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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> Who thinks of these things
        
(Message started by: Barry_T_Coles on May 25^th, 2006, 12:43am)

Title: Who thinks of these things
Post by Barry_T_Coles on May 25^th, 2006, 12:43am

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road!"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
" Well, It's Not Unusual."

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids are nothing to look
at either.

I tried to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!".

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other
says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer!"

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!"

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail -- and with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad breath. This made him . . . (This is so bad, it's good!) . . A super
calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to her
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.

Title: Re: Who thinks of these things
Post by sandie99 on May 25^th, 2006, 10:55am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Who thinks of these things
Post by jimmymac on May 25^th, 2006, 7:42pm

;;D

Title: Re: Who thinks of these things
Post by jimmymac on May 25^th, 2006, 7:43pm

on 05/25/06 at 19:42:26, jimmymac wrote:

;;D

:),i wish i had an ear for it .

Title: Re: Who thinks of these things
Post by Jasmyn on May 29^th, 2006, 7:06pm

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. [smiley=laugh.gif]

I talk like this when in cycle ::)

Title: Re: Who thinks of these things
Post by Guiseppi on May 29^th, 2006, 9:39pm

Three guys walk into a bar.......you think the third guy woulda ducked........................badabing

Guiseppi

Title: Re: Who thinks of these things
Post by kcopelin on May 30^th, 2006, 3:23pm

Dyslexic agnostic with insomnia?
someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

badabing

;;D