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        New Message Board Archives >> Oct-Dec 2003 >> New Meds!!
        
(Message started by: Donna_D. on Nov 22^nd, 2003, 1:55am)

Title: New Meds!!
Post by Donna_D. on Nov 22^nd, 2003, 1:55am

These are the new meds for women...

D A M N I T O L :
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T :
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N :
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O :
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L :
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R :
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers (women's dosage is 1/4 that of men's).

M E N I C I L L I N :
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to touch lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... Can we get naked now?.."

B U Y A G R A :
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N :
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T :
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T :
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

[smiley=cool2.gif]

Donna D

Title: Re: New Meds!!
Post by ClusterChuck on Nov 22^nd, 2003, 2:14am

Hrumph!

(Typical wimmin crap!)

;) ;) ;) ;;D ;;D

Chuck

PS: I won't tell you that I am going to copy and paste that to email and sending it to friends and family.

Title: Re: New Meds!!
Post by Mikey on Nov 22^nd, 2003, 2:32am

My wife better not ever take the BUYAGRA, or slip me the NAGAMENT, or she would have to give me the FLIPITOR before i would kill somebody....LMAO!!!!

Mikey, ;;D..... [smiley=finger.gif]

Title: Re: New Meds!!
Post by sandie99 on Nov 22^nd, 2003, 8:51am

;;D

Title: Re: New Meds!!
Post by Kirk on Nov 22^nd, 2003, 2:19pm

Donna my sweet. You are a twisted, evil person and I for one am glad I know you.
May the Lord bless and keep you. Away from me.

TTFN

Title: Re: New Meds!!
Post by BarbaraD on Nov 22^nd, 2003, 2:31pm

on 11/22/03 at 14:19:30, Kirk wrote:

Donna my sweet. You are a twisted, evil person and I for one am glad I know you.
TTFN

Donna, you are my EVIL twin and the tears are streaming down my face from laughing.... Thanks I needed this today....

Hugs BD