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Title: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Nathan on May 16th, 2003, 6:44pm in very few people neurontin makes men's libido low, making it not impossible to mantain an erection but difficult and almost impossible to ejaculate. this makes it difficult for the mans wife. so despite the fact that the neurontin almost completely takes aways the chs, should the man get off the med to keep his wife happy and keep her period? then of course the man can have sex again with out putting his wife through pain but only when he is feeling well enough and pain free himself. top all of that with the fact the man cant work, cant support his family as he should because he is cronic, cant partake in family (or any other) activities, does suicide seem like such a cowardly way out or simply a means to an end? he is out of pain, the wife can move on to find a man that doesnt have to take 3 hours to have sex because of his medication and can actually enjoy life with her and there is just more oxygen to breathe on the planet in general. any ideas people? |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Ted on May 16th, 2003, 7:06pm Wow! Man, heavy post and definitely from your heart. Stay on Neurotonin and as painfree as possible. More importantly, stay in this realm and don't take your life. What about throwing some Viagara in with your meds? I don't know if it's contraindicated with Neurotonin but it's worth looking into. Is it worth killing yourself over? Something to think about. How did you feel when you first met your wife? Or when she said yes to your wedding proposal? Nothing like you're feeling now I'll bet. Well, all things in the universe are impermanent and in flux. Those wonderful feelings are as fleeting as an ocean wave. BUt, you must learn from that. Right now the feelings are the complete opposite and are merely another wave in the ocean. Once you ride it out you'll catch more good waves. Sure more bad ones too, but many more good ones. Keep talking to us. If you fall off your surfboard swim on over to mine and I'll help get you to shore. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by 9erfan on May 16th, 2003, 7:26pm Nathan, Whatever you do, don't make it the suicide option. Your family loves & needs you. Have you consulted with your Dr regarding the libido problem? Maybe there is something he can give you to offset that particular side effect. I would stick with the neurontin if it's helping you. When you're having the clusters, do you really feel like having sex anyway? Last thing, I believe it was JimR who was also having libido problems a few months back as a result of meds he was taking. You may want to send him a msg to find out what he did about it. Stay with us. And post over on the "general" section. Keep us updated on what the Dr's say. Wishing you some relief from the madness! Take care of yourself, Virginia |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by cathy on May 16th, 2003, 7:30pm Nathan...you think your wife would be happy if she knew you killed yourself because you couldn't have sex with here.... ??? ??? :'( If your wife loves you as much as I love my husband who also suffers, then Im tellin you now, she would be horrified, I would!! To be honest I don't even know you and it makes me sad just to think about it....I can't do anything to take your pain away, but I can share it with you..... :'( :'( Stay on the medication, if your wife loves you it won't make a difference. Sending you PF vibes hang in there, things always have a way of turning out right. Cathy |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by jonny on May 16th, 2003, 7:40pm Dude, get over it.....your dick aint your life!!! Try being me, a wife that refuses to have sex for the last 7 years........that is a hurt, Bro!! You punk out and kill yourself I will personally come dig you up and have ass play with you. You logged on to this board and that means we can do whatever we want with you if you whimp out like a p-ussy MF'er. Your a damn clusterhead......act like one damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..................................jonny |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by kim on May 16th, 2003, 7:46pm Nathan, you are in the right place, stay and take the help and comfort you need from here. I was on Neurontin last cycle. I had similar side effects. If it is successful in preventing the clusters, I'd say stick it out for now and talk to the doc and tell what's going on. Perhaps the doc will be able to offer something to help out with the side effects. Please! See the doc and talk about it with him/her. Gotta put one foot in front of the other. Don't give up!!!!! Be patient with YOURSELF. There will be good times and bad, but just HANG IN!!! Try not to beat yourself up and try and talk to your wife when you are pf and calm. You will get through it. Well wishes********Kim |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Linda_Howell on May 16th, 2003, 8:12pm Nathan, Please go to the "general" part of this board so we can all try to help you. Ted posted about you but many don't go here. We want to help. Suicide is an easy answer to a temporary problem, so don't be sucked into it's deception. We are all here to help in any way we can Nathan. Most days we are a family here and really want to see you through this bad part in your life........notice I said, a bad part of your life. Nothing is forever, except giving up. Now get your ass over to the other board. lol LindaH |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Not4Hire on May 16th, 2003, 8:40pm ..nathan.....i'll post this here and *there*.... ya put out your hand for help by coming to this board... take the *answering hand*.... ...we care about you, but not as much as your REAL family: your wife/children/parents/friends.... i'm a victim of suicide, and the memory of you *dead* is way worse than any *living* feeling that you may have- that you are not valuable.... ...and *shipo*..... i fer one am glad to see yer still smokin' *rollies*....... them things'll KILL ya..... ..and you too *kirk*..... stay outta the shipping lanes ya crazy..... best....Steve(N4H) |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Marc on May 16th, 2003, 8:59pm Nathan, I'm chronic too (as well as some of the folks who have already answered) and I understand what you're saying. Side effects of the drugs DO subside after awhile. Hang in there! Marc |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by OneEyeBlind on May 16th, 2003, 9:08pm Hey Nathan, take a deep breath and stay on your meds. If your wife loves you it probably isn't even as big a deal as you think it is that you don't/can't have sex. Talk to her about it, you might be surprised. There is a lot more to a relationship than sex and having you healthy, pain free and ALIVE is more important. You might want to get your testosterine level checked and if it's low .. they have patches for that. There is lots of different stuff out there that can help. Smile, and know we are are pulling for you !!!!!!!! |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Charlie on May 16th, 2003, 9:23pm Thanks Ted. Nathan: You came here so you're doing a lot better than you think. If you think your wife is uncomfortable now, remember that suicide is as selfish as it gets. It ruins the lives of families and those left behind. Stick around. Charlie |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Roxy on May 16th, 2003, 11:50pm Nathan, please stay with us, and please keep posting. That you are writing about what is bothering you, I hope, is a sign that you are reaching out for help and advice. Just talk to your wife, tell her everything that is weighing on you, and everything you are afraid might happen in the future. This is a problem that you can work on and find a solution to together, don't exclude her from helping. She might totally surprise you with her response. Marriage is based on a whole lot more than just sex, don't short change her feelings for you by thinking they would change just because of a medical side effect. Concentrate on staying PF. If the meds do that for you, the work, family activities and life in general will resolve themselves in time. Yes, waiting out that time can be rough, but clusterheads are tough, and you can be tough enough to make it down this road. As was said above, talk to your Dr. about Viagra, it might be the solution you are looking for. Just hang in there with us.....we will all try to help you through this. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by vaughan on May 17th, 2003, 12:28am Nathan dont be such a chump :o.Someboby else referred to Viagra-get on it and your wife wont want to get off it!!! ;). I am on Lithium and ch free now for 4 months :-X. You will find the right answer on this site. Vaughan ;D |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Karla on May 17th, 2003, 6:25am Nathan Pick up the phone and call me you have my number. I am here for ya. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by cbolony on May 17th, 2003, 7:45am Nathan hang in there suicide is not the answer because you can't have sex.Things will work out for you and your wife.A lot of people want to help you on this board.The first thing is to stay PF. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Kenzie60 on May 17th, 2003, 8:36am Nathan, your wife needs you. Don't let the headaches take over your life. Talk to your doc. Talk to your wife. She will listen. Talk to us, that is why we are here. Roseanne |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Margi on May 17th, 2003, 10:14am Hey Nathan? Do you notice a common feeling in the posts from the women in this thread? We're ALL saying that your wife isn't thinking this is as big a deal as you are....it's SO much more important to her that you stay here with her, than how you're able to perform. If it makes YOU feel better (and if it's safe - ask your doc!!), get some Viagra. But ask your wife what her thoughts are on this. I'm betting she's more worried about you staying pain free, than the quality of your sex life these days. Pain freedom is quality of life, Nathan. The rest will come later (you should pardon pun and the spelling error :-[). Quit thinking with your pants, honey - there's so much more to live for!! And....I gotta say it, why not switch meds? There are other meds out there, i.e. the verapamil/lithium combination, that don't cause those side effects. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by oringkid on May 17th, 2003, 12:33pm Everyone has given you good advice above. Thoughts of suicide is extreme frustration and fatigue talking. Ignore those thoughts. Sex, at it's finest does not have to begin,end or revolve around an erect penis. There are many different and pleasurable things that two people who love each other can do. I think you should check into either a new med combo or ways to alleviate this side effect..BUT, in the mean time, this could be a perfect opportunity to explore sensuality. Concentrate on her pleasure, explore different things! Remember, "Jake no shoulders" is not the only tool you have! Take this opportunity to expand and enrich your sex life. People don't have to climax to feel exquisite pleasure. Turn your disadvantage to an advantage! Your wife will love you even more for it! Sherry |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by _Binger on May 17th, 2003, 1:24pm Mushrooms, Mushrooms, Mushrooms!!!! ;D Remember, once psylocibin (psychedelic mushrooms) has entered the blood stream they can not tell the difference between it and serotonin---where as Imitrex is a serotonin agonist, tricking your body into producing more serotonin. (Hold on, I'm getting to the sex part) Psylocibin has no known toxic dosage (can you say that about imitrex?) Anyways, many people find one or two light dose of the mushy's will stop the clusters for months at a time---enabling them to stop the fucked up drugs with unlivable side effects (no sex) Another important thing to remember---Most of the drugs used to stop a cluster when you are in the middle of one are all derivatives of hallucinogens, they just tweak with them until it's not quite noticeable or puts you in a daze enough so you don't notice. Small amounts of yohimbe have helped my clusters at times and larger amounts (just the recomended dosage) tend to give you quite the erection and libido increase, that's what it is usually used for. Hell with viagra, there are all natural versions that work just as well and have been tried and tested over many many years. Above everything else though, I recomend the mushrooms, with a little bit of skullcap tea (a green herb, tastes very much like green tea) before hand. This will relax you and take away any tension and anxiety you have over eating the psychadelics. (Yes, all of this has been tried by quite a few people) I encourage you to look through the internet and research these things yourself. The way I figure it, is if your ready for suicide, you might as well try the drugs first. Remember, there are many, many people pulling for you and understand what you are going through---We send our love and compassion (Had to throw in some of the Hippy Care Bear B.S.) and I truly hope something in this rambling has helped. Good luck!! Binger |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by ave on May 18th, 2003, 10:00am I should be very, very wary, before loading either viagra or mushrooms on top of the neurontin! I use mushrooms myself, but as Margi says, one has to be medication free before trying. And Viagra... it is not a miracle drug, it only works for specific erection disorders and besides, it is possible that Viagra would demolish what neurontin is trying to achieve. And 'nother thing, there are a great many things you can do to make your wife happy in the sensual way, other than YOU having an erection and YOU climaxing. Has she actually told you that it bothers her? It is probably what YOU think that She will think, that makes you so despondent, apart from the influence from the drug itself, of course. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Ree on May 19th, 2003, 8:30pm We go through the same stuff as you Nathan... it doesnt make life easy, but I dont think your wife married you for sex alone. There are no guarantees in this life. Two people get married for better for worse... if you are eposodic there will come a time again when you can go off the Neurontin. I would gladly give up sex totally if Dave could get rid of this condition forever... Take care email us if you want we have been through this same problem ten fold... good luck... ree my email isree16angel@aol.com ps I never come over to the meds board there is a whole new group of people here wow... |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Elaine on May 20th, 2003, 5:58pm This is serious post so please take it that way! As a woman sex is not the ONLY thing in life. There is all kinds of things you can do if sex is what you want hell they have a thing called a cock ring! If you can't mix vigra your meds you could get one of these. You can get them at any head shop or off the net. There are other things just surf the net! What is a cock ring? A cock ring is an object that typically goes around the base of both the penis and scrotum. Since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, this has the effect of allowing blood to flow into the penis but restricts its ability to flow outwards. In turn, this makes the penis get hard and stay hard for longer. Obviously, for this to work a cock ring must be put on when the penis is not erect. It is not worth killing yourself when they have so many things that can help. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Turts on May 21st, 2003, 7:17am Nathan dude, Suicide is not cowardly, yet it is still not an answer, its a detour to a "No through road". As with everyone else, I would stay with the meds. Even if they dont allow regular or intense involvement in other family activities, its still more the the alternative of "trying to crash through the Pearly gates without an invite." Talk with your wife and let her know that it is a side effectof the drugs, and not a reflection of the love for her or your relationship together. Maybe even get inventive in the bedrrom/laundry/movie theatre. Above all else stay positive, and "By actions shown or words you say, love your family every day." Wishing you PFDAN's (thats my first PFD). Thoughts are truly with you Nathan. |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by CJohnson on May 21st, 2003, 2:22pm Low levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain may point to an increased risk for suicide. Waldenlind et al, (1985) found low whole blood serotonin levels among cluster patients both during an active bout and during remissions. Connection? PFDANs -Curtis |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by catlind on May 23rd, 2003, 1:48pm Nathan, You have reached out for help. That's a very big step. Listen to all the advice you have been given. There is a post in these halls of clusterville from a lady named little2late. http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=general;action=display;num=1050189261;start= Read that thread and see first hand what suicide will leave your wife with. Your love for your wife doesn't stop because you are on medication that interferes with the act of making love. Sex is not making love. Your wife, and you, can sit down and discuss what other options you can try to maintain that closeness with each other. Intercourse is not the only means of showing someone intimacy and love. You can try other medications, you can talk to your doctor about the side effects, you and your wife can go to counselling and get help to overcome this hurdle in your relationship. Whatever you decide, as a clusterhead, you are tougher than most. You CAN get through this, and you will. Suicide is NOT the solution. We all have been there, for many different reasons. Please do not quit. You have found a home with family members that know your troubles and your pain. Lean on us, and we will help you. Just don't give up. You owe YOURSELF more than that. Email me if you want to talk. catlind@twcny.rr.com Cat |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by cootie on May 23rd, 2003, 3:14pm Nathan if what your takeing works stay with it......you won't be much better without it if it works and try and be functional so you should stick with your plan and try and be as PF as you can.....kind of a catch 22 I know here. I do believe sum of the meds can cause depression and do cause low libido....your wife needs to understand what is goin on. Rather have a functional happy hubby then one in pain with a woodie. Hang tough dude.....if yer PF stay that way don't change a thing !! Pam that hopes only the best for you ! |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Wendy the Brit on May 23rd, 2003, 4:44pm Hello Nathan I agree with Sherry. Sorry to be explicit here but I am posting this rather than sending a private email as I am certain there are other people out there with the same problem as you Nathan. My husband and I were unable to have penetrative sex for a while due to a medical problem. What we did was do everything but, and lots of it. It involved loads of cuddling, massage, baths, oils, foreplay, stroking, tickling etc etc etc. All I can say from the woman's point of view is that it was wonderful. We were closer than we have ever been, we talked more, there was no pressure to 'perform' and it was sexually very exciting and pleasurable. My husband felt the same way. If you asked most women, and they answered honestly, they would say that erect penises are not necessary for wonderful sex, and that they enjoy the caresses and playing often more. Please don't despair Nathan. If at all possible, try and talk all this through explicitly with your wife. Don't leave it at a one line conversation ending with her saying "It doesn't matter to me"., because I would guess you wouldn't believe her. You obviously love her, so tell her how you feel, and I think you will be surprised and happy with what happens Love to you from "over the pond" Wendy the Brit |
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Title: Re: neurontin vs sex, vs suicide Post by Nathan on May 27th, 2003, 5:39pm just wondering.... did anyone read my post on the general post board? if not, please do, it might clear up alot and put alot of minds at ease. _still kickin (and bangin my head against the wall) ---Nathan |
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