Clusterheadaches.com Message Board (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
New Message Board Archives >> Jan-Mar 2003 >> Death in the family
(Message started by: Roxy on Mar 13th, 2003, 2:05am)

Title: Death in the family
Post by Roxy on Mar 13th, 2003, 2:05am
I just wanted to let everyone know that my nephew was killed in a car accident this evening.

Nicholas was a wonderful boy.  He was my son's best friend...he was only 16.  I always thought he was older than he actually was because he was so big.  This 6'3" football player was coming home from choir practice at church, when he was hit by a one ton dually truck.  They used the jaws of life to get him out....then medivaced him to Wichita Falls, the town closest to me, but, he didn't survive the trip.  My oldest son was the only one already at the hospital when the doctor came out with the news.  The parents had a 45 minute drive to get there, and the ambulance carrying Nicholas's mom and dad passed us on the highway....the ambulance took them to the wrong hospital.  I beat the parents to the hospital, so I was the one who had to tell them their son was dead.  I also had to tell his grandma (my mother-in-law).  

Everything still feels so surreal to me...I'm hoping by writing this down for my other family, it will begin to make some kind of sense.  

Hug your children tonight and love them dearly....I know I am.  Everything you know as precious can be gone in an instant.  

I never in my life want to have to tell another mother that her son is dead.

Tracey

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Not4Hire on Mar 13th, 2003, 2:23am
Dear Tracey--please accept my condolences for your loss and convey them to your family.  The loss of a young one is especially hard. I am sure *this* family will have you and yours in our prayers. Thank you for sharing and we wish you peace.
best.....Steve, Martha, and the Kidz

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by marty on Mar 13th, 2003, 2:28am
Roxy..

My heart goes out to you and everybody affected by this tragedy.

Words are hard for me to find in situations like this, but know that you and your family are in my thoughts and if there is anything that I can do, please let me know.

Marty

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Svenn on Mar 13th, 2003, 3:00am
My heart goes out to you and everybody affected by this tragedy.

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by SommelierCH on Mar 13th, 2003, 3:44am
Dearest Tracey,

There is no silver lining in a cloud such as this. However, Nicholas has grown bigger than life and has reached out to touch people all over the world, through this post. Because of Nicholas, I, for one, will be stopping to smell the roses.

My best wishes, peace and condolences,
David J.

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by suzy617 on Mar 13th, 2003, 4:42am
Tracey,
I am so very, very sorry about your nephew.
My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

suzy

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by WendyHowe on Mar 13th, 2003, 4:43am
Tracey
You don't know me but I am so sorry. I cannot begin to imagine how terrible it must have been to tell them. I was a Police Officer and only ever had to tell strangers and that was harrowing enough. There are no words to help as there is no reason for a tragedy like that,  but thank you for reminding us how precious life is. It is times like this that we realise how lucky we are, even with CH! I have just hugged and told my son how much I love him. (he is three and just told me to go away so he can play with Action Man but at least he knows I love him)

Sending you all the sympathy we can give from 'over the pond' as Jonny calls it

Wendy

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Karla on Mar 13th, 2003, 4:58am
We are so sorry to hear of your loss.  We are praying for your family at this time.  
Karla, Ted, and boys

Title: if the horse don't pull, ya gotta carry that load
Post by rumplestiltskin on Mar 13th, 2003, 6:35am
I'm staring at Karla's cross icon...with the dawn approaching in the background.

Some nights are more still, deeper, darker than others.  Storm warnings for dawn give the blackness an oppressive feel. Hope seems distant.

Faith and love help me see beyond tonight and tomorrow's images of misery. That brighter dawn may not come tomorrow .....but it will come.

I'm staring at Karla's cross icon...with the dawn approaching in the background.

Walk in the sunshine
Cry in the night
den

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by kissmyglass on Mar 13th, 2003, 7:43am
So Sorry Tracey.  My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family....


Kev C

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by maggie_may on Mar 13th, 2003, 8:16am
Tracey,

I am so sorry to hear about your nephew.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you and everyone affected by this sad tragedy.

maggie

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Edna on Mar 13th, 2003, 8:25am
Tracey, please accept my deepest and most sincere sympathy at your sad loss. I feel honored as well that you think enough of all of us here to come to us in your time of need to share this deeply sad news.

May God keep you close and warm in his love as you all grieve for your nephew. Please extend my wishes to your entire family.

Den has such beautiful words for us here, thank you Den

Thoughts and prayers to you dear,
EDNA  (ps....check your mail)

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Ann on Mar 13th, 2003, 8:32am
Oh Tracey!  I'm so sorry for you loss.  I wish there were words of wisdom I could share with you, but I'm not very good at the type of thing.
Den has a beautiful way with words.  Read and reread his post.  May his words bring you comfort in this most trying of times!

hugs to you and your family
Ann

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by brain_cramps on Mar 13th, 2003, 9:07am
Tracey

So sorry to hear this news.  It is never easy to put thoughts into words at a time like this.

A death in the family, or of a friend,  is never an easy thing to deal with, but it is so much tougher when it is someone so young and the circumstances so unexpected.

It must have been so hard to be the one to break the news.  That is a job that no-one EVER wants to do.  I'm sure that your family and Nicholas' family will remember  and be very appreciative of what you went through.

It may seem impossible to make sense of such an unexpected tragedy.   Sometimes we can't  understand  the reasons behind God's will, nor are we supposed to be able to.   He does have his reasons even though we can't always fathom them.

I really wish I knew what to say other than that my thought and prayers are going out to you and yours.

Your friend,
Grant

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Peppermint on Mar 13th, 2003, 9:44am
Oh Tracey  :'(....
I am so very very sorry my friend... for your loss, your family's loss. For Tyler, Whit & Gregory, for Nicholas' parents.
Last night and this morning the first and last word in my head was 'Nicholas'.   I promise you I prayed for him but the Great one had a higher plan for him.
My daughter, when I see her tonight, will be a treasure... thank you for letting us know - again, it puts so much in perspective.  

Peace, love and big hugs to you all my friend......
Always,
Patty

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by cbolony on Mar 13th, 2003, 9:59am
Tracey i'am very sorry for your loss

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Margi on Mar 13th, 2003, 10:01am
Tracey, we share your sorrow.  If there's anything we can do to help ease your pain, please let us know.  Lots of wide, waterproof shoulders here.
:'(

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Mikey on Mar 13th, 2003, 10:06am
Dear Tracey, I am so sorry for your and your families loss. Tonight I'll hug and kiss my boys, and tell them how much i love them. I do this alot, But when you read something as tragic as this it means more than just a routine thing.

Hugs for you and yours,
                               Mikey  :)

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Leesa on Mar 13th, 2003, 10:38am
I'm so very sorry to hear this.  :'(  If we can help please let us know. Reading this made me heart sink, and wake up Mychael and hold him so very close. The family is in my prayers and in my heart.

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by cootie on Mar 13th, 2003, 10:41am
heartfelt hugs to you and yours Tracey.....am thinking of you all in your time of loss.........Love, Pam-Coots-emotional-girl

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by SFChris on Mar 13th, 2003, 10:51am
Tracey,

I am so sorry for your loss.  It puts all the petty BS that we deal with on a daily basis into it's proper perspective.  Family and friends should always know how much we care about them, and this is a reminder to let them all know more often...sending you positive energy.

Chris

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by TomM on Mar 13th, 2003, 10:53am
Tracey---That is horrible. Know that I am thinking of you and your family.
TomM

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Mark C on Mar 13th, 2003, 11:02am
:'(

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by 9erfan on Mar 13th, 2003, 11:10am
Tracey,

I am SO sorry to hear this news.  I know you've had a rough time lately but all those other things probably pale in comparison to what you had to endure last night.  My heart goes out to you.  This family is here for you always!  It is never easy losing a loved one, especially one so young.
I will be praying for you & your family.
Love,
Virginia

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by JDH on Mar 13th, 2003, 11:25am
Tracey,
I'm so sorry to hear of your families loss. What a tragedy it is to be taken away so young. I can't even imagine how hard that must've been for you to be the one to tell his parents.
Just know that the CH community is here for you whenever you need us.
Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your family.
Jim

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by OneEyeBlind on Mar 13th, 2003, 2:50pm
Tracey, I am so sorry.  My prayers go out to your and yours.  

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by eyes_afire on Mar 13th, 2003, 2:54pm
Tracey, I'm really sorry to hear this.  Accept my condolences.

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Slammy on Mar 13th, 2003, 3:31pm
Tracey,

I am saddened by your family's tragic loss.  Please accept my condolences and sympathies.  No words can ever begin to convey my thoughts on such a tragedy.

Love,


Slammy   :'(

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by K. on Mar 13th, 2003, 4:25pm
Tracey, I'm sorry for your loss and all that your family is going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Karen

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by jonny on Mar 13th, 2003, 5:09pm
Sorry Tracey.

....................................jonny

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by DeansGirl on Mar 13th, 2003, 5:53pm
I am so terribly sorry to hear of your devastating loss.  We are thinking of you with the love extended to our family.

Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us.  Let us help carry your burden of grief, and mourn with you.  By allowing us this, you have given us the gift to appreciate the life and love that we have.

DeansGirl

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by 2late on Mar 13th, 2003, 7:19pm
I'm so sorry Tracey                     ...............Jack

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by parrothead on Mar 13th, 2003, 7:59pm
Tracey,

I am truly sorry for the loss of your nephew.

My thoughts and prayers tonight will be with you and your whole family.

Peace be with you.

Mark

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Mastifflvr28 on Mar 13th, 2003, 8:01pm
So sorry Roxy,
:(
Just don't know what else to say.
Thoughts are with you.
Mast

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Ted on Mar 13th, 2003, 9:07pm
Tracey, I'm so sorry you're having to go through such hell right now, or ever for that matter. This is a tough time you and your entire family are going through now and if I can do anything at all for you, please let me know.

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by TammyN on Mar 13th, 2003, 11:56pm
Tracey,

I cannot express the depth of my sympathy and empathy for the grieving you are going through now.  Years ago, I was in your son's position, having lost my closest and dearest friend of 23 years in a traffic accident.  As a 23 year old myself, I could not ever have imagined the possibility of that much grief existing in the world, let alone having it descend on me all at once.  I was inconsolable for many months.  If your son could use someone to talk to who actually *knows* what he is going through at some level, I'm willing to talk to him.  I did learn how to deal with it after many years, and maybe in a few months he would be willing to listen to a wise old fart, or maybe even me.

-fubar

(yikes... i didn't see that my wife had logged in... so now everybody... meet my wife Tammy... didn't mean to confuse y'all)

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by firebrix on Mar 14th, 2003, 12:47am
Very sad news Roxy. Our thoughts are with you.
firebrix and Mopar

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Charlie on Mar 14th, 2003, 2:50am
Sorry Tracey.

Death beats us up over the years. We get around it and heal but the scars remain.  It's hard to fathom death at 16. I wish I had something profound to say other than I'm sorry.

Keep doing what you're doing.

Charlie

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by nancyc on Mar 14th, 2003, 10:20am
I lost a nephew and neice at the age of 16...my heart goes out to the family and you...God bless, nancyc

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Tim_w on Mar 14th, 2003, 11:19am
Dear Tracy
Our toughts and prayers are with you and your family!
                                    Tim_w,Robinw & family

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by MKenney on Mar 14th, 2003, 8:33pm
I am new to this site (but not to clusters) so I feel somewhat uneasy responding to your posting. However, I have complete empathy with what you are going through at this time.

My daughter died at age 22 on December 17, 1993 on her way from Southwestern University in Georgetown to a Roundrock elementary school where she was doing her student teaching. We still don't understand how she drove off the road at 9:00 in the morning on a bright, warm and sunny day and hit a utility pole.

The support from the college students, our own friends and the soccer referee community was incredible. It did not diminish the pain, but made it a little bit easier to get through the first week or so.

Long term, it took counseling from a wonderful psychologist lady and some hard work for my wife and me. We didn't grieve in the same way.

You will get through this over time, but there will always be a hole in your heart.

Mike

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Lori on Mar 14th, 2003, 8:53pm
Tracey I'm real sorry and pray for strength and peace to be with all the family as you try to grieve and heal.


Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Frank on Mar 14th, 2003, 10:09pm
Tracey, I'm sorry that happened to your nephew. I can't figure why bad stuff happens to kids.

Same thing almost happened to my 15-y.o. neice about a month ago (in a car crash). She found out two weeks after it happened that her 18 y.o. friend who was driving wasn't so lucky.

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Mika on Mar 15th, 2003, 8:52am
Tracey,
We are deeply sorry for your loss, definately hugging and kissing my daughter tonight. I will keep you and your family in my daily prayers for answers! Take care, be strong and if your son has pent up anxiety I remember a story of "a neighbor in need of an a-- kickin'" Sent with love,
Tim2

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Roxy on Mar 15th, 2003, 9:28pm
I want to thank everyone so much for all your thoughts and prayers for our family.  I printed off all these posts and Nick's mom and dad read them through their tears.  I explained who everyone was, and they were just amazed and awed....they could not believe that people whom they had never met were so concerned and caring. They wanted ya'll to know that it did warm their hearts.  They wanted me to send everyone a very heartfelt thank you.

We've made it through some tough days, but we made it through with the cluster family's help. Your emails, messages and posts were read many times over.  They closed Nick's school for two days, and as the students came through Nick's home....your posts lay on the table and were read again and again.

The services are over, but there is still the vehicular manslaughter charges on the other driver to get through. What I can't get out of my mind is he was only 300 yds. from his driveway when he was hit.  So close to being home and safe, but now, I guess he is home and safe....just in a different place.

Thank ya'll again.....with love,
Tracey  

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by cerebus on Mar 16th, 2003, 9:16pm
Rox....
Sorry for your loss, prayers for the deceased and family are En Route.
Ramon

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by KingOfPain on Mar 16th, 2003, 11:49pm
So sorry for your loss.

I can't think of anything to add than hasn't already been very well said.


KOP

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by NotH20 on Mar 17th, 2003, 1:52pm
Tracey - I'm saddened by your news.  :'(   May your family find some peace soon.  Our family will keep your family close in prayers....

Mia

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by arby on Mar 17th, 2003, 2:19pm
Roxy

Been off the board for a liitle while so I missed this awful thing.  I know that there are no appropriate words, but know that thoughts &  prayers are with you and your family.

Time helps heal the pain and makes the memories sweeter.

arby

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by Elaine on Mar 17th, 2003, 9:32pm
I am sorry about your lost. I wish I had words that could make you feel better. I will keep you and the Family in my thoughts.

Title: Re: Death in the family
Post by juvy on Mar 18th, 2003, 5:14am
*tears*

Tracey,

I havn't been here long but i just wanted to say i'm sorry for the loss in your family.  I know you must be hurting.  I can only say the pain will lesson in time but it will never go away.  If you ever want to talk let me know.

I wish you strength and love.

Juvy
Juvember@hotmail.com



Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1!
YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved.