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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> ABSOLUTELY TOOOOOO CORNY NOT TO SHARE
        
(Message started by: gore2424 on Aug 25^th, 2007, 1:01am)

Title: ABSOLUTELY TOOOOOO CORNY NOT TO SHARE
Post by gore2424 on Aug 25^th, 2007, 1:01am

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
>ceremony
>wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
>
> > 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
>you,
>but don't start anything."
>
>
> > 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
>
> > 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>
> > 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says
>"A
>beer please, and one for the road."
>
> > 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
>taste funny to you?"
>
> > 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home. "That
>sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, it's not
>unusual."
>
> > 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
>Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning. "I don't believe
>you, "says
>Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"
>
> > 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
>to
>look at either.
>
> > 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
>
> > 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
>find any.
>
> > 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
>"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know You
>can't -
>I've cut off your arms!"
>
> > 13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
>
>14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
>
>15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
>says
>"Dam!"
>
>16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
>craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
>kayak and heat it too.
>
>17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
>the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
>hour,
>the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse, "But
>why?",
>they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand
>chess-nuts
>boasting in an open foyer."
>
>18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes To
>a
>family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
>Spain;
>they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
>birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husbandthat she
>wishes
>she also had a picture of Ahmal Her husband responds, "They're twins! If
>you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
>
>19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
>produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
>little,
>which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
>breath.
>This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)... A super calloused
>fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
>
>And finally,
>20. There was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends,
>with
>the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in
>ten did.

Title: Re: ABSOLUTELY TOOOOOO CORNY NOT TO SHARE
Post by aloneuk on Aug 25^th, 2007, 6:29am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: ABSOLUTELY TOOOOOO CORNY NOT TO SHARE
Post by sandie99 on Aug 26^th, 2007, 8:46am

[smiley=laugh.gif]