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        New Message Board Archives >> Jan-Mar 2004 >> Great Suffering and the Aftermath
        
(Message started by: Brian_Y on Feb 13^th, 2004, 4:44pm)

Title: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Brian_Y on Feb 13^th, 2004, 4:44pm

I got to thinking about something today. A couple of months ago, I watched a documentary on HBO about the Boston Red Sox called “The Curse of the Bambino”. It was, ostensibly, a close up view of the actions, reactions, events, et al, surrounding the fact that the Red Sox have not won a World Series since 1918, or, more to the point, the year they traded Babe Ruth away to the New York Yankees. In that time, of course, the Yankees have amassed a slew of championships and built a legacy unmatched in that sport.

One of the New England journalists with whom they were speaking wondered about something. What if the Red Sox DID win? I mean, eventually won this elusive Holy Grail? That is to say, they have considered themselves a special breed, these Red Sox fans (I am one of their ranks as you all know). The puritanical self-suffering. The weeping and gnashing of teeth and the injustice. The unmitigated hatred toward another team (The Yankees) on whom they base this perfect series of losing since the early part of the 20th Century… He pointed out that if they won, the party would be unparalleled in Mass. And New England in general. There would be fires and drinking and revelry.

But when they woke up the next day and the hangovers were over, would they ask themselves this: “Now what do I do? I’m just like everyone else”.

So my mind has begun turning.

If a cure (not a stop-gap measure, but a real, live cure) for Cluster Headaches were discovered, what would you do? I fear that it is a defining characteristic for some at times. It is who a person may be. It is consuming.

But if that went away and you were relegated to the majority once again, I ask this in all seriousness: What would you do?

Think about this objectively. I will be incredulous if you say “Yay, I can now go on with my life”. I need some validation.

Thoughts?

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by bobkip on Feb 13^th, 2004, 5:00pm

What would I do? I would wish the hell they had found it 50 years ago.
Kip

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by t_h_b on Feb 13^th, 2004, 6:31pm

Some people do define themselves by their suffering or their problems. It's hard not to do so (at least partially) when you experience a recurring problem over a long period of time. However, I would gladly give up this suffering and would be content to be an ex-sufferer.

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Mac on Feb 13^th, 2004, 6:42pm

I've been suffering for only 4 years now(chronic) so I haven't gotten attached to the Beast. I wish it would fuck off and leave me alone. I have my own identity that has nothing to do with clusters. I will not be defined by my malady and hope others won't either. All clusters do is put a cramp in my style and a crimp in my wallet.

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by cathy on Feb 13^th, 2004, 6:50pm

we'd all be ex-pillochs...wouldn't we..?

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Kevin_M on Feb 13^th, 2004, 7:29pm

on 02/13/04 at 16:44:13, Brian_Y wrote:

I fear that it is a defining characteristic for some at times. It is who a person may be. It is consuming.

But if that went away and you were relegated to the majority once again, I ask this in all seriousness: What would you do?Thoughts?

Well, I have other defining characterictics which also define me. Without the clusters, I would be able to put more time into those other definitions. Such as more time for relationships.
I love my little nieces and nephew and would wish to see them more but clusters have kept me from that valuable time in their lives I wanted to be more of.
Blah blah blah about relationships, that goes on in all directions.
Most of us have hobbies, practice forms of art, spend time reading, going to school... in other words trying hard in everyday life TO define ourselves in other ways.
Without clusters perhaps, more time would avail itself to us for these endeavors.
Though we may have all not met, even if a "cure" comes tomorrow, I am sure we would keep some form of nebulous togetherness somehow anyway.
Through this, we have really pulled for each other, shown character in the face of utter desperation, extolled others, and seen a part of ourselves me may have never have seen otherwise.
Clusters, though a defining part of myself, can exit my life,never exacting a toll, never be missed.
It does make me more value time PF more.
It is the people I have met in the face of crushing adversity, who have held my head in their arms with their words when this affliction threw it on the ground and against walls. THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET.
THAT defining part of my life nurtured a vision beyond the constraints that present experience and time may suppress.
The people here have taught me to be INNER AND OTHER INSPIRED.
Yes, to be defined by clusters is an aspect people here have taught me how to deal with, but with creativity, empathy, knowledge, strength and character. Though to not be defined by them, and that is not now, and as long as I will have to, I need the "cellophane flowers of yellow and green, towering over your head". The Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, this board can be to one's life.
I try not to define myself by clusters, but if it should end tomorrow, I would surely miss the friends in the face of despair. And if it did end tomorrow, I would certainly know where I went on knees, leaned on the broad shoulders of this community, and was able to walk away. If I could walk away from clusters I would, but I know I may not have seen that day, not without
this defining aspect of life making me, molding me, into what I feel is a better person.

sorry lengthy,

Kevin M

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Brian_Y on Feb 13^th, 2004, 7:51pm

on 02/13/04 at 19:29:33, Kevin_M wrote:

Kevin_M's Whole Post

This is an interesting answer. And along the lines of what I was "looking for" (not that there is a right or wrong answer, of course).

I am curious as to what others think.

Put your REAL thinking caps on, people...

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Jayne on Feb 13^th, 2004, 9:16pm

well I do know that clusterheadaches have definatley crippled my wandering spirit that I used to have. Before clusters, I sang professionally all over the world. Japan, Greece, Cyprus, Finland, Sweden and even Russia. That was my vow to my life...that I would live and work in as many different countries as I could and experience different cultures. That is why I came to America..6 months later the beast arrived. Now he fills me with fear to travel and sing. I need to be stable, to have a good doctor and to take care of myself.
So now I do a job that I hate..(just to make the $) to pay for my insurance and to get my medicine.
If the clusters were gone forever...you would never see a girl pack her bags and sell her belongings so quick.
I would again embrace the world and all it's wonders and dare to jump into the unknown.
How many times have I thought that at work, when a customer wants me to measure the base of a candle to see if it will fit on thier holder........I look out the window and remember all the wonderful times before CLUSTERS.
The one thing I would do is beg Deej to build an...
www.exclusterheadaches.com so we could all still shoot the $hit
So basically I would grab life by the balls again, instead of suffocaiting in it's taint.
Jayne

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Cerberus on Feb 14^th, 2004, 1:12am

VERY INTERESTING POST !!!

Brian,
In the spirit of comparison (such as you initiated citing the Red-Sox anomaly)

"I would have a complete blood transfusion and..."

become a "CUBS FAN"!!!! ;;D ;;D ;;D

GO WHITE SOX!
Ramon

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Mr.Happy on Feb 14^th, 2004, 1:29am

on 02/13/04 at 21:16:45, Jayne wrote:

I would grab life by the balls again, instead of suffocaiting in it's taint.

Glad you sed it that way. Woulda cost me a testicle just to express it in those terms. Taint. Heh.

There's always more STUFF........
RJ

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Cerberus on Feb 14^th, 2004, 1:43am

After getting into the Guiness Book of world Records for: the worlds largest joint ever smoked.........

I would say Duh! alot and (what was I gonna say?) Oh yeah, I dunno...really. That's a damn good question. How about open a national chain of road side bed and breakfasts catering specifically to deposed clusterheads in transit while visiting each other. Why? Do ya have the cure? Cause I don't have the capital for that. :D

But I HATE the Idea that I would never have a reason to be in touch with ALL of you anymore in any way. With or without CH. :(

I'll hafta do some real soul searching on this one B.
Ramon

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by randal on Feb 14^th, 2004, 6:17am

What would I do without the beast around------SLEEEEEPPPPPPPP yea SLEEEEEPPPPPP
Take care you crazy wonderful people [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Wifeofchman on Feb 14^th, 2004, 7:34am

One word; Rejoice!!!!

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by don on Feb 14^th, 2004, 8:31am

Being a sox fan and CH sufferer I belive I am qualified to answer this question.

After winning the big game (series and cure), I would roll my neighbors car over, light some fires (on someone elses street), go lootin (in another neighborhood), get naked with someones sister,come home drunk and watch a replay on the new 52" palsma TV I just looted. Then the next day I would;

Go to work, be with my family, talk with my neighbor (damn college kids these days eh?)go on vacation, do some striper fishing, hit the casino, etc. etc. etc.

In other words my life would continue as it does everyday except without the additional fears of CH.

Wait till next year!

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by kim on Feb 14^th, 2004, 12:56pm

Being a Yankee fan has no effect whatsoever on my eddaches.....a win is a win - but how the game was played lingers in history... Carry on. Bizness as usual 8)

One thing i'd never be able to put behind me is the folks i met here. Cure or no, the people i found here have sewn themselves into my heart - a pennant tacked on the wall of my soul - sumpin i finally got that i'll always treasure. :)

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Elaine on Feb 16^th, 2004, 5:34pm

I would spend a month sleeping then I would start living. Lord I miss sleep !

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Kirk on Feb 16^th, 2004, 7:24pm

First I would sleep for four days or so.
Then maybe a little King Crab fishing out of Dutch Harbor. Or perhap Reds in Bristol Bay. Haven't been to Naknek, Kvichat ot Eggigik in years. Albacore in the South Pacific perhaps.
Serial fish Killing would definitely be in order anyway.
Sure would make a change from being beached.

TTFN

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by stevegeebe on Feb 16^th, 2004, 8:06pm

What would I do?

I would take it and rejoice in the fact that this horrible episode was behind me. No longer would I have to watch my wife suffer along with me. No more zombie me.

I would go on with my life and pray that I would not forget what it was like so I would not take the simple pain free existance for granted.

I would try to keep in touch with what to me has become the greatest group of people anyone could ever meet.

CH is a part of me but it does not define me. It has however made me a better person in many ways. Strange?

Steve G

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by thomas on Feb 16^th, 2004, 8:30pm

on 02/16/04 at 20:06:25, stevegeebe wrote:

Been waitin for you to sum it up, steve, 'cause I agree with you bud, cheers..........

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by BlueMeanie on Feb 16^th, 2004, 9:20pm

on 02/14/04 at 08:31:02, don wrote:

Being a sox fan and CH sufferer I belive I am qualified to answer this question. In other words my life would continue as it does everyday except without the additional fears of CH. Wait till next year!

I agree with Don, except for the Sox thing. Fortunately for me, i'm episodic and the Beast leaves every year for 8 months or so. I go about life like usual during my 8 month remission. The difference is I wouldn't have to worry that September is almost here. There would be no more hibernating 4 months a year. It would definately be refreshing to know it is over just like it would be a thrill for the CUBS to finally win. Screw the Boston Red Sox. GO CUBS !!!

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by ckelly181 on Feb 16^th, 2004, 10:08pm

Not a coward, just steeped in the grind of work.

Although it seems there is a lot of pressure to feel deeply about this monster, I know from the pain-free times that I would/could walk away and not look back. I hate it, it sucks the joy out of me, it consumes me, it takes my life away.

When it's gone, I don't think about it. My way of coping with it is to completely forget about it. Right or wrong, that's how I handle it.

Of course, I've stayed around this place long after it left this time...that's something, I guess...

Chris

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by justasound on Feb 16^th, 2004, 10:19pm

Surely, I would "fear no beer".

Title: Re: Great Suffering and the Aftermath
Post by Roxy on Feb 16^th, 2004, 11:08pm

I would live life just as I do now. The ch's come, but all they do is take a little bit of time from life. If they were gone....it would just be more time for the people or things that we are enjoying. Ch's haven't slowed down my life, I just plan things a little differently.

The one nice thing would never be seeing that look on Greg's face when he see's me get hit.....that helpless look which I've never seen until ch's.

I would enjoy more, the friends that I have met through this malady. They are more than ch....they are what is real.