Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> A Christmas Story
        
(Message started by: tanner on Dec 4^th, 2006, 4:55am)

Title: A Christmas Story
Post by tanner on Dec 4^th, 2006, 4:55am

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e374/haywoodboss/santa3.jpg

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those not a very nice persons from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e374/haywoodboss/santa2.jpg

Title: Re: A Christmas Story
Post by AussieBrian on Dec 4^th, 2006, 10:02pm

Santa was doing it tough with only one day to go. The elves were on strike for higher pay, the reindeer all had red noses after breaking open the wine barrel and had crashed the sliegh, Mrs Claus had PMS. Even Little Angel hadn't returned with a Christmas tree.

Eventually Little Angel did come back and said, "Hey, fat man, where do you want this stupid tree?" and so now, boys and girls, you know why the tree is decorated in such a way.