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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> New ATM Procedures....
        
(Message started by: tanner on Feb 22^nd, 2007, 1:05pm)

Title: New ATM Procedures....
Post by tanner on Feb 22^nd, 2007, 1:05pm

A sign in the bank lobby reads: "Please note that this bank is installing a new drive-through ATM machine enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car..
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of
checkebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Title: Re: New ATM Procedures....
Post by jimmers on Feb 22^nd, 2007, 2:13pm

;;D

Title: Re: New ATM Procedures....
Post by sandie99 on Feb 25^th, 2007, 4:04am

::) ::) ::)

Title: Re: New ATM Procedures....
Post by BB on Feb 26^th, 2007, 3:58am

After further research, we find the need to put up this caution :

" This is a drive- through ATM machine, but please refraine from actually driving THROUGH it. You dont need to do so to access your money.
To the potential robbers, this is NOT a suggestion "

8) ;;D

Annette