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        New Message Board Archives >> Oct-Dec 2003 >> Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
        
(Message started by: Carl_D on Dec 6^th, 2003, 11:58pm)

Title: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by Carl_D on Dec 6^th, 2003, 11:58pm

I've been 'the bad guy' to a couple of band members who have been pissed at me because of getting attacks (Which is a waste of time) and the fact that, after waking up sunday morning at 7:30am, I had only slept one night, Tuesday. Was awoke 3 times by the beast, aborted 2 and the 3rd lasted an hour and a half. Was supposed to be up by 9am...but when I looked at the clock - my head said"GET UP" but I couldn't function. Sat in the bathroom for about 20 minutes before I could get going again. Then last night, Got hit with a 10 that lasted 2 hours, so it was my fault that we didn't get the shit done that needed to be. Imagine that. I passed out this morning at 5am. Was supposed to be up at 11am, but couldn't function til 5pm, so once again I am the bad guy. I feel like shit, I'm coming down with a cold, and my nerves are completely SHOT - and nobody around me understands. All I hear about is how I am fucking things up. It doesn't seem to matter that I have been working almost nonstop for the last 2 weeks trying to get this event together.
So, I am just saying 'fuckit' pretty much. I have to, otherwise I'll go insane dealing with all of the BS. It doesn't really matter. For everybody else in the band, this is just another gig. For me, it is much much more.
One thing I am doing for the next OUCHFest in September 2004 is seeking volunteers to help get the things that need to be done completed.
Gonna go relax, and just smile. I get to meet DJ tomorrow, so it's all good.

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by OneEyeBlind on Dec 7^th, 2003, 12:17am

Smiles to ya about meeting DJ. Hope everything else works out for ya as well.

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by Linda_Howell on Dec 7^th, 2003, 12:19am

Carl,

You are NOT shutting down. Do you hear me?

You have worked long and hard on this and it's almost a reality. Get a grip and do what has to be done. I hate it when I sound like my mother.

LindaH

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by cootie on Dec 7^th, 2003, 1:59am

Carl I think you are awesome......you must be a very talented guy to be in such demand....remember that.........YOU........you ARE GREAT........let them other guys catch up with you.......slow down. Yer needed.....let em come to YOU ! Oh and you get to meet DJ......pssssssst.......he's a HUNK !!! Pam that knows a hunk and good talent when she hears or see's it

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by Carl_D on Dec 7^th, 2003, 2:21am

on 12/07/03 at 00:19:42, Linda_Howell wrote:

You are NOT shutting down. Do you hear me?

I'm okay now, but yesterday I snapped under the pressure I was under and wasn't even able to talk for almost an hour, and it took 4 hours for me to come out of being a nervous wreck and shaking and bawling every ten minutes. I just got so overwhelmed I guess, and dealing with everybody barreling down on me to get everything done just fried me. I've only had the 'shutdown' mode happen to me 4 times in my life.
Just had to say to myself "some things won't get done but it will be okay." To add to the pressure, the band went to City Limits tonight to confirm what time we can start setting things up, and they basically almost forgot the event was taking place. So now we have to find someone to run sound and someone to work the door all night to collect admission. It's like Jonny said to me on the phone tonight, even if we have only a small turnout, that'll be 50 or 100 dollars more for OUCH - but I hope we pack the place out. If that happens, then my labor paid off. If not, that's okay too. There are alot of annual events that started out small and grew over the years. I do know the next OUCHFest will be a bigger one, as my oldest brother's best friend and a good friend of mine, Todd Jones plays in a country/rock band called "The Well Hungarians" that packs the house anywhere they play. Todd knows the hell I have gone through with the CH, and I'm sure they will do the benefit. I am going to try and get bigger name bands for 2004. The only thing I can confirm right now for OUCHFest '04 is that it will be in September instead of holiday season, and it will be on a Saturday to allow travelers Sunday to leave for thier homes.
The one thing that I hope for next year is for more clusterheads to get involved. Anyway, got a few things to do before I can crash out so gotta jet.

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by OneEyeBlind on Dec 7^th, 2003, 3:29am

Just crash out, you have worked hard on this and deserve a rest. Make sure YOU enjoy it !!!!!!

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by Linda_Howell on Dec 7^th, 2003, 4:49am

And DJ ?

Give that boy some Molsons when you see him.

LindaH

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by Donna_D. on Dec 7^th, 2003, 11:30am

Carl,

I hope today will be much better for you. It doesn't matter how much you do....it will never all get done. I figured that one out just recently myself. :)

Take some time to enjoy life today.

I think that most people will agree that it doesn't matter if you have 1 or 1000 people at OUCHfest. The point is it is very much appreciated that you ARE DOING SOMETHING TO HELP! Remember that and enjoy.

Donna D.

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by jonny on Dec 7^th, 2003, 11:40am

Thats right Donna, this is the first of a yearly thing no one expects it to be huge.....Now OUCHFEST 2004...thats a different story, I will be emceeing that badboy.

This gives the folks over 9 months to plan for it and maybe Carl will have some help this time....the dude is doing all of this by himself, my hats off to you bro (if I wore a hat)

...............................jonny

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by jadedgazer on Dec 7^th, 2003, 11:47am

Carl,

We have a little mantra in our house....

Do the best you can with what you have and where you are right now....

And piss on everything else.

You can only do what you can do, you are only human and only one person. You have to take care of yourself, you have to allow for the problems that arise with CH and if those around you can't understand and deal with that...they will either learn to or they will go away. Don't stress yourself so much, stress is not good for you!

Shall we send Vito over? Have him 'splain things? :)

Wishing you PFDAN and stress free times.

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by JDH on Dec 7^th, 2003, 11:51am

Carl, tonight's gonna ROCK![smiley=headbanger.gif]

No worries man. Remember, no matter what happens you're doing a very cool thing here.
Just glad I'll be able to be a part of it
See ya'll later on tonight.

Jim

Title: Re: Under extreme pressure - I've shutdown
Post by nancyc on Dec 7^th, 2003, 6:51pm

Carl, I am so excited for you, bro..this is awesome...I only wish I lived closer so I could be there to support you in this event....But my thoughts and prayers are with you...Now, relax and enjoy yourself...you deserve to have some fun..and I know you will with DJ and Jim there....Drink a cold one for me, bro... ;;Dnancyc