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        Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!
        
(Message started by: Barry_T_Coles on Apr 30^th, 2006, 8:34pm)

Title: Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!
Post by Barry_T_Coles on Apr 30^th, 2006, 8:34pm

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus/Mars things. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
For Example:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said " What???!!!! What was that?!
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day, I opted to take the day off work and spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'll just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a
pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you....she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I
said, "That's fine honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go the to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"What????!!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added.
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!

Title: Re: Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!
Post by jimmymac on May 1^st, 2006, 7:05pm

[smiley=sayyes.gif],really good. ;;D.