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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> computer vs auto industries
        
(Message started by: burnt-toast on Jan 21^st, 2007, 11:24am)

Title: computer vs auto industries
Post by burnt-toast on Jan 21^st, 2007, 11:24am

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

Now if auto manufactures like GM had actually developed technology like the computer industry we would all be driving vehicles with the following characteristics.

1. For no reason whatsoever all vehicles would crash themselves twice a year.

2. Every time the brakes are replaced, drivers would discover that a new transmission is required to make the new brakes to function properly

3. Drivers would be required to buy expensive upgrades for older vehicles or buy new vehicles every time a road is repaved or lines repainted.

4. Failing to purchase frequent upgrades or driving vehicle models that no longer support the latest upgrades would cause vehicles to die on the road for no apparent reason. Drivers would just have to accept this, restart, and drive on.

5. After a certain age, regardless of being fully updated, vehicles would simply shut down and refuse to restart, in which case drivers would have to install a new engine or buy a new vehicle.

6. Only one person would be permitted in a vehicle until drivers purchased "multi passenger vehicle” licenses but then these drivers would discover that they also needed to buy additional seating licenses for every passenger in the vehicle.

7. One company like Subaru would manufacture vehicles powered by the sun, more reliable, five times faster and twice as easy to drive but these would only run on five percent of the roads.

8. All warning lights (oil pressure, water temperature, trunk/door ajar, alternator, etc.) would be combined into one useless "general car default" warning light that disabled vehicles until drivers figured out what was wrong.

9. Before making turns, braking, accelerating starting, stopping, etc., drivers would be required to respond to prompts like "Are you really sure?" before continuing with each maneuver.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, vehicles would lock drivers out and refuse to let them in until a technician was paid to simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, grab hold of the radio antenna and one additional something that drivers were not permitted to see.

11. Manufactures would require drivers to purchase deluxe sets of road maps from subsidiaries and install features that no one understands, needs or wants. Attempting to operate vehicles without these features would diminish the vehicle’s performance by 50% and increase the occurrence of driver lockouts that require intervention by technicians.

12. When model changes and new vehicle lines are introduced drivers would have to learn how to drive all over again because controls would not operate the same manner as the old vehicles, and the steering wheel would be in a new location that was not necessarily in close proximity to the brake or accelerator.

Title: Re: computer vs auto industries
Post by sandie99 on Jan 26^th, 2007, 5:36am

[smiley=laugh.gif]

Good one! ;;D