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Title: Worst part a bout clusters... Post by August on Feb 21st, 2002, 7:10pm fo r me , is knowing and seeing the effect it has on the people i l ove. I can't think clearl y when i ' m in too much pai n, and even after it' s g one . Sleep deprivation and the meds i' m on fucks with everything. Then a wake up call happens and I see too clearl y how i' ve hurt someo ne because i wasn' t being aware en ough. I think that hurts wo rst in many ways . Cluster pain you get through and it hurts onl y you..... but the pain you cause others lasts and you can't take it ba ck or ch ange it. My he art hurts worst than my he ad. Sometimes it feels like being alone.....so you can' t affect anyon e is best. |
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Title: Re: Worst part a bout clusters... Post by susieQ on Feb 21st, 2002, 8:55pm But August, you're forgetting about one of the greatest rewards of loving someone. The promise that even when you do screw up - they will love you anyway. We say and do things we regret when we are hurting. Those who know you, know that you are kind hearted and a true angel. Rest easy and know that you are a human and you are loved. I know you don't know me, but I have been around for over a year and from the beginning, I was struck by your sensitivity and courage. Just wanted you to know and I hope you are feeling better. fondly, susieQ |
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Title: Re: Worst part a bout clusters... Post by August on Feb 21st, 2002, 9:46pm Tha nks Su sie , your kind w or ds mea nt alot to me righ t now . |
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Title: Re: Worst part a bout clusters... Post by nancyc on Feb 21st, 2002, 10:20pm Hey sis, i know about that heart ache too...but I also know that there is nothing we can do to avoid hurting the ones we love...if we could, we would...unfortunately, sometimes love hurts. It is not fair but it is true...Know this, you are loved here and we will always be here for you to lean on when things get too tough...that is what love is all about...smiles, nancyc |
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Title: Re: Worst part a bout clusters... Post by murphysmom on Feb 22nd, 2002, 8:07am August: It seems like I spend more time yelling at my husband than loving him...but he's still here. All my friends are still here...I feel stupid apologizing after a cycle where I've been mean to everyone from strangers to my neurologists to my neighbors to my dogs, but they all seem to accept and love me anyway... I am blessed. I thank the compassionate Universe everyday for the loving human spirit, that can see past my pain to my heart that is good and loving and means no harm...just wants relief....that's all clusterheads want...relief, I think the people that love us know that. I praying for you sister. Murphysmom |
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Title: Re: Worst part a bout clusters... Post by traym4 on May 15th, 2003, 2:13am DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. MY HUSBAND HAS CLUSTER HEADACHES, AND YES IT WAS REALLY HARD AT FIRST TO UNDERSTAND HIS BEHAVIOR. I UNDERSTAND NOW. WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT THAT WHEN HE IS IN A CYCLE HE CAN SAY OR DO ANYTHING HE WANTS I LOOK THE OTHER WAY. WHATEVER MAKES HIM FEEL A LITTLE BETTER. I WILL DO ANYTHING TO HELP HIM, AND IF YOU ARE TRULEY LOVED THEY WOULD DO THE SAME THING. YOU ARE DEALING WITH A DEMON WORST THAN ANY OF US NON SUFFERERS CAN IMAGINE. GOOD LUCK AND JUST BE OPEN AN HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER. WHEN THESE THINGS FIRST STARTED WE FOUGHT ALOT!!! IT WAS NOT UNTIL WAS SAT DOWN AND TALKED AND HE EXPLAINED TO ME THE FEELING OF BEING OUT OF CONTROL OF HIS OWN BODY. HE PRETTY MUCH SAID THAT DURING HIS ATTACK/CYCLCES HE CAN'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE ELSE, NOT THAT HE DOESN'T CARE. JUST THAT THE PAIN IS SO INTENSE HE ALMOST HAS NO CONTROL. I LOVE HIM TO DEATH AND JUST WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING TO HELP HIM. GOOD LUCK. |
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