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Title: Somebody...... Post by thebbz on Feb 1st, 2008, 1:37pm make me laugh. Please It ain't easy bein me. [smiley=oops.gif] thebb |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Cathi_Pierce on Feb 1st, 2008, 1:42pm AWW, John! OKOK.......lemme think here....................let's see.......... offcolor jokes.......... pratfalls.......... I KNOW! Grab yourself a psychedelic frog. lick some part of it......... OH, I know! Pop onto the Cal OUCH site and take a look at Joe........ulp..............in all his glory! That's just wrong, on soo many levels, BUT FUNNY! PF wishes taking a ride on snowflakes to Montany for you........... Cathi :-* (it's a platonic kiss, Joan!) |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Linda_Howell on Feb 1st, 2008, 1:43pm I'm a nobody, so that may discount me, but I'll try anyway. John....go to work. Kiss Joan and get in yer truck and get something accomplished. You'll feel better. When ya find one of those Sapphires, sendf it to me to assay for ya. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Jimi on Feb 1st, 2008, 1:56pm Ok, I'll try. IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.." We haven't used Sears repair since. IDIOT SIGHTING My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. IDIOT SIGHTING : I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." >From Kingman , KS .. IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce. From Kansas City IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham , Ala. IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS IDIOT SIGHTING : At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the- headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments. IDIOT SIGHTING : I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less. IDIOT SIGHTING : When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi STAY ALERT! |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Guiseppi on Feb 1st, 2008, 2:05pm Okay I'm a natural born grump and I had the giggles halfway thru that!!!! Thinking of you Bzzzzzzz Guiseppi |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Melissa on Feb 1st, 2008, 2:13pm http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/3/pyzamsticktattoo.jpg http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/3/pyzambellybird.jpg http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/9/pyzamhitit.jpg http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/d/pyzamslinky.jpg http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/0/pyzamtenniscat.jpg and of course a classic clip... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFPp5WfE-Yg |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Woobie on Feb 1st, 2008, 2:19pm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Ryj1ywoqw This is 45 minutes long - but funny as hell... especially the end. should keep you laughing for a while. ;;D feel better woobs :-* |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Rosybabe on Feb 1st, 2008, 2:22pm http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa12/landonpiggfan/funny%20stuff/funny.jpg http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc318/imstumpysgirl/Random%20Stuff/funny.jpg http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n34/sunriseadams69/Cute%20stuff/funny.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/Snowthief/Transfer%20stuff/funny.jpg http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c114/snoopy_2054/funny%20stuff/funny.jpg http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a334/Gflo79/1%20Funny%20Stuff/funny.jpg |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by thebbz on Feb 1st, 2008, 2:24pm http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/blackeye/small3dblackeye.gif That's got a grin growing. I want more.....alway's more. thebb http://smilies.vidahost.com/ups/DeNiro/fight.gif |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by karma on Feb 1st, 2008, 2:45pm GIANTS WIN |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by pattik on Feb 1st, 2008, 2:48pm http://i25.tinypic.com/2r2pr3n.jpg |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by midwestbeth on Feb 1st, 2008, 3:44pm Reading Jimi's Idiot post reminded me of this true story. Couple years ago my husband, John, was on his way home from work and saw a sign at DQ saying that ice cream sandwiches were on sale. He goes to the drive thru and asks for 1/2 dozen ice cream sandwiches. The response? "I'm sorry sir, they only come in boxes of 6." He said "Let me guess, you're 18 and blond." "OK, I'll take a box of 6." She was 18, blond, and this is our future folks [smiley=huh.gif] Note: no offense intended to blonds out there. Post redhead joke if you like ;) Beth |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by JDH on Feb 1st, 2008, 3:47pm on 02/01/08 at 15:44:17, midwestbeth wrote:
You asked for it: What’s the difference between a terrorist and a redhead? … you can negotiate with a terrorist. |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by midwestbeth on Feb 1st, 2008, 3:50pm on 02/01/08 at 15:47:52, JDH wrote:
LMAO ;;D Beth |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by deltadarlin on Feb 1st, 2008, 5:46pm http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/tribander_3/untitled.jpg Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job.' Mujibar said, 'I am ready.' The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow , Pink and Green .' Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister manager, I am ready.' The manager said, 'Go ahead.' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, ' Yellow ', this is Mujibar.' Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems. No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have. I laugh at you! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/tribander_3/New%20Arrivals%20April%2030%202006/IMG_3306.jpg |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Jackie on Feb 1st, 2008, 6:00pm http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/catfun-skryt.jpg |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by artonio7 on Feb 1st, 2008, 6:17pm http://www.imgshare.net/Datafolder/family/0bikers.gif |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by cash5542 on Feb 1st, 2008, 6:37pm [smiley=ohjez.gif]Tony!!!! About the same time I looked at that post, Erik said, "Get yourself a bun and get dinner "(we're having hamburgers) It made your post even better! Charlotte |
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Title: Re: Somebody......TRUE STORY UNLESS MY MATES FULL Post by caoimhin on Feb 1st, 2008, 6:51pm A true story, unless my mate was havin me on. A migdet got onto a packed bus and a young girl at the front of the bus got up and kindly offered him her seat. He shouted furiously, ' i might be a fckin midget but im not a handicap i can fckin stand like everyone else'. The girl shocked and embarrassed sat back down, the bus fell completly silent... until a woman at the back started to make her way of the bus... just as she passed the midget she turned and said ' I hope snow white kicks the shit out of ya when you get home coz your a grumpy wee shit'. the bus erupted with laughter |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by cash5542 on Feb 1st, 2008, 7:04pm An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Nancy asked if there was anything wrong, "Yes, Nurse Nancy," said Mr. Wallace, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad. " Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace, please accept my condolences." The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas. He met Nurse Nancy. " Mr.Wallace, "she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that . Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas. " "But, Nurse Nancy," replied Mr. Wallace, "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died." "Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas? " Well, he replied, "Today's the viewing. |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Jonny on Feb 1st, 2008, 8:14pm on 02/01/08 at 14:45:36, karma wrote:
LMMFAO!!!....Not that there is funny! [smiley=grin2.gif] Now smile, BBZ....you prick! :-* http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3dd26b3127cce9fbec11f086200000016108AZM2bNk5bM6 |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by thebbz on Feb 3rd, 2008, 3:56pm ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D much better now. clusterheads rock thebb |
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Title: Re: Somebody...... Post by Charlie on Feb 3rd, 2008, 5:49pm Glad you're better so get ready for the game: http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/pom pom.gif Charlie 8) |
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