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New Message Board Archives >> Oct-Dec 2003 >> Afraid ……
(Message started by: hootchdom on Nov 26th, 2003, 1:03pm)

Title: Afraid ……
Post by hootchdom on Nov 26th, 2003, 1:03pm

4 months 2 weeks, 128 days, 3072 hours, 184,320 minutes yes I  almost can remember every one of them. 6 headaches a day, over 700 in all, not more than 2 hours of sleep in a row for 4 months. 18 different prescriptions. DHE 45 for 5 days 3 times a day feeling like battery acid all in the hope of breaking the cycle.

I know go ahead and knock me off my soap box. It’s nothing all the rest of you haven’t gone through. Pure Hell !!!! (That’s why we are all going to Heaven !!!!!!)

Then last night just like clock work 1 ½ after I lay down I wake up with a  kip 5, Oxygen to abort, ½ latter back in bed. 1 hour later (12:00 am) up with a killer, kip 9, Oxygen does nothing, Imitrex nasal aborts in about 40 minutes, get back to sleep about 1:00 am.

Then a strange thing happens. Next thing I know its 7:00 am. FIRST TIME IN FOUR MONTHS I have slept 6 hours in a row. I wake up and I’m at a big fat 0. I haven’t been pain free in four months. So I think the headache will start in a few minutes nope still 0. Okay by the time I get to work, nope still 0. Okay now its 12:00 pm and I’m still PF.

Sorry it took so long to get to my subject line but here is my point. I’M AFRAID TO: eat, drink, swallow, blink, sneeze, cough, pee, poop, burp, belch, sleep, talk, smell, I think you get my point. I just dread the thought that I actually have any control of these things starting back up, If in fact they have even quit. How about my meds? Took them last night. Took them this morning. How long do I keep taking them? I’m even afraid to take them. I’m afraid not to take them. I’m almost having an anxiety attack because I’m not having a cluster headache (LMAO).

SO IN THE MEAN TIME I’M GOING TO ENJOY EVERY  PAIN FREE MOMENT !!!

Hootchdom.

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by thomas on Nov 26th, 2003, 1:09pm
I'm usually "gunshy" for about 2 weeks after my cycle.  Enjoy your pf time.

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by Paigelle on Nov 26th, 2003, 1:13pm
Been on prednisone for a week, today is my last day.  I know your fear.  I keep thinking, this is the last one, will I be hit tomorrow without it.  The fear when you are PF is horrible.  I go through it, like Thomas, for about 2 weeks.  Just waiting and wondering when and if.  Good luck!  Enjoy being PF.

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by TxBasslady on Nov 26th, 2003, 1:23pm
8)

Now THAT is great news, Hootch.....

Always good to hear someone is PF.        8)

PF vibes,

Jean

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by BlueMeanie on Nov 26th, 2003, 7:40pm
Glad to hear there is hope for you being PF. I usually don't do any yahhhhwhooing until I reach day 10. If & when I do reach that day, the beast is gone for at least 5 months before it returns. Good luck and I pray you get PF days forever, or, if not, at least a LONG LONG time !

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by stevegeebe on Nov 26th, 2003, 7:42pm
Run!, Hootch...Run!

Steve G

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by BarbaraD on Nov 26th, 2003, 7:45pm
Good news... Love to hear it.... Enjoy every minute of it.

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by ckelly181 on Nov 26th, 2003, 8:12pm
oh boy hootch, I hear ya...I finally brought the 02 tank back to the medical supply store today. Haven't had an attack in over 2 weeks, but I keep "feeling for wounds" expecting it to sneak up on me. Holding my breath at any tiny "ping" in my head...

I just decided I'm going to commit to this damn thing being DONE...and took back the tanks.

Here's to the bloody end...

In time for the holidays, cheer!!!

And I'm having some freakin' red wine tomorrow to celebrate...maybe...

Chris

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by Cerberus on Nov 26th, 2003, 8:42pm
Hootch,

 Hehe......great news, wanna buy a bubble? LOL!
Glad you're Pain free.


Ramon

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by Patrick_A on Nov 26th, 2003, 9:05pm
Keep takin them meds for at least another Week Hootch. Or at least start ur taper. I understand that dreaded feeling. If it comes back, at least ya know those meds were working!

Patrick

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by Renee on Nov 26th, 2003, 11:04pm
hootch,

since you are pf, could you go out and have some fun for ALL that are not pf tonight, please?

then come in and tell us what fun you had for us...we'd love to know what the real world is like without pain.

enjoy and don't forget us while you're having fun and congrats for being pf.

renee (aka txcowgirl)

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by jep22 on Nov 26th, 2003, 11:17pm
Remission is remission.  Like a lot of things in life there ain't much you can do except sit back and enjoy it.  After a 14 week bout with the demon, I was afraid I was becoming chronic but i've been pain free for 2 weeks now.
One way I test the status of my remission is if I can drink a beer without getting a HA.  Jim P.

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by BlueMeanie on Nov 26th, 2003, 11:43pm

on 11/26/03 at 23:17:36, jep22 wrote:
Remission is remission.  Like a lot of things in life there ain't much you can do except sit back and enjoy it.  After a 14 week bout with the demon, I was afraid I was becoming chronic but i've been pain free for 2 weeks now.
One way I test the status of my remission is if I can drink a beer without getting a HA.  Jim P.


What's a BEER taste like. I think I forgot.

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by nancyc on Nov 26th, 2003, 11:56pm
Hootch, now this is one Thanksgiving you will definetly remember...So happy for you! ;;Dnancyc

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by chronic_chic on Nov 27th, 2003, 12:26am
Hey Hootch!
It is great that you are having PF time!!!  Hope it keeps up for you!  I know that after I had this one treatment a couple of years ago, my headache dropped to about a 2...it was a GREAT feeling.  However, I remember telling the doc that I felt really "fragile", and I was sooooooo scared that it was gonna spike back up the minute I walked out into the sunlight or did anything that normally triggers a bad headache.  She told me I couldn't think like that.  I had to think that it was going to stay at a 2, no matter what!  Positive thinkin is what it's all about!!!   [smiley=laugh.gif]
If it does come back, I know you'll be very strong and deal with it the best you can, but for now...you gotta love that PF time, and just try to keep thinking that it's gonna stick around for awhile!!  Good luck and I hope you stay PF!!
~Lizzie  :)

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by sandie99 on Nov 27th, 2003, 5:18am
Hootch,
I'm so glaf to hear that you're PF! :)
It's always, always great news! I know how you feel, when there's suddenly a PF day, it's weird indeed...
But enjoy every moment of it! :) I keep my thumbs up that you get many, many, many, many PF days more!!!

Best wishes & PFdays,
sandie99

Title: Re: Afraid ……
Post by Charlie on Nov 27th, 2003, 5:49am
Great you are PF and I know exactly what you mean. I behaved in an even more demented way until I was sure the effer was gone.

Enjoy this and listen to these people. Some good advice here.

Charlie



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