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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> Job Application
        
(Message started by: georgej on Sep 23^rd, 2006, 10:47pm)

Title: Job Application
Post by georgej on Sep 23^rd, 2006, 10:47pm

This passed along to me:

It's apparently an actual job application that a 75 year old man submitted to a Walmart in Arkansas.

According to what I'm told, they hired him.

----------------------------------------

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate.)

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz-style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVENMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 to 3:30 pm Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITIONS?: I may already be a winner of the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Title: Re: Job Application
Post by Barry_T_Coles on Sep 23^rd, 2006, 11:51pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]