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        New Message Board Archives >> Jul-Sep 2003 >> Wet Dreams (not CH)
        
(Message started by: Kirk on Aug 31^st, 2003, 1:24am)

Title: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by Kirk on Aug 31^st, 2003, 1:24am

Just imagine yourself cruisin through the Gulf Stream

It was April the forty first
being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
my barracuda was in the shop
so I was in a rented stingray
and it was overheating.
So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it. Okay pal?
While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar
a real dive
But I new the owner
he used to play for the Dolphins
I said "HI GIL"
you have to yell he's hard of herring
Gil was also down on his luck
fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
I bellied up to the sandbar
he poured me the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion
Shaken not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
heavy on the mako
I slipped him a fin
On porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand doller in the box for
Jerries squids
for the halibut
Well the place was crowded
we were packed in like sardines
they were all there to listen to the big band sound of Tommy Dorsal.
What sole
Tommy was rockin' the place with a hot little tiuna
"Salmon Chanted Evening"
The stage was surrounded by groupers
probably there to see the bass player
One of them was a cute little yellowtail
and She was giving Me the eye
so I figured this is my chance for a little fun
You know, piece of Pisces
But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a ............well
She drank a lot
I said "Whats your sign"
She said "Aquarium"
I said "Great lets get tanked"
I invited her up to my place for a midnight bait
I said "Come on baby it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight, I gotta haddock"
and she wasn't kidding either
caause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
he was covered with mussels
he came over to me and said
"Listen, shrimp, don't you be trollin round here"
What a crab
this guy was steamed
I could see the anchor in his eyes
I turned to him and said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well I knew there was going to be trouble and so did Gil
'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
it was a fluke but there he was
lying on the deck, flat as a mackeral
Kelpless
I said "Forget the cods Gil This guys gonna need a sturgeon"
Well the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me and said "Hey big boy you're really a game fish. Whats you're name?"
I said "Marlin"
Well from then on we had a whale of a time
T took her to dinner, I took her to dance
I even bought her a bouquet of flounders
and then I went home with her
and what did I get for my trouble
A case of the clams

Appreciate the mind images it's a holiday folks

My apologies to whoever wrote Sam Spade

TTFN

Stop laughing Hap

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by Mastifflvr28 on Aug 31^st, 2003, 1:42am

Kirk, That is a WHALE of A TALE.

Very guppy of you :)
I know...not very witty, best I could do
Mast

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by Carla_Comiter on Aug 31^st, 2003, 1:54am

Are you just feeding us a line of crappy? Trying to reel us in? When we get in over our heads, will you fish us out? Or will you just watch us flounder?

Sorry, flashbacks to my 20 years in Orlando.

Thanks for the laughs, Kirk!

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by Not4Hire on Aug 31^st, 2003, 8:44am

anybody remember Kirk Douglas...uh, *singin'*:

"Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo..."

(you'll probably have that one in yer head all day....)

;D

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by JDH on Aug 31^st, 2003, 10:28am

and speaking of fish,

A fitful young fisher named Fisher
Once fished for some fish in a fissure,
Till a fish, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in--
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher!

Jim

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by Charlie on Aug 31^st, 2003, 3:55pm

Knocked me off my perch, landed me on my dinghy in a school of blowfish, and after taking the bait, I found a new heading.

Musselhead Charlie ::)

Only the beginning of your punishment for this Kirk 8)

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by cathy on Aug 31^st, 2003, 4:07pm

Thanks for sharing shows your not a shellfish bastad... ;D

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by jonny on Aug 31^st, 2003, 5:05pm

on 08/31/03 at 16:07:37, cathy wrote:

Thanks for sharing shows your not a shellfish bastad... ;D

"Bastard"

..............................jonny ;D

Title: Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
Post by kim on Aug 31^st, 2003, 6:57pm

Finnin at that tale and LOVIN IT! Wowsa took guppy rite outa the pond ;D

Great fish food.

You have no idea how long I've waited for dem bubbles booba!

Yippppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)