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        New Message Board Archives >> Jan-Mar 2003 >> Oh no. Not another current events post.
        
(Message started by: Ted on Feb 25^th, 2003, 7:44am)

Title: Oh no. Not another current events post.
Post by Ted on Feb 25^th, 2003, 7:44am

Well, at least this one's from National Lampoon.

Rhode Island nightclub may face criminal charges; "booking Great White has to violate some rule" says police chief

Australia's oldest human skeleton, "Mungo Man," is only 40,000 years old, not 60,000; America's oldest human skeleton, "Joan Rivers" still dated at 100,000 years old

US Navy deploying trained Sea Lions in Persian Gulf; "Should the Iraqis attack us with large inflatable balls and bicycle horns, we will be ready!" vows admiral

California use gardens as classrooms; "Our children are like vegetables," states administrator using unfortunate analogy

Shuttle Foam theory "not a favorite," says NASA Chief; "I prefer the one which blames an evil Gremlin that was dancing on the wing"

Joe Torre OK with David Wells using Ephedra; "I don't really like the guy," admits Yankees Manager

Agents seize 10 tons of pot at Mexico border; "Did we say 10? We meant 9 and a half," slurs red-eyed Customs Officer

Ebola outbreak in Congo blamed on consumption of "Bushmeat"; America's First Lady armed with yet another reason not to perform fellatio in the White House

Secretary Ridge recommends Americans should keep a "terror readiness kit" containing duct tape and pre-measured sheets of plastic; "In other words, things you might find in Laci Petersen's husband's closet"

Colombian rebels admit to holding 3 Americans; "But we will not cuddle them!" insist overly-macho captors

NASA searches Nevada for shuttle debris; "please let the search be near Vegas," states guardsmen hoping for fun weekend

Scientists discover Pain Gene; "It's very similar to the pleasure gene," whispers Viennese "researcher" clad in shiny leather

Nasal tissues may ID people with rare mad cow-like disease; "loud angry mooing is also a reliable indicator," states doctor

Title: Re: Oh no. Not another current events post.
Post by Mark C on Feb 25^th, 2003, 8:13am

Thank you Ted,
First post I have read today and it mad me laugh....I needed that. Gremlin on the wing....

;D

Title: Re: Oh no. Not another current events post.
Post by TomM on Feb 25^th, 2003, 9:07am

Godd shit, man! Thanks.
TomM

Title: Re: Oh no. Not another current events post.
Post by TomM on Feb 25^th, 2003, 9:09am

Typo--should have read "Good shit, man."

Damm beast is ramping up...

TomM