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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> Marriage 
        
(Message started by: gore2424 on Dec 28^th, 2007, 11:57am)

Title: Marriage
Post by gore2424 on Dec 28^th, 2007, 11:57am

Marriage (Part I )

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time

I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless

I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing

when I want with my old buddies, and don't you

give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:

"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex

here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************************

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

*****************************************

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast tab le.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"

and storms out of the house. After some time he realizes he was nasty and

decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband

says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

*****************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his

wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is time to go home

and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts

at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,

shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

*****************************************

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife

to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece

of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it

was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he

noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

*****************************************

God may have created man before woman, but there

is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Dec 29^th, 2007, 7:48am

Very Good !!! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by llreed on Dec 29^th, 2007, 8:31pm

Note to self -
Not all created equal but we certainly entertain each another. Who can say marriage is boring when you have your whole life torture each other. Thank God for the little things. :)

llreed

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by kcopelin on Jan 3^rd, 2008, 1:11am

Then there is a real tombstone in Key West that reads..."At least I know where he's sleeping tonight." ;;D

Right next to the one that says 'I told you I was sick"

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]
kathy

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by sandie99 on Jan 7^th, 2008, 12:41pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D ;;D ;;D

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by mummymac on Jan 7^th, 2008, 1:24pm

I thought these were so funny I sent them around work,
THEY WERE A BIG HIT

Thanks

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by Jonny on Jan 20^th, 2008, 1:41am

SWEET! ;;D

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by imfareware on Jan 20^th, 2008, 8:37pm

Very Nice!

Title: Re: Marriage
Post by Ghost on Jan 23^rd, 2008, 9:48am

I would say im dyn but my wife said I died years ago and she is waiting for rigermortise too set in! ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif]

Mike