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        Cluster Headache Help and Support >> Cluster Headache Specific >> Couldnt do it
        
(Message started by: Lebowski on Feb 10^th, 2008, 8:24am)

Title: Couldnt do it
Post by Lebowski on Feb 10^th, 2008, 8:24am

Got invited out with some friends and students from work last night and was too scared to drink any alcohol. I like to have a few beers here and there but never when I am in my cycle. This is a pretty good bar that has some really nice micro brews on tap too. And trying to explain to them why I cant drink is exhausting too.

The typical 'Oh I had a migraine once' and 'My Aunt gets migraines'
Oh well, I should be out of my cycle soon. Right before the summertime cookouts.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by DennisM1045 on Feb 10^th, 2008, 8:29am

I know the feeling too well. But having to explain the consequences is still not as bad as bringing the beast out of his cage is it.

Good on you for having the intestinal fortitude to resist the temptation. The beer isn't going anywhere. They'll make more when you're out of cycle.

-Dennis-

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by E-Double on Feb 10^th, 2008, 9:28am

Been there.
I used to be afraid of it triggering an attack.
One day I tried and it did not as it turned out I went chronic and like many who are (though some to still have it trigger) alcohol doesn't seem to trigger.

I did however refuse to let that get me down or get in the way of having a good time.

It's about the people not the coc-ktail!
Though there are a hell of a lot of good brews out there ;) ( better that be a wink in jest than horner's syndrome lol)

E

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by Bob_Johnson on Feb 10^th, 2008, 9:38am

People REALLY don't want the details. Make up a one sentence reason for not drinking like: "it causes a reaction to a medicine I'm taking." Doesn't have to be true or accurate--just enough to satisfy their passing curiosity.

If their response suggests a genuine interest in you, then ask them how much they want to know. That's the test of the relationship!

There is an old cartoon character who is asked, "How are you?" He responds, "Do you want to know or is this a social question?"

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by George_J on Feb 10^th, 2008, 9:52am

Easy decision for me. It's an inevitable trigger when I'm in cycle--I'd rather smack my big toe with a 3 pound hammer.

Most of the people I know well know that I don't drink at all when I'm in a cycle, so I don't usually have to explain it anymore.

YMMV.

All the best,

George

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by monty on Feb 10^th, 2008, 9:54am

on 02/10/08 at 09:38:37, Bob_Johnson wrote:

Good advice! Will save people lots of time and energy.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by AussieBrian on Feb 10^th, 2008, 9:56am

Tell 'em to shove it, Lebowski. A man says 'no' to a beer and that should be the end of the subject. No explanation required.

If it makes you feel any better I'm drinking your share for you. Just let me know when it's time for pay-back and we'll simply take it from there.

You'll find I'm a man of my word.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by brewcrew on Feb 10^th, 2008, 9:58am

For a number of reasons (not the least of which is this beast), I've opted not to drink anymore. I may change my mind at some point, but not yet.

When I'm in a social situation where there is the least bit of pressure to "have just one," I simply look the other person directly in the eye, and in a very calm but authoritative voice, say "I can't." The key is the eye contact. Own the situation and it's usually not a problem.

Sometimes I have to repeat myself.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by chewy on Feb 10^th, 2008, 10:03am

Either "I'm on medication" or " I'm alergic to alcohol" work well.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by maryo on Feb 10^th, 2008, 10:18am

I can see this is a guy thread. My female perspective -- you shouldn't have to defend your choice. Maybe just tell them you joined them for their great company.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by brewcrew on Feb 10^th, 2008, 10:32am

on 02/10/08 at 10:18:19, maryo wrote:

I can see this is a guy thread.

What?

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by sandie99 on Feb 10^th, 2008, 12:51pm

I don't drink alcohol simply, because I know that it will triggger shadows as soon as I've swallowed and a hit soon after. The devil visits me often enough, so I do not want to risk it; alcohol isn't worth it.

Sanna

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by Stinger on Feb 10^th, 2008, 1:48pm

I'm so slow, it took me years to figure beer triggered a bad one. I would just walk away from the BBQ or whatever for an hour and come back and drink more. Now that I finally know, I don't drink during my cycle.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by ronan76 on Feb 10^th, 2008, 2:37pm

interesting thread... and i will definetly use that reply in future...
this month i got sick of explaining myself and you are right most people aren't interested..cause they have their own problems..if they are they will ask ..

Anywho.. last weekend 2nd/3rd feb i felt the beast was gone..3 days without and attack.. on recollection it was too soon to booze but anyway i did that weekend..
Although i didn't get an attack i was shadowy monday and tues..last week and feeling about 80%... I blame the beer and myself for being stupid :-/ !!!

anyway this weekend i just stayed away from it even though i'd gone 10 days without an attack... i just wanted to be sure it was over and not temp him back....
From my experience although beer didn't bring on a direct hit.. it didn't help and made me feel like sh1t for a day or two after..

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by otakuhouse on Feb 10^th, 2008, 3:32pm

this is not just a guy thing. i find more often than not that it's women who are let down by my inability to drink and will prod and ask repeatedly why not. the sad thing however is that if you tell someone merely that you can't drink they instantly deduce most of the time that you are an alcoholic. or mormon (please forgive me mormons, just a joke).

Bob's response seems to be the best - i've used it myself.

i cut out drinking due to fear of cluster headaches for several years. but then two neurologists told me that drinking alcohol will not cause a cycle, it's just something one should stay clear away from in cycle. i guess it's different for everyone but i've found that i can drink on occassion. life's short.

it's an interesting conundrum though. i always say that the pain is one thing, the sense of isolation and guilt is the other part of this condition. just feeling some solidarity in recognizing that particular social situation here...

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by brewcrew on Feb 10^th, 2008, 6:26pm

on 02/10/08 at 15:32:14, otakuhouse wrote:

the sad thing however is that if you tell someone merely that you can't drink they instantly deduce most of the time that you are an alcoholic. or mormon.

Sad for them, perhaps. In that it's their deal and their problem. No need to make it yours.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by Lebowski on Feb 10^th, 2008, 8:05pm

Thanks for the replies and the advice guys. I still had a fantastic time chatting it up with them. Plus I made it home at a reasonable time!

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by starlight on Feb 10^th, 2008, 9:17pm

Whoever has a problem with it, think of it this way, they're the ones who will be waking up with a hangover--not you!!! One way to look at it--always makes me feel better.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by outofcommission on Feb 10^th, 2008, 11:43pm

on 02/10/08 at 08:24:54, Lebowski wrote:

The typical 'Oh I had a migraine once' and 'My Aunt gets migraines'
Oh well, I should be out of my cycle soon. Right before the summertime cookouts.

ya my friends used to give me the old i can relate migraine speech too until the say me during a screamer. then they said "man my aunt aint never had no sh#t like that before. needless to say they didn't give me any static about drinking a beer anymore. they also know when i'm not in cycle, i'm the one pushing them to have a beer.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by outofcommission on Feb 10^th, 2008, 11:57pm

on 02/10/08 at 09:56:04, AussieBrian wrote:

Tell 'em to shove it, Lebowski. A man says 'no' to a beer and that should be the end of the subject. No explanation required

thats some good advice. i tell them beer is a trigger for me. if they don't understand then piss on 'em. usually the guy who would give static is the same kind of twerp that would give me static for crackin' one open at 9 in the morning. also keep this in mind. it's your head not theres. hope your cycle ends soon lebowski.

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by BarbaraD on Feb 11^th, 2008, 10:38am

Ya know, all my life (even before CH) I've either opted to take a drink or NOT - my choice. I don't OWE anyone any explanation - yes, I'll have a beer or NO THANKS.

Those of you who've been around me (at conventions and other times) know, I drink when I want and don't when I don't want. What's the problem? You don't have to explain yourself to anyone about taking a drink.

If you feel really out of place NOT drinking go mix you a "mixed drink" - put some 7-up in a glass and pretend it's vodka and 7 - who's to know the difference (I've done that at business dinners a LOT as well as straight orange juice - never give the other guy an UP on you in business). Virgin Mary's are always good too (I love the celery and olives - keeps up the old strength).

But never apologize for NOT taking a drink. And you don't owe anyone any explanation. It's YOUR choice NOT to take one.

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by sandie99 on Feb 11^th, 2008, 11:31am

Because I don't drink, those who do not know me make assumptions about why and ask for explenation. Timo's former boss decided to ask directly if I have "bun in the oven". ::)

At this day and age one shouldn't have to explain why she isn't drinking - and for a woman, the are a lot more reasons than just pregnancy.

Sanna

Title: Re: Couldnt do it
Post by seasonalboomer on Feb 11^th, 2008, 11:36am

Most of the people I drink with know my story. All I gotta do is point to my head and say, "I've got my bad brain thing goin' right now." They get it. Several have seen me get hit and they now say, "Whoa dude, that's too bad, bummer."

Life is easy with communication.

Scott