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Title: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 5th, 2004, 3:46pm bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Jonny congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? To be continued ;;D ...................jonny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 5th, 2004, 3:54pm Two days later..... BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh shit BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up. eminemBNJA: Oh shit eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something To be continued ;;D .............jonny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by JDH on Feb 5th, 2004, 4:06pm slow day Jonny? Jim |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 5th, 2004, 4:10pm Very slow....LOL ;;D Not for this dude though...LOL oodninja: Wanna cyber? Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables? bloodninja: What like gardening an shit? Katie_007: Yeah, something like that. bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out: bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) Katie_007: is that it? bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily. bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains. Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT. Katie_007: ... bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. Katie_007: whatever. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 5th, 2004, 4:16pm WTF??? I thought this was supposed to be "When men were oysters". lmao. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 5th, 2004, 4:28pm on 02/05/04 at 16:16:19, thomas wrote:
When men were oysters they fought for their meals, back when the day they fought tigers for the meat in the jungle, Ya hear me?....I hear me!!! Thats all I got for now....LMAO ;;D ......................jonny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Linda_Howell on Feb 5th, 2004, 4:58pm o.k. J..... Just now saw this. sigh..what do I have to do to be your God? I know it has to be something. lmao....you hear me? I hear me. O.K. I propose this.::::::: Jonny is King here. I am Queen. works for me. lmao |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Woobie on Feb 5th, 2004, 6:42pm I'm cornfudicated! imagine that! tina |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by t_h_b on Feb 5th, 2004, 6:50pm Jonny, is this sh*t for real or did you make it up? |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 5th, 2004, 6:51pm Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat! Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute. Sweetheart: What's the matter? |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 5th, 2004, 6:52pm Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly. Wellhung: Me too. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other. Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh! Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing. Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it! Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now! Wellhung: I'm flaccid. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo! Sweetheart: <logged off> LMMFYBO.......;;D ..................jonny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by brad267 on Feb 5th, 2004, 7:00pm jonny, you better copyright this stuff. It's gold! Brad |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by justasound on Feb 5th, 2004, 7:50pm I sit aghast and bedazzled... I haven't luaghed that hard from reading in a very long time.. That is f**king hillarious!! HAIL TO THE KING! Thanx I needed that...... Lee |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by brain_cramps on Feb 5th, 2004, 8:01pm waaaaaaaaaaaaay too fuckin funny jonny *round of applause* grant [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 5th, 2004, 8:20pm Im glad you dudes got a laugh.....but do you really think I could come up with that?....Hmmmmm, Probably, but I didnt. Was sent to me, I just re-arrainged and tweaked it. ;;D ...................................jonny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by justasound on Feb 5th, 2004, 8:46pm Whatever it takes to promote that kind of comedy, let her rip... Thanks for posting it. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Ann on Feb 5th, 2004, 9:36pm Jonny....you're nuts man! :o ROFLMAO hugs Ann |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Sean_C on Feb 5th, 2004, 10:13pm Bro........put the bottle down and go to bed....I think you've had enough don't you :D BED NOW its getting embarrassing LMAO Sean........... |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Peppermint on Feb 5th, 2004, 11:42pm Oh Man Jonny... [smiley=laugh.gif]... ROTFLMCLLAO. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by cootie on Feb 5th, 2004, 11:52pm That was funny.................Pam that likes funny stuff when I'm not feelin funny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 6th, 2004, 8:40am Too funny man........ [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by BruceD on Feb 6th, 2004, 9:11am <BruceD makes a mental note> "Never, and I repeat NEVER, read one of jonny's posts first thing in the morning while drinking coffee ..." BTW, you owe me a new keyboard J-man, typing in a pool of spit coffee is not fun. [smiley=laugh.gif] Later BruceD |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by brain_cramps on Feb 7th, 2004, 11:29am still waiting for the next "episode" jonny ;;D |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Little Deb on Feb 7th, 2004, 11:54am only you.....jonny.......only you..... with hurting cheeks............little deb |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by cathy on Feb 7th, 2004, 11:59am OMG ROFLMAO...I think Hirvi wrote it.... ;;D |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 7th, 2004, 12:00pm i just want to know, which one of you perverts stole my robe and hat..........lmfao. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by BritneySpears14 on Feb 9th, 2004, 12:24am on 02/07/04 at 12:00:05, thomas wrote:
"Stole" --- Yeah, Right!! "thomas" ---So THAT's what you are calling yourself now It took me ALL DAY to track you down Bloodninja, ememinemBNJA, thomas, or whatever the hell you are calling yourself TODAY!!! I have ALLLL your login names now BUDDY-BOY!! And you are in for it now. I am publishing ALL your names and your ISP to every message board on the web!!! You will NEVER find another chick on the web that will Cyber with you!! They will have ALL BEEN WARNED about what a sickko you truly are! You need to run off with that lady with the fruit fetish or whatever is "tossing her salad" these days...you two would make a great pair!! Fruit sprinkeled with NUTS. I can only PRAY that you two are STERILE. I would hate to think you could reproduce and multiply!!!! Don't email me. Don't message me. Just Dont ANYTHING ME!! THIS BETTER BE THE LAST TIME I EVER SEE YOUR SICK, DEMENTED, RAMBLINGS ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN!! Sickened, BritneySpears14 PS...What time Friday? :) |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Paigelle on Feb 9th, 2004, 7:09am on 02/07/04 at 12:00:05, thomas wrote:
I got your robe! Not sure who has your hat! |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 9th, 2004, 8:40am on 02/09/04 at 00:24:06, BritneySpears14 wrote:
What time Friday??????? RAOTMFFLMMFAO!!!!!!!!!! If you think I'm ever gonna cyber with you again Brittney, you are sadly mistaken...... You are the most boring cyber-lay I've ever had, you'd better find a real man to teach you a thing or too......I ain't talkin' about no Justin Timberlake either........ p.s. please send me back all articles of clothing that belong to me. ememinem. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by cathy on Feb 9th, 2004, 4:50pm on 02/09/04 at 08:40:08, thomas wrote:
Hey Thomas....are you saying your not a real man.. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 9th, 2004, 5:09pm on 02/09/04 at 16:50:50, cathy wrote:
No, I'm not saying that........ There's only so much you can do in cyber space though........ ;) |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by cathy on Feb 9th, 2004, 5:28pm Thats the same excuse the Mule comes up with ;;D |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 9th, 2004, 5:31pm on 02/09/04 at 17:28:15, cathy wrote:
Ok, the LAST thing I want to do, is to get into an in depth discussion of my sexual prowess on the message board. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by cathy on Feb 9th, 2004, 5:43pm Boring boring boring...... :( |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 9th, 2004, 5:51pm Ok, rhino, horse, or bear doesn't even come close. :o Is that better. [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:00pm "Mule" is a trademarked name, cease using it or you WILL be sued ;;D ................................jonny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by cathy on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:04pm MULE, MULE MULE MULE MULE MULE MULE... :P sue me bastad... :-* Thomas it's a start... ;;D BTW Britney...welcome....and I think Thomas is busy Friday....Jonny's having him over for tea... |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by broomhilda on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:04pm LMFAO, I do have to say its nice to meet you Jonny, brittney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the laughs today, my cheeks hurt, not saying which ones...lol!!!!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:05pm Happy now, bro? |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:08pm on 02/09/04 at 18:05:06, thomas wrote:
Nope! on 02/09/04 at 18:04:59, broomhilda wrote:
For all I know you Broom are the one that typed the Brittney crap. Everyone here knows I never type more than 30 words....LMMFAO |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by SweetHeart on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:19pm Dear Mr. Wellhung, aka King, aka Mule, aka jonny, I cannot believe the nerve you have. Sending me a bill for the fire damage to your room is absolutely the most incredulous thing I have EVER seen in my entire life. You burn down YOUR ROOM and I'M supposed to pay for it? Three Wordsl, Mr. "Proud of his Genitalia"....GO SCREW YOURSELF!! At least I thought that until I got your MEDICAL BILLS in the mail!!!!!!!!!! What in the hell are you thinking??? Nobody goes and gets an Upper GI for getting a PUBIC HAIR stuck in their throat!!! You really are sick!! SICK, SICK, SICK!!! If anything YOU OWE ME!!! You peed in my laundry hamper RUINING all of my clothes! I have smelled cat spray that smelled better than your piss. Not to mention the blouse you ripped to shreds and the nasty snot all over it. I burned that blouse out of pure fear and disgust. OH, and BTW...the next time you are picking out your next pair of sweatpants at Wally World... TRY GETTING SOME VIAGRA TO GO ALONG WITH THEM! You will be hearing from my lawyer. SweetHeart :) |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:21pm on 02/09/04 at 18:08:16, jonny wrote:
I took m*le out of the post.......lmao. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by jonny on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:28pm Looks like we have a troll folks...not you Thomas...your too tall...LOL I love hunting trolls ;;D .............................jonny |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by thomas on Feb 9th, 2004, 6:31pm on 02/09/04 at 18:28:01, jonny wrote:
Got my net out, and ready......lmao. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by Donna_D. on Feb 9th, 2004, 7:20pm Put away the Nets and Call off DJ. There is no BritneySpears14 and there is no SweetHeart. Just me. I admit it. I did it. I am responsible for the whole thing. Although it was done in a joking manner, AND IT WAS ALL JUST A JOKE, I learned today that it is never appropriate to post under another name. Just to clarify things: There is no Robe. There is no hat. No one peed in anyones hamper. No one has had any medical treatment for ingesting pubic hair. There are no lawyers involved. This is a joke, it is only a joke. Had this been an actual scenario you would have been instructed to hunt down and terminate the person responsible for causing intentional harm to others. I hope that there are no hard feelings. Just trying to get some smiles....hope I at least got a grin! Donna D aka BritneySpears14 aka SweetHeart :) Sorry DJ...It won't happen again. |
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Title: Re: Cyber......? Post by athos on Feb 10th, 2004, 3:25am Jokes are not allowed on this board |
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