17am

Feel'n down anyone have something funny to say?....Make me laugh! PLEASE! or at least smile.. :-/

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by Brian_Y on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 8:34am

You can always do what I do:

I imagine I am a siamese twin (or, for the more politically correct, conjoined).

My twin and I are attached at the shoulder.

He is gay.

I am not.

He has a hot date tonight.

And we share one heiney.

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by taraann on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 9:21am

Brian.....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by Brian_Y on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 9:29am

Thank you, thank you!! I'll be here all week!!

Try the veal!!!

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by Miklos on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 9:39am

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Hazards: There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you’re pretty much doomed.

Futility: You will always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.

Motivation: If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Limitations: Until you spread your wings; you have no idea how far you can walk.

Feel better now?

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by hopefull on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 10:05am

I'm smile'n :)

Thanks Miklos!

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by stevegeebe on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 12:34pm

Three, two letter words that mean "small"?

Answer: is it in?

Steve G

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by hopefull on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 1:00pm

*LOL*.....

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by Charlie on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 2:57pm

Life is backasswards. Turn it around and you’d be born a babbling idiot and when you die, the last feeling you have would be an orgasm.

Charlie

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by hopefull on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 4:03pm

LoL.... :-*

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by KingOfPain on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 10:05pm

http://tinyurl.com/m6a1
Take off!!!

http://tinyurl.com/m6a6
"C" Programmer

http://tinyurl.com/m6a2
Blue Meanie

http://tinyurl.com/m6a9
A card to hand out

http://tinyurl.com/m6aa
Help a guy out

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Will that do?

;D

KingOfPain

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by cootie on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 10:14pm

The Road to Enlightenment - The Teachings of Zen

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path
is narrow. In fact, just fuck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and a flat tire.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going
to steal your neighbor's milk, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile
away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it.

Not sure where I found these.....maybe it was on here ? But either way there worth nuther laugh. Pam that laughs at jus about everything sumdays and sumdays I jus get dam'd pissed at everything ;D ;D ;D ;)

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by Carla_Comiter on Sep 3^rd, 2003, 10:44pm

OK, I only remember 5 jokes and following are 4 of them:

Q: How many real men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Real men don't change lightbulbs, they're not afraid of the dark!

Q: How many real women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Real women don't try to change lightbulbs, they accept them for what they are!

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time and the lightbulb has to be willing to change.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Fish.

As you may imagine, there are many burned out lightbulbs in my house. ::)

Cheer up!

Carla

Title: Re: Need some humor!!
Post by hopefull on Sep 4^th, 2003, 6:36am

LOL..LOL..LOL...

Thanks Guys.....