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        New Message Board Archives >> Jan-Mar 2004 >> Am I just too weak?
        
(Message started by: painfulbrain on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:15pm)

Title: Am I just too weak?
Post by painfulbrain on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:15pm

I had small episodes for two days, until finally the
worst happened. It is so bad at times I just want to put
a hole in my head and let it out! I don't think I can
handle it at times. I get so much anxiety about having
an attack, that I think I work myself into one.
Am I too weak, whimpy or is it really that bad. I don't
trust my emotions. Eatin' opiates ain't helping none.

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Rock_Lobster on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:24pm

Nope. I am 'allergic to pain' as well, you could say. I hate the fuckin shit.

Abort them. First sign of the ouchies and I either pop the Imitrex tablet or have the needle going in my arm.

The hydrocodone does -zip- for me. Back when I did not know any better I used to eat them like Pez. Then I feel like a truck hit me the next day. Just told the doc to -not- refill my script for them.

Rock

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by miapet on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:40pm

they suck.
what are you using/doing to abort? there are various abortives (o2 works really well for D), maybe it's time to try something (or something new)?
*positive energy and light* miapet

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by painfulbrain on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:48pm

An abortive????
I will pop any thing I can find if I think It will help.
I am kinda' un-informed. My doctor tells me nothing.
I have no success with abortives, preventives or anything else. I do not have enough information.
18 years of this hell just trying to survive. I need
somebody to tell me something.

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Kevin_M on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:48pm

Nah, what's this, one of your first bouts?

Finding out what we're here for?
When you first experience them at their worst it's unf*ckinbelievable!
Perhaps a kneejerk reaction is the painkillers just to do something. Don't work do they?

(quote)
Am I too weak, whimpy or is it really that bad. I don't
trust my emotions.

Hey, we all get on our knees, on the ground, rolling, pleading. Makes ya think, what can I do about this.
Gotta do something, you'll have to. It takes you beyond pain tolerance. Is it really that bad? You tell me.

See another doc because it's relentless and hell don't scare me anymore.

Is it really that bad? [smiley=duh.gif] See another doc.

Welcome, we got an oar for you.

Kevin M

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by FZfan on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:57pm

painful brain, read, read, read! Even if it hurts. Read all the info available at the buttons to the left. Take the cluster quiz.

Read about oxygen. Read about the meds. Go to the OUCH web site and get more info. print it out and take it to your doctor. If you get nowhere with him, seek another doctor, preferably a neuro with headache experience, but any doc who is open-minded to working with a cluster patient armed with the latest information available.

Have you been diagnosed with clusters? I couldn't tell from your post.

If you have been diagnosed, definitely check out o2 for an abortive. Even if you've used it before. Read up on it and make sure you are using it correctly with the right equipment.

Sorry you had to find you're way here. Don't feel bad about feeling weak and helpless. Most, if not all of us have been there. There is a lot of support available here. Don't worry. You will survive this.

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Kevin_M on Mar 25^th, 2004, 10:57pm

18 years?

No meds seem to work all the time, but prevents and aborts is all we got. If it's clusters, go back and give 'um another chance.

Not enough info.

Kevin M

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Superpain on Mar 25^th, 2004, 11:44pm

Everyone is weak at some point.
Even the strongest chronics I suspect have troubles handling it sometimes.

It IS that bad.

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Callico_Kid on Mar 26^th, 2004, 12:29am

IMHO dump the opiates. They do not work for CH at all, and from my experience actually make them worse. If you take enough to mask the pain for a time it does so without stopping the HA, just dulls it, but the rebound from taking that much just compounds matters. Then to, you have to deal with the addiction problem.

No you are not weak. If you have CH and have had it for 18 years you defo aren't weak. Sure, when you are on the floor crying you feel like it, but no one can have these things and survive without becoming tough.

As others have said, read all of the info you can. Print out whatever you think is helpful and take it to your Dr. If your Dr. is any good he will read the material and work with you based on it. Understand that as much as we sometimes feel that the medical community is totally lacking it where CH is concerned we make up a very small segment of society. Most Drs will never treat a CH patient. If he will not take the time to learn and to work with you get to another IMMEDIATELY! There is nothing that will stop these things, at least not legally or lethally, but there are things that will help. There is no point in suffering more than you must.

Post again with more detail as to your symptoms, frequency, and what you have tried for meds in the past.

Wishing you PF
Jerry

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Kevin_M on Mar 26^th, 2004, 12:33am

Recommendations? It comes out to be to each their own journey. But 18 years and grasping at opiates -- reach outside yourself. Recently diagnosed? Keep plodding. Moral support you got, you got to take care of a personal responsibility that comes with this.

I'm going on eight years and still ain't got it right for myself. Heading in the right direction though since coming back here . Slapped together two pain free days in a row now last two days. First since October. New doc has helped, but this cycle is waning. Takes work and precise communication with the right doc. The two days makes it all worth it.

Get interested in what has been compiled here, but you got to get started on a good relationship with a real doc. The right meds in the right dose takes working on it.

The pain make one desperate. The direction to reach is learning you are not alone in the pain but then again you are alone to do something about it. The world of clusters is here. Scripts come from the doc though. Keep working with one you can trust, that may not be easy but not impossible to find. Us you can trust.

Know what it's like, hope you awaken, they only go away when they damn well feel like it, not when you wish them too. So get the right ammo to fight with.

Kevin M

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Tiannia on Mar 26^th, 2004, 1:35am

You are not to weak. Get a new doc that with talk with you not just at you. Read everything you and can ask questions. The worse you will get is a flaming similar to "what the f*ck are you talking about?" No big deal. :P

Also talk toyour doc about the anxiety. You might be right and making it worse on yourself in between the CH'es. There are a lot of clusterheads that take stuff for the anxiaty, so you are not alone.

We are here, there is always someone on line. Hell I just am winding down from my early nightly visit form the beast, got 5 hours before my 3am wake up call.

Stay strong.
PF Wishes to you, my friend.

-Tiannia

EDIT: ok what I was tryingt o type was ask questions and read everything you can. Obviously I am still fubared from my last HA.

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by sandie99 on Mar 26^th, 2004, 5:33am

Painfulbrain,

you are not weak. It takes awful lot to deal with this devil we all know too well. I know very well that feeling that you feel you don't want to go on. But then there are those wonderful moments without the pain...

I know that sometimes it is the CHs with low KIP scale that make you feel worse than CHs which are high in KIP scale. (They make me more aggressive & restless).

CH takes a lot of stregth. We all deal with pain differently. I know loads of people who couldn't take even one CH...

I wish you PF days,
sandie99
(this cycle started in October...)

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by Charlie on Mar 26^th, 2004, 5:37am

Nope. You are not weak. We have all gone through this horror and being terrified of things like sleep, getting hit in public and not being able to explain ourselves. It's all part of the horror of CH. It's unlike anything.

Here is something that worked for me and some others:

http://www.netsync.net/~charlies/

I hope you have some luck with it.

You're doing fine.

Charlie

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by juvy on Mar 26^th, 2004, 5:41am

You're not weak, your just in pain, which tends to make one frustrated among other things.

Hang in there. Vibes on the way.

Juvy

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by thomas on Mar 26^th, 2004, 8:44am

on 03/25/04 at 22:15:42, painfulbrain wrote:

It is so bad at times I just want to put
a hole in my head and let it out! I don't think I can
handle it at times.

Trust me, we have all felt this way at one time or another. See if you can get some O2, or imitrex or zomig or amerge, one of these four things should help abort. Find the one(s) that work for you and THEN, work on a preventive strategy.

Title: Re: Am I just too weak?
Post by cootie on Mar 26^th, 2004, 2:48pm

Ya know I know lill bout the opiates for other stuff and in my expirience I would think for you guys with CH all they would do for you is numb up 'your body' so you can feel your head with the maximun of intense pain......and not miss a beat.......seems they'd sorta prepare you for one hell of a ride !! There's alot of people on here from yer area.......am sure when they see this they will be able to advise you of a better doc to get more professional HELP !! Goin to the convention ?? You'd sure get a learning expirience you'd never forget !!! Pam that's no expert but see's ch from a supporters minds eye