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        New Message Board Archives >> Jan-Mar 2004 >> Points to Ponder (non ch)
        
(Message started by: chronic_chic on Jan 30^th, 2004, 7:37pm)

Title: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by chronic_chic on Jan 30^th, 2004, 7:37pm

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

6. Can a Hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

9. Why does the OB-GYN leave the room when a woman gets undressed if they are going to look you-know-where anyway?

10. Why does Goofy stand upright while Pluto remains on all fours?

11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

17. Stop singing and read on...

18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ... Um ... butt?

20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by bobkip on Jan 30^th, 2004, 7:51pm

Loved it Chronic, thanks.
Kip

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by jonny on Jan 30^th, 2004, 8:01pm

on 01/30/04 at 19:37:26, chronic_chic wrote:

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

The real question is.....Who was the first person to eat someting that grew out of the shit of this animal?

.......................................jonny

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by BarbaraD on Jan 30^th, 2004, 9:19pm

Now you've got me something to ponder over the weekend. You know I'll drive everyone crazy with this -- love playing with my kid's head....

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by Cerberus on Jan 30^th, 2004, 9:46pm

What I wanna know is......

Since dogs can't talk, how do the dog food makers know what flavor it is? Who's job is it to find out and how? (mmmmm tastes like chicken!!!!) :o ;;D

Jonny, I have to imagine that the first mushroom eater was one of those "dare me?" guys. ;;D

Ramon

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by jadedgazer on Jan 30^th, 2004, 10:14pm

LOL too funny.

Ramon,
In reference to...
"Jonny, I have to imagine that the first mushroom eater was one of those "dare me?" guys."
Here in SE Oklahoma that is referred to as one of those guys whose last words are, "Hold my beer and watch this!" ;;D

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by jimbo on Jan 30^th, 2004, 11:40pm

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Why do we call it a hernia? Shouldn't it be called a hisnia?

Why don't they make mouse flavored cat food?

If my Aunt had balls, would she be my Uncle?

I'm drunk and gotta go to bed now!!!!!!!!

Seeya,

Jimboooooooooooooomygod

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by Charlie on Jan 31^st, 2004, 2:27am

Thanks Chronic:

My contribution:

WTF was going through the mind of the first guy who decided to pry open an oyster and slurp snot?

Charlie

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by Cerberus on Jan 31^st, 2004, 11:34am

LMAO Charlie,

But again , I gotta come back to :

"Betcha $5 you won't eat whats inside that!"

Ramon

Title: Re: Points to Ponder (non ch)
Post by Kirk on Jan 31^st, 2004, 1:07pm

Since they are all in the same building. Why do they call them apartments.

Whats a Parkway?

TTFN