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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> just a little humor
        
(Message started by: tanner on Jun 8^th, 2006, 3:08pm)

Title: just a little humor
Post by tanner on Jun 8^th, 2006, 3:08pm

DEGREES OF COMPASSION

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had one arm but no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a long passionate kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said, "Have you ever been f ****d?" The fellow excitedly said, "No!" She said, "You will be when the tide comes in."

MAD ETHEL

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge
around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to
maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one
sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some of
them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky
Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a
firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around
in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him.
"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold
popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of
insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster
and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of
her, Butt- Naked, and holding his "You-Know- What" in his hand. "Oh,
good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!"

.....................TIM

Title: Re: just a little humor
Post by jimmymac on Jun 8^th, 2006, 11:27pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]