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        New Message Board Archives >> Jul-Sep 2003 >> Idiot wind
        
(Message started by: Ted on Jul 29^th, 2003, 11:47pm)

Title: Idiot wind
Post by Ted on Jul 29^th, 2003, 11:47pm

Australian astronomers find 70 sextillion stars in the known universe; "but only one can be the Center Square," says Bruce Vilanche proudly

Texas police finally identify badly decomposed body as Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy; "The fact that the corpse is 6'10" really helped," says spokesman

Study finds that anti-drinking ads don't work; "waking up with a fat chick, however, does seem to have some effect," says researcher

Lufthansa set to acquire Swiss Airline; "We plan on annexing Air France next," warns spokesman

Man receives tongue transplant; man's girlfriend pleasantly surprised to find out the donor was a lesbian

Polar bear turns purple after it takes medication; "I usually only see purple polar bears after I take medication," says wowed Phish fan

Malaysian Muslim men can divorce their wives by leaving messages on their mobile phones; "and with unlimited weekend minutes, you can get rid of an entire harem for just the cost of your monthly service," boasts Verizon spokesman

Scientists link headaches to problems in the mouth; New Jersey man links headaches to problems with wife's mouth

Black bear wanders onto Penn State campus; "I was just looking for a place to shit," explains embarrassed woodland creature

NAACP still seeking meeting with Bush; "I'll meet with them when I'm ready to order," says President, holding a menu

Charlton Heston receives medal from Bush; grateful but ailing actor volunteers to smite President's enemies with plague of locusts

NASA chief Sean O'Keefe promises “dramatic change” in breaking NASA's culture of silence, although he refuses to comment on when this new policy would go into effect.

Former President Ronald Reagan send condolences to the family of Bob Hope: "Thanks for the uh, ah, oh, ugh... With deepest sympathy, Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman ."

Title: Re: Idiot wind
Post by Kirk on Jul 30^th, 2003, 3:11am

And in other news:

Nearly two years in the making Python 2.3 has just been released. The members of Monty Python after whom the programing language was named are pleased.

William H. Gates III president of Micro$oft stated that 5% of all installed Windows systems crashed twice daily. Also that Micro$oft is planning on charging a fee for future Windows updates. In order to further increase the Redmond WA Corporations revenue stream.

Film at Eleven.

TTFN

Title: Re: Idiot wind
Post by JDH on Jul 30^th, 2003, 9:25am

on 07/29/03 at 23:47:24, Ted wrote:

Texas police finally identify badly decomposed body as Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy; "The fact that the corpse is 6'10" really helped," says spokesman

This one cracked me up. At first they weren't sure about the identity!
The dude was 6'10' for christ sake!

Jim

Title: Re: Idiot wind
Post by cootie on Jul 30^th, 2003, 9:42pm

I like the one about the bear........esp after all them 'does a bear shit in the woods' comments I've recieved thru the years ! Pam that has never seen real bear shit ;)

Title: Re: Idiot wind
Post by kim on Jul 30^th, 2003, 9:50pm

IT'S KRUMSKY YA NUMPSHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Title: Re: Idiot wind
Post by jmorgan52 on Jul 31^st, 2003, 8:29am

Black bear finishes his shit and spots a white rabbit. He asks him if shit sticks to his fur. Rabbit says no, so bear uses him to wipe his arse.

Title: Re: Idiot wind
Post by Ree on Jul 31^st, 2003, 8:34am

I LIKE WHEN YOU CALL THEM TEDLINES... REE THAT REFUSES TO SHUT OFF HER CAPS LOCK HI SUZY.......LOL REE