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(Message started by: Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:23pm)
Title: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:23pm
There are some people here who have said that because my husband's headaches are few and not at a level 9 or 10 that maybe he doesn't have CH. But I am sure he does, due to the times he gets them and the shadows and "twinges" - and the way that rockstar takes care of them - He gets them at the very worst at a level 8 and he's really good with pain and would rather not thrash around but wrap his head in ice and pass out - Some things were said that made me feel as though we were outsiders because we don't suffer enough. Not true, not a minute goes by that I don't wonder whether he's having a shadow, and every morning when I wake up he's there to tell me he either slept through the night or he woke at 4:30 with a 2 or 3 and had twilight sleep. I think that validates us....
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Jonny on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:25pm

on 04/01/08 at 19:23:44, Mybelle wrote:
I think that validates us....


Has he been diagnosed?
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Charlotte on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:32pm
There are just times when we may feel like an outsider.  That doesn't make it so.  If you are here, you are part of the family.

Charlotte
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:32pm
no he hasn't - and that's his problem - he won't go -since he found this website - there's nothing here that doesn't fit -
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Jonny on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:34pm

on 04/01/08 at 19:32:14, Mybelle wrote:
no he hasn't - and that's his problem - he won't go -since he found this website - there's nothing here that doesn't fit -


The pain cant be to bad if he wont go to a doc, right?
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:37pm
thanks Charlotte, I think this website is more for me than my husband who is computer illiterate, so all info he gets is from me through this website - He can be headache free all day and then boom at 3:30 or 4:00 wake with a 3 or 4 - I guess I'm just a worrier like my mom (I always told her to chill out - now my kids tell it to me) and I hate being like that - it sucks the life out of the day :-[
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by vietvet2tours on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:40pm
Sounds like a bad headache.

           Potter
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:41pm
No jonny, the pain isn't that bad (shadows, twinges) but when he's had the full on headache (hatchet in eye) he says they were an 8 according to kip - but people say "oh it'll get worse" - I don't really need to hear it - that's not encouraging!!!! He's been like this for 7 weeks - he's developed his own pattern :-/
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by JeffB on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:43pm
Hmm???

See a Doc. See a Doc in the middle of a hit. It's a lot better than a bunch of folks on the internet diagnosing him. (Although I'd bet dollars to doughnuts most of these people know more than the average Doc)

As far as sleeping through the night when in a cycle? No way! The beast doesn't tease me with a 2-3, it's just all out war, every night, till the focker moves on.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by jimmers on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:45pm
Did these people say these things on another thread or PM?

I know from first hand experience that no one here would ever turn their backs on anyone in need.

I guess you could call it being "Gun shy" Please don't take it to heart. there have been way to many phonys that have posted on here and sooner or later people become critical. They "Cry wolf" for the lack of a better term and that makes CH sufferers and their supporters become skeptical because they to are hurting.

Welcome, grab a chair and don't dissapear when the pain that your hubby has subsides. There is a lot to learn here, but just make sure you grab an oar and keep rowing.

Sorry for the psycho babble, but I'm in cycle right now and my brain isn't working right! ;)

Jimmers
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:49pm
JeffB- When he gets one it is usually every other night - and perhaps he's winding down - in the beginning he was getting them every night and up for a few hours so........we're all different
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Jonny on Apr 1st, 2008, 7:57pm
Could it be that he is just saying "Not now honey I have a headache"?
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:03pm
Nope - and why are you so hostile? He's never said that to me - nor I to him
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by PollyPocket on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:07pm

on 04/01/08 at 19:43:15, JeffB wrote:
 Hmm???

See a Doc. See a Doc in the middle of a hit. It's a lot better than a bunch of folks on the internet diagnosing him. (Although I'd bet dollars to doughnuts most of these people know more than the average Doc)


I agree with ya there Jeff.

As far as sleeping through the night when in a cycle? No way!  [/quote]

Disagree with ya there Jeff. I haven't had a night hit in 12 years.
Mybelle, get him to a doc for a proper diagnosis. He needs some good meds to combat the beast instead of trying to fight a battle without weapons, or worse yet, having you fight the battle for him.

Youre a good lady for being so supportive of him (but drag his ass to a doc)



Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Jonny on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:08pm

on 04/01/08 at 20:03:17, Mybelle wrote:
Nope - and why are you so hostile? He's never said that to me - nor I to him


Hostile?.......I just asked a question.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:12pm
He won't go - I can't force him - he weighs more than me - he's started arguments against docs every time I mention that - as far as his sleeping - a report said that 50% of CH took melatonin and were helped significantly - the first night my husband took it was the first night he slept through the night - we added benadryl and taurine - he woke up last night but went back to sleep - was the trial wrong?
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Jonny on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:21pm

on 04/01/08 at 20:12:27, Mybelle wrote:
a report said that 50% of CH took melatonin and were helped significantly - the first night my husband took it was the first night he slept through the night


What report was that?
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Redd on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:23pm
Part of the the concern here, is that proper diagnosis is critical, because it rules out more sinister conditions such as a tumor or worse.

Medications and treatments that we use could be very dangerous for someone who has a different condition.  

As his supporter you need to tell him that he needs to cut the stubborn crap and get to a Doctor.  Period.  
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:27pm
Update on therapies for cluster headache by Todd D. Rozen and I quote"The efficacy of 10 mg of oral melatonin was evaluated in a double blind placebo controlled trial. cluster heache remission within 3 - 5 days occurred in 5 of ten patients who received melatonin, compared with none of ten patients who received placebos. Melatonin has also shown to be an effective preventive in chronic cluster heache. It is my belief that melatonin should be initiated in all cluster patients as a first line preventative sometimes even before verapamil".  I printed the article out for my husband and just typed for you the quote.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Charlotte on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:28pm
See, kid.  This is what happens to family.  Now we are nagging you to get his ass to the dr, for elimination purposes.

You can't win.  Lol.

Charlotte
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:29pm
Redd-if it's not getting worse but getting better there is no way he will go to a doctor
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:32pm
thanks Charlotte - getting it from both ends......sheesh! ;;D
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Charlotte on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:32pm
and if it is episodic, it should be over, eventually.  
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Annette on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:35pm

CH is a medical condition and both legally as well as medically a person cant claim to have the condition without being formally diagnosed by a doctor. A diagnosis is not something that people can validate for you.

However, when people here urge your husband to go to a doctor to get properly diagnosed and treated, its only for his own benefit. Other conditions may cause similar symptoms. We have had people coming here diagnosing themselves with CH but later found out they really had something else when they were properly checked out by their doctors.

The truth is CH can start out as mild then progressily gets worse. I am sure when home remedies dont work anymore and the pain gets bad enough he will want to go. Obviously your husband has a right to choose whether or not he wants to see a doctor now but then without a proper diagnosis people have a right to have doubt also.

Its not a matter of being outsider or not, its a matter of getting proper care and treatment.

Whatever it is, I sincerely hope that he will be painfree.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:39pm
Thank you Annette, and I hope he doesn't get worse for his sake - but if it does he will go.....
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Annette on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:40pm

on 04/01/08 at 20:12:27, Mybelle wrote:
He won't go - I can't force him - he weighs more than me -



I really hate to tell you this, but you are enabling him to not go by reading this board and telling him what to take ( melatonin, red bull ..etc ) ... I know you care for him and only want to help but in fact you are playing doctor when you shouldnt be.

If you stop making suggestions to him based on what you read from here, he is more likely to go seek help from a proper source.

We arent here to diagnose or treat people. You should be discussing the information you get from here with his treating doctor.

Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:43pm
Annette - I spoke with my gp about his headaches and he was the one to suggest benadryl with the melatonin and see what happens for about 2 weeks - if not better he said he should be checked out.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Annette on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:48pm

Thank you for that. Please take him to the doctor. Sometimes you might have to put your foot down and make the decision not to support his senseless stubborness.

HUGS and painfree wishes to you both. I am a supporter and my husband can be very hard headed at times too so I do understand how hard it can be.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Jonny on Apr 1st, 2008, 8:54pm

on 03/27/08 at 21:08:47, Mybelle wrote:
No, my husband is stubborn and he said he has never experienced pain like this except for an accident that left him with unbearable sciatic pain - he says he has that pain in his head!!! And he may underestimate the pain level to protect me......


LMAO.......Ive had CH 33 years, ive had five buldging discs in my back ( ten years) and it dont compare to CH!

I wish I had the sciatica pain in my head insted of CH.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by midwestbeth on Apr 1st, 2008, 10:27pm
Mybelle,

I've been in your position.  My husband refused to go to the Dr. for a medical condition that he had on and off for 6 years.  I finally told him that he had a responsibility to himself and family to go to the Dr.  I made the Dr. appt, put him in the car and drove him there.  Sounds like it's time for some tough love.

Beth
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by nani on Apr 2nd, 2008, 12:15am

on 04/01/08 at 20:39:13, Mybelle wrote:
Thank you Annette, and I hope he doesn't get worse for his sake - but if it does he will go.....


The trouble with that is that if they are clusters ... even of they stop soon ... they'll be back. And possibly worse next time. So, does he really want to feel what a k10 is without a proper diagnosis or treatments on hand? It seems that getting all the "red tape" handled now might help him a lot in the future.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 12:50am
I know what you mean - he's already asleep, he felt great this afternoon and this evening - was even able to rest on the couch without shadows (in the beginning, he couldn't even relax for a minute) - then took his cocktail and went to bed - I don't want the next time to be worse, but if that's what it takes to get him to a doctor, so be it -
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by nani on Apr 2nd, 2008, 1:02am

on 04/02/08 at 00:50:58, Mybelle wrote:
... then took his cocktail and went to bed ...


Does he know that alcohol is the most common CH trigger?

Please let him know this, it might be worth laying off for a while.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by brewcrew on Apr 2nd, 2008, 7:54am
I think she might have meant the cocktail of melatonin and benadryl. Just a guess.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by DennisM1045 on Apr 2nd, 2008, 7:59am
Hi Mybell,

IMO you belong here regardless of what your husband's diagnosis ends up being.  Supporters like you are a treasure.

You might be able to convince your husband to go to a Dr eventually.  Maybe not.  If he wants to continue being stubborn he is the one who will suffer most.  Unfortunately you'll continue to suffer right along with him.  So my heart goes out to you.  I hear your frustration.

I too am a stubborn man.  Just ask my wife.  She'll tell you.  It took me 12 years of suffering to get to the point where my cycles were vicious enough to force me to get help.  I'm incredibly stupid for not doing it sooner but that's me.  Sound familiar?

But it wasn't until my spring 2007 cycle which had me incapacitated, proped up with pillows on my couch, rocking and wimpering for hours begging God to take me night after night before I ran to find the help I'd needed all along.  

Before that I thought I knew what pain was.  After all, I'd had these headaches for a long time.  But it was different this time.  I was scared shitless.  I literally thought I was gonna die.  

That is what it took for me to seek and insist on help.  

My wife talked me into seeing GPs in the past who weren't much help.  Of course I wasn't very forthcoming in describing my symptoms either.

Doctors are very quick to seek the easiest answer for them.  CH isn't an easy answer.  Especially for GPs who've likely never heard of or seen it.  It was easy for me to accept a diagnosis from them which I knew wasn't right.  I'd gone to the Dr and appeased my wife.

That cycle was so bad that I went to my GP and broke down in her office describing what I was going through.  It was only then that she understood just how much agony I was in.  She immediately perscribed Verapamil and refered me to a good Neurologist who knew something about CH.

Now I have real weapons to fight with.  These have made the last two cycles much more bearable.

So he sounds like me five years ago.  I'd find a way to get through each cycle by gobbling Excedrine Migraine and gulping air from the ice box.  And then I'd allow myself to forget about it till the next cycle.  

From your descriptions it sounds like he just hasn't hit bottom yet.  That's what I needed to do.

I hope you both find relief.  I truly do.

-Dennis-
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Angie on Apr 2nd, 2008, 8:53am

on 04/01/08 at 20:29:29, Mybelle wrote:
Redd-if it's not getting worse but getting better there is no way he will go to a doctor


Mybelle

It can come back and it can come back much much worse. When Barry went back into cycle he told me he was going to do this med free. That lasted 4 days and he went wimpering to his doctor for help.

This last cycle of Barry's, there was no way I could sleep through it. I was up with him feeling helpless and that is tough. I also would lack sleep. Than we would both go to work and do an 8 hour day.

I hope you can get him to a doctor soon so you can be ready if this ramps up worse.

My best to you Mybelle
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Guiseppi on Apr 2nd, 2008, 10:11am
Just echoing what Dennis said, supporters like you are truly a blessing! As you can see, many of us start out with milder ??? forms of CH. They continuously get worse until even the most stubborn of us...(myself included! :-[) Finally seek medical help.

Some on the board started with KIP 10's it's difficult for them to understand the transition others of us go thru.  We start with 5's and 6's, and are not able to relate to people screaming and slamming their heads on the linoleum.

You DO belong here and we will continue to help you in any way we can, please stick around, I for one like your style! [smiley=hug.gif]

Guiseppi
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 10:36am
Thanks to one and all - I've relayed all your sentiments to my husband who feels great this morning - his every other night hits are turning into every 3 or 4th night and less so painful so whatever it is - is ramping down - not up. It would be nice for him to go to a doctor now but he's feeling good, so there's no way. I did tell him the majority of folks here say the next cycle (whenever that comes, in 6 months or a year , could be much worse. He admitted he didn't want to hear that, so I was glad I said it. So I'm done for now........scolding him - I mean...It's not good for my mental health......But when it gets bad some time in the future I will physically take his a#$ and put him in the car 8) P.S. Thanks Giuseppi for the compliment
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by brewcrew on Apr 2nd, 2008, 10:43am
It is often easier to sit and talk with a doc rationally when not being ambushed by pain. You can tell him from me that he should still make that appointment with a neurologist/headache specialist so that he has a) a plan for treatment once it comes a-knockin', and b) an established relationship, which makes it easier to get in to see someone or have phone calls returned.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Charlie on Apr 2nd, 2008, 11:00am
Some people handle pain better than others.....but I can't imagine "handling" clusters without wrecking some furniture or somesuch. I understand not wanting to see a doctor. I was already seeing one for seizures though and it was easier. I can see not being able to get to a doctor during an attack. Hard to do for episodics.

On the other hand....no one sleeps though a cluster attack.

Good luck and SEE A DOCTOR.

Charlie
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Tiannia on Apr 2nd, 2008, 11:21am
Maybell - I started out chronic, so 3-4 days without a hit would have been a Godsend.  But I know that I still had cycles. Where they would ramp down to k5 or so for a few days then ramp right back up to a k9 - k10.  I would be rocking on the floor, crying and my 2 kids sitting around me trying to "make it better"  That is what forced me to see the doc. Is how it was affecting my kids and my husband. All he wanted to do was find a way to fix it. And because there was nothing he could do it was tearing him up.  After 3 years, I finally found a good neuro who got me on a preventative.  I still get the shadows, but typically I dont get the big hits.  And when I do get one, I have the meds to treat it.  

I was luck y to find this place because I was able to do my research here and when I went to the docs, I had information from here and OUCH, I had a headache journal that showed the times, frequency, and KIP levels.  It made it easy to talk to the doc because all I would do is hand them the paperwork and once they read thru it, then there was a chance that they would ask the right questions.  

I tried Meletonin, did not help stop the night hits, it just made me even more tired the next day.

PF Wishes for you and your husband.
Tia
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by E-Double on Apr 2nd, 2008, 11:32am

on 04/01/08 at 19:34:32, Jonny wrote:
The pain cant be to bad if he wont go to a doc, right?


I disagree dude....
I was so terrified of what I may find out that I didn't go at first and by the time I went my cycle was ending....
After that I went to the wrong doctors because the one that I originally went to said allergies.

Anyway, once I found this place I DID GET MY ASS TO THE DOCTOR.
Originally it wasn't about pain level but fear
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Rosybabe on Apr 2nd, 2008, 12:14pm
Hope your Husband never gets to have a  K10...He would be wishing for death to come get him out of his misery  :(....Thank you for being such great supporter...now grab him by his b.... and take him to see a Doc  8)
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 1:29pm
I get it - I get it- but that would be too easy! to get to a doctor while out of cycle and explain things and be ready whenever the attack comes, whether next month or next year.  but alas, life doesn't always turn out the way we want and god laughs at our plans - I married a man who believes prayer will heal - and a melatonin, benadryl, taurine cocktail for night and rockstar during the day does it for him...it has for the last 7 weeks and it's still working.....
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by monty on Apr 2nd, 2008, 1:35pm

on 04/01/08 at 20:35:17, Annette wrote:
CH is a medical condition and both legally as well as medically a person cant claim to have the condition without being formally diagnosed by a doctor. A diagnosis is not something that people can validate for you.


Not only can they claim to have it without a doctor's permission, they often do have it.  Misdiagnosis is common for cluster headache; the most recent studies showed that it is taking less time to get diagnosed with clusters, but patients still have to go through several doctors to get the correct label for what ails them.  In 2000, one study found that patients had to see an average of 4.3 doctors (which took 6.6 years) to get a diagnosis of CH.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by brewcrew on Apr 2nd, 2008, 1:43pm

on 04/02/08 at 13:29:52, Mybelle wrote:
I married a man who believes prayer will heal...

And you can remind him that God helps those who help themselves.

If he still refuses, after all the genuine advice that has been offered here, let him suffer.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 1:52pm
Yes, he knows God helps those who help themselves...and he's going the natural route to help himself first, then he'll go when god says go! which he will if and when it gets bad enough.............
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Tiannia on Apr 2nd, 2008, 2:11pm
Help him when he needs help then.  But remind him that it does not just effect him. But you and possible your kids if you have any.  I did not keep going to octors for me. I went because I knew how much I was hurting my family by not being able to to fight a hit when it came.

Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 2:30pm
Tiannia- Being a woman, you empathize more I think than men do...and gratefully, my children are grown and out of the house so it's just the two of us - and men are far more stubborn than women when it comes to doctors and my husband has had several bad experiences with doctors that have turned him off - and rightfully so, I can't go into it now - so I understand his reluctance......... :-/
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by brewcrew on Apr 2nd, 2008, 2:59pm

on 04/02/08 at 14:30:07, Mybelle wrote:
Tiannia- Being a woman, you empathize more I think than men do...and gratefully, my children are grown and out of the house so it's just the two of us - and men are far more stubborn than women when it comes to doctors and my husband has had several bad experiences with doctors that have turned him off - and rightfully so, I can't go into it now - so I understand his reluctance......... :-/

I'll forget I tried to help if you will.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Annette on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:04pm

Just a few points to consider :

1- With CH, when a cycle is fully established, its almost impossible to contain it. Medications may not work very well then. The idea is that as soon as the cycle starts, before the hits get bad, he should get on meds immediately such as prednisone taper and some preventives, along with abortives. So if next cycle your husband does the same thing now and wait until the pain is bad enough ie a kip 9 or 10, 5-6 times a day before he goes to see a doctor, he might find the meds prescribed not too effective.

2- Before making the diagnosis, doctors would order CT/MRI scan to rule out other nasties. Some wouldnt prescribe anything until they get the results. That could be done now to save time.

3- Its not that easy to get an appt with a good neurologist, the waiting time can be weeks or even months. If your husband gets to know one now, he will be able to get an urgent appt in the future.

What I am trying to help you and him prevent, is the situation where he is deep into a cycle, with several high kip hits, unable to eat/sleep/work, and having to sit there suffering waiting for weeks to get a scan or just to get an appointment.

If your husband works, there is a chance that CH can get bad enough that he wont be able to. My own husband lost his dream job because his last cycle went for 8 months, while we thought it would only be going for 6-8 weeks.

Even if the pain isnt bad now, he can still see the doctor and describe to him/her what it was like at its worst. CH is diagnosed on symptoms. At least the doctor will be aware that he may have it , that he will need urgent appt in the future and that he may have the scan done early.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Annette on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:09pm

on 04/02/08 at 13:35:19, monty wrote:
Not only can they claim to have it without a doctor's permission, they often do have it.  Misdiagnosis is common for cluster headache; the most recent studies showed that it is taking less time to get diagnosed with clusters, but patients still have to go through several doctors to get the correct label for what ails them.  In 2000, one study found that patients had to see an average of 4.3 doctors (which took 6.6 years) to get a diagnosis of CH.



Monty, I think you misunderstood me completely. I didnt say that unless a doctor diagnoses CH you cant have it. I am simply saying, medically and legally you cant claim to have CH by yourself. For eg, if you miss days off work because of CH, you cant claim sick pay unless you have a doctors certificate saying that is what you have. Social security, medicare, insurance companies etc dont care if you do really have it or not, they simply wont accept the diagnosis unless its from a doctor.

That was what I meant.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:26pm
Annette - If only it was that easy - I know you are trying to help...but you are only scaring me - not him - if this happens, if that happens.....we don't know what will happen...as for doctors....we don't have insurance either, so just to get an MRI is going to be around $500 - and medication - I hate to think of it....soyou've just made me more neurotic - but I will tell him what you have written - at least I can do that for us - even if he doesn't want to hear it.......I can call and set up an appointment with a neuro and at least have his name in the books.......
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:29pm
didn't mean to offend brewcrew - really,,,I'm just nuts reading all these posts - male, female......I was talking in terms of being a sufferer and not wanting to go to a doctor
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by brewcrew on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:36pm
You said:


Quote:
Being a woman, you empathize more I think than men do...and men are far more stubborn than women when it comes to doctors...

Sorry, but I take offense. You have a number of people laying it out here, trying to help, and this is what we get in return.

I'm done trying six ways to Sunday to get your husband to go to a friggin' doctor. He's a big boy. If he considers life with a dagger in his eye tolerable, who am I to say it's not?

Have a nice day.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by thebbz on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:38pm
No empathy here. Go to the doc or suffer. His choice.
all the best
thebb
Myguess: It dont hurt enuf
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:45pm
I'm sorry if I offended all of you - obviously when I started this thread I didn't expect to be inundated with information about what will happen if he doesn't go to the doctor - I am well aware of that - I could leave him, would that be better? No! I will stick by him and tell him every day that I am scared for him and as much as he tells me not to worry I will - but I cannot force a human being to do what he is not ready to do - and he isn't. I can lay the groundwork and pray - that is what I have done and I am proud of it. I am sorry if I hurt someone's feelings because I have not taken their advice - to my heart I have - and that's all I can do right now. I think this is agreat website and it has helped  thousands, including me. Forgive me for being ignorant about this illness. Michelle
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by thebbz on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:48pm
No offense sweetie, you rock. He'll go when it hurts enuf.
all the best
thebb
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by brewcrew on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:51pm
Don't play the victim. You have done what you can.

What offends me is the man-trashing shit you threw out there ("...you empathize more I think than men do...and men are far more stubborn than women when it comes to doctors..." ). Screw that. You don't know any of us personally, and there are a number of men on this site - my brothers - who are some of the most empathetic and open-minded human beings I have ever had the privilege to meet.

So you can knock that shit off yesterday.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Annette on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:51pm

I am sorry I didnt mean to scare you. I just remember how it was for us when my husband started his first cycle. Looking back I wished someone had told us how bad it could get so we could be more prepared for it.

I can understand if you dont have insurance the cost would be a big influential factor.

There isnt an easy solution, is there? I guess the best thing to do is to make him aware of the different scenarios that can happen with CH, so that at least if he doesnt do anything now, he may be able to act more quickly next time.

As a wife and a supporter, my heart goes out to you. I would like you to know that you are welcome here and that you can always find support for yourself . You are most welcome to PM or email me any time if you need someone to talk to.

Hugs and painfree wishes to both of you.

[smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by vietvet2tours on Apr 2nd, 2008, 4:55pm
Watch this video of Tony.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAf_QFmTPkw
if your husband looks like this he might have ch.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 5:17pm
I've seen all those videos and my husband has never been like that........it hurts to watch, but I did
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 5:18pm
Thanks Annette- Pain free days and nights to you and yours.........thank you, thank you 8)
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by aubmari on Apr 2nd, 2008, 5:18pm
just my  [smiley=twocents.gif].......

How many of us here wouldn't try to get info to help a loved one in pain regardless of what it is, CH or something else. We cant force someone to see a physician if they are set against it but I would still support and try to help.

I think it is great that you are trying to get info for your husband and I know if in the same situation I would do what ever I could to try to help. He may or may not have CH and really that can only be diagnosed by a Dr. :-/

I truely hope that he goes to the Dr. and gets some relief soon.

Aubmari
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 5:39pm
Aubmari - thanks for your 2cents - it means more to me than that - I will keep on trying to get him to go at least be diagnosed with whatever he's got! He's been pain free for the last day and a half - no shadows, or twinges.......we can only hope and keep trying to suggest we see a doctor before and if another attack happens soon 8)
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 5:41pm
[quote author=brewcrew link=board=general;num=1207092224;start=50#58 date=04/02/08 at 16:51:17]Don't play the victim. You have done what you can.

What offends me is the man-trashing shit you threw out there
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Mybelle on Apr 2nd, 2008, 5:43pm
I am so sorry - my thoughts are coming out faster than my brain can sort out - I am married to a compassionate man and should know better - compassionate for others I might add more than himself - please forgive  :( :(
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by vietvet2tours on Apr 2nd, 2008, 5:44pm

on 04/02/08 at 17:17:17, Mybelle wrote:
I've seen all those videos and my husband has never been like that........it hurts to watch, but I did


Then he has a headache.  Done and gone.

           Potter
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by CostaRicaKris on Apr 2nd, 2008, 6:41pm
I balled my eyes out the first time I saw that video, because that is me when I'm having an attack.  

Mybelle, after years of being in horrible pain, misdiagnosed and treated like a crazed drug seeker; I can't tell you how happy and relieved I was to finally be properly diagnosed and given the correct meds. Energy drinks and Meletonin only do so much.

That being said, my husband always refuses to go to the Dr too. I have been known to make the appointments for him and let him know while we're in the car on the way over. (just an idea) I do admire you for all that you are doing for your hubbie!
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Charlie on Apr 2nd, 2008, 10:40pm
As for being scared, you're not alone. If your husband has clusters, at least it won't kill him or do much of anything but make life miserable for him and you while he is getting hit. Most of us spent months or even years with this horror before getting a correct diagnosis and as you can see, we are still a lovable fun-loving bunch  8)

I agree with you that men are often more stubborn when it comes to seeking treatment. I believe that clusterheads are not in this group though. It would be nuts to not look into it...if nothing else, to rule out some other horror.

On the natural front....don't depend on it. I hate to say it but it's like trying to knock out an elephant with a peanut. You need to deal with the medical profession on this one.

We're on your side, kid. It's just that a lot of us are impatient when someone can't or won't get help.

Let us know how things are going and if you get some help.

Charlie
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by brewcrew on Apr 2nd, 2008, 10:56pm

on 04/02/08 at 17:43:46, Mybelle wrote:
I am so sorry - my thoughts are coming out faster than my brain can sort out - I am married to a compassionate man and should know better - compassionate for others I might add more than himself - please forgive  :( :(

All is forgiven. And I apologize for not fully considering the amount of stress you've been under.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by LeLimey on Apr 3rd, 2008, 4:23am
My biggest concern here is Clusters won't kill him.

Something else more sinister being overlooked because you both THINK he has clusters COULD.

Where exactly did you get your medical degree? I'm not being as harsh as I sound, I'm just deadly serious and very concerned that because he has some of the symptoms and red bull helps he has decided it is CH.

Why don't you ask some of the others here about people who have signed up here, gone to see a neuro and found out they had a tumour and not CH?

I'm not going to girl thingyfoot about and say oh try and get him to a doctor. Would be prefer a funeral director maybe? You do not know what this is, nor do we.  For one there are about 600 headache types so naturally enough, symptoms overlap and it takes a headache specialist to give an accurate diagnosis.

Now, whilst you have said some of his symptoms tie up with CH, others don't. We've gone through three pages of people trying to give you advice and you coming up with excuses as to why you can't take it.

You came here looking for help/answers. You've been given both. Now do something with it.
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by jimmers on Apr 3rd, 2008, 9:28am
Touche Helen!

Jimmers
Title: Re: Not hurting enuf?
Post by Tiannia on Apr 3rd, 2008, 1:11pm
Brew and all of the other guys here. Many of you have put a stiff foot up my arse when I needed it. But when it comes to anything, I know that this is the place I can go and that I can trust you all more then 99% of the people that I see and deal with face to face day after day.

I hope that he decides that it is worth seeing a doc.  I know that it is expensive without ins. But there has to be some sort of clinic that you can go to and make sure that it is not something else.  There are preventatives that are not that expensive.  Especially if his are mild, he might not require some of the heavy duty meds.  As for abortives, well they can be expensive. But I was willing to pay anything to make the hit stop after 6+ a day. So it is hard for me to understand that he is not willing to see if he can get some relief. But I know that not all CH is alike.  So I'll take it with a grain of salt that his worse hit is what I used to pray for.  May he never get hit worse them that.

Get him the paperwork from here. If he wont keep a HA journal, then keep one for him. Maybe seeing just how ofter he gets them and the Kip level, might get him to see how much this is effecting his life.  And you will have something to show the doctor, when he does decide to go.

PF Wishes for both of you.
Tia


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