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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> Decoding english
        
(Message started by: JeffB on Apr 20^th, 2007, 12:01pm)

Title: Decoding english
Post by JeffB on Apr 20^th, 2007, 12:01pm

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous.............................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking.........................Moooo.
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure......................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
Friendship first........................Former very *friendly* person.
New-Age.................................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned...........................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.............................Desperate.
Outgoing................................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional............................Bitch.
Voluptuous..............................Very fat.
Large frame.............................Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate.........................Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes.....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe................................. .No
We need.................................I want
I am sorry..............................You'll be sorry
We need to talk.........................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead..........................You better not
Do what you want........................You will pay for this later
I am not upset..........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight................Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry.............................I am hungry
I am sleepy.............................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored..............................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?................I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.

Title: Re: Decoding english
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Apr 27^th, 2007, 5:23am

[smiley=laugh.gif [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Decoding english
Post by Rosybabe on May 8^th, 2007, 10:05pm

[smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Decoding english
Post by Lejla on May 9^th, 2007, 12:34pm

So true! [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Decoding english
Post by MR_FLOOR on May 31^st, 2007, 12:12am

Perfect [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Decoding english
Post by tanner on May 31^st, 2007, 1:58am

;;D [smiley=laugh.gif]
;;D

Title: Re: Decoding english
Post by taraann on May 31^st, 2007, 8:59am

hahah it reminded me of this one...

http://www.pyzam.com/php/funpix/misc/fun8.gif

Title: Re: Decoding english
Post by mynm156 on Jun 1^st, 2007, 4:31am

[smiley=laugh.gif]