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        New Message Board Archives >> Jul-Sep 2003 >> An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
        
(Message started by: SommelierCH on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 9:23am)

Title: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by SommelierCH on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 9:23am

This is an up-date for all of the family who supported me, after my friend’s suicide. This post deals with suicide and if you are in a vulnerable stage, perhaps you should pass on this post, for the time being. This is an intense story, but I pray that someone will find a lesson, somehow, someway, somewhere. I feel like I did.

THE GREAT WAKE OF ‘03

http://tinyurl.com/itue

Seven of us, Gary’s friends from high school (class of ’74) and before, from around the country, gathered 30 miles outside of Las Vegas, New Mexico, the site of Gary’s last project and suicide, to have a closure/memorial service. This also included his estranged mother who had not seen or heard from him for 12 years and the woman who found him, who considered him a dear friend. There were 9 of us.

http://tinyurl.com/ituh

Gary’s last project (taking over 2 ½ months, full time, to complete, he was in kind of a transient phase at this point, we think he sold or gave away all his possessions, before heading to New Mexico) consisted of this Indian Sweat Lodge, made out of intricately woven willow branches, in a perfectly circular geodesic dome (covered in plastic tarp, to seal the Lodge). The path from the fire pit (to heat the rocks for the Sweat Lodge Ceremony) to the Sweat Lodge itself, is in the shape of a question mark, with the period underneath being the fire pit. The stone for this, was hauled by Gary from the back mountain ridges. Some stones are so massive, it took over 2 ½ days for Gary to get each one back down. He didn’t have rock cutting tools, so he had to find rocks that fit his design. The sundial is seen upper left.

http://tinyurl.com/itu

Gary decided that his last day on earth should be the longest day of the year. So the completion of his project coincided with the summer solstice. To mark this day, he made a sundial from a rock spire. Half of the sundial rock is underground, half is above ground. His project was completed the day before the solstice and he seemed happy. The next day (summer solstice) he traced the shadow of the sundial tip, throughout the day, with white rock. At the end of the day, he killed himself.

http://tinyurl.com/itut

We were led through the most incredible healing process, by the woman who lives there, in New Mexico. After many tears were shed by all of us, over the verbal tributes and remembrances, she walked by us with bird feathers she had gathered, attached to prayer ribbons. She asked us to take a feather and ribbon, and tie it to this prayer pole, saying a prayer for Gary as we did it.

http://tinyurl.com/itux

She had three baskets containing “rocks” that Gary had collected from the area. One with pieces of petrified wood, one with uncracked geodes and the third with cracked geodes. She asked us to go through all three baskets and take one rock from each, and hold it dear.

http://tinyurl.com/ituz

She was the fire-tender for the inaugural Indian Sweat Lodge ceremony, that evening.

This woman showed me spiritual strength. True, forgiving, accepting, yet not bending, spiritual strength. What a sad, beautiful thing. Life is so filled with opposites.

David J.

P.S. The seven of us remaining guys, still buddies from high school, formed the “Great Wake Society” and promised that if any of us gets capped, the remaining guys would gather somewhere for a “Great Wake” in that persons honor. I made T-Shirts for Gary’s wake, which we will wear at the next wake. Each wake will have it’s own T-Shirt to be worn at the next wake. The guy at the end, with the most T-Shirts, wins.

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by Prense on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 9:27am

Thanks for sharing that! Very touching indeed.

Chris

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by catlind on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 9:30am

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Thank you

Cat

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by Big_Dan on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 9:55am

Yes, very touching..... thanks...

-Big Dan

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by ShariRae on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 12:33pm

thank you for sharing this...
Shari

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by Edna on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 5:20pm

David J,

Thank you so much for sharing something so touching with us.....a truly amazing story that has captured my heart. :(

EDNA

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by Charlie on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 5:39pm

Thanks.

Nice little story and what a group.

Charlie

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by OneEyeBlind on Aug 2^nd, 2003, 9:07pm

Thanks for sharing.

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by SommelierCH on Aug 3^rd, 2003, 9:09am

In my 47 years on earth, there has never been anyone with whom I could unload my inner most thoughts, like this family. Not parents, my brother, girlfriends, teachers, counselors, best friends, teammates. The Cluster Family is connected, like we are one, by the perfect pain, supporters and sufferers alike; no one else could understand. It’s like we (sufferers) each share a piece of the same brain/mind. Perhaps we should experiment with scientifically sound, telepathy projects, to see if our Cluster (Hypothalamus) Tweaks, are a genetic connection that gives all of us, a propensity to be in each others heads. Way cool.

On top of that, there is a level of intelligence here, far above the general population, signified by your sense of humor. I consider wit and a sense of humor, to be a much greater benchmark for intelligence than the SAT’s. When you combine that with the incredible compassion, which flows so freely here, I, for one, sing, laugh and rejoice that I am part of this ultimate human experience (However, I am out of cycle right now, and able to drink beer).

Now, I wanted to include this picture in my post above, actually I started with this picture, but I thought that it would creep everybody out. But everybody has been so cool that I feel that I can add this last link, and complete my circle for him. He shouldn’t be faceless. You are my family and he was my buddy since the 7th grade. He might have been the most intelligent person that I have ever known.

http://tinyurl.com/iwag

Each of us at the ceremony in New Mexico were given this copy of Gary’s last photograph. His project was completed. She said that Gary was very proud that day, and he was pointing to the sundial (the half underground?). It’s the day before the summer solstice.

“Will the circle be unbroken, bye and bye Lord, bye and bye.”

David J.

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by Georgia on Aug 4^th, 2003, 3:00am

Quote:

So the completion of his project coincided with the summer solstice

Litha (Summer Solstice)
"This is the time of the rose, blossom and thorn, fragrance and blood. Now on this longest day, light triumphs, and yet begins to decline into dark. The Sun King, grown, embraces the Queen of Summer in the love that is death because it is so complete that all dissolves into the single song of ectasy that moves the world. So the Lord of Light dies to Himself, and sets sail across the dark seas of time, searching for the isle of light that is rebirth. " - Starhawk

Quote:

he was pointing to the sundial (the half underground?).

As above, so below.

Peace is with him now.

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by Svenn on Aug 4^th, 2003, 3:58am

Yes, very touching..... thanks...

Svenn

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by Donna on Aug 4^th, 2003, 6:03am

David-

Gary would have been so very pleased with the dignity and beauty you have revealed in this tragic event.

I missed your prior post, so I have no idea what he was trying to accomplish....or did accomplish.

What a beautiful friendship you and your friends have.

I am sorry for your pain, David.

Title: Re: An amazing and spiritual farewell (Not-CH)
Post by vig on Aug 4^th, 2003, 9:18am

The pain evident here is overwhelming...what was the source? What drives people to do this?

-p