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        Cluster Headache Help and Support >> Cluster Headache Specific >> Straight Forwardness
        
(Message started by: pieface_49 on Mar 25^th, 2007, 1:22pm)

Title: Straight Forwardness
Post by pieface_49 on Mar 25^th, 2007, 1:22pm

Is straight forwardness a trait of CH? Sometimes being so honest it is detrimental to myself. I have become so not afraid to say what I think. On Friday I posed some answers to a question we were being asked at work. The question was "How can this company save $200 million dollars this year?". I replied we should consider the salaries of upper level management. In particular the CEO who made $5 million last year with a 20% increase in pay over the previous year. Someone please give me a gun, I want to commit career suicide. I suspect tomorrow I may not have a job, be recommended for my position, receive a phone call from the CEO or receive prank phone calls from my collegues. Perhaps my post will be removed and nothing will be said? Does anyone have this trait which most will consider detrimental to ones self?

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by Superpain on Mar 25^th, 2007, 4:04pm

Yeah, I'm like that sometimes... But it doesn't have anything to do with CH.
Sounds like you say things which cause you to have alot of anxiety. Something I can identify with...
Gotta learn to shut up and think before you speak. And then sometimes it's better to not speak anyway. ;)

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by JeffB on Mar 25^th, 2007, 8:10pm

My CH causes me to flash nuns whenever I see them. ;;D

My guess would be you don't think before you speak.

You can't erase the spoken word!

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by chrisw on Mar 25^th, 2007, 10:13pm

I always do that crap too. I say what I am thinking even though it is the wrong thing to say. I never say anything to purposely hurt someones feelings but I say the wrong things if I am nervous, and if someone gets me pissed, i cant not say whats on my mind.
p.s. my 16 yr old son hates this trait of mine.
now I can blame it on CH. he cant get annoyed anymore, because its not my fault. alll riigghhtt. :-X
chrisw

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by Rosybabe on Mar 25^th, 2007, 10:44pm

;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D

they asked...you answered...

that is what they get for asking!!!

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by Superpain on Mar 26^th, 2007, 5:24pm

I'm just an honest, straght shooting person. I say what I feel and it gets me in trouble alot. Plus I guess the way I speak sounds mean to alot of people. I'm usually unaware of it and I certainly don't intend to sound mean, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it. It sucks...

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by pieface_49 on Mar 26^th, 2007, 9:08pm

I still have my job and only one person looked at me funny when they said "Hi". They did not have to say anything, I could tell from the smile on their face "you goofy sob". Tomorrow may be another story. I have a penchant for pissing people off. My boss and I were talking about it today and he said I should have been more subtle. I told him in no uncertain words "I do not care what you think". We have worked together for 11 years and he knew I meant what I said.
I really believe my bluntness is due in part to CH. Especially when I am in the midst of an episode. I really do not care what someone thinks as long as I believe it is true. Seldom do I say anything that will hurt someone and if I do, I apologize.

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by pieface_49 on Mar 27^th, 2007, 8:44pm

I apologized to my boss today and told him I treasure what his thoughts and wisdom.

This is sorta funny. No one has replied to my post where I work concerning upper level management salaries. Everyone I work with thinks like I do (they are waaaayyyyy overpaid), yet no one will comment on my post. I replied myself today and apologized for the way I worded the post. It was definitely in poor taste.

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by BarbaraD on Mar 28^th, 2007, 9:03am

Ya know, my old Daddy told me (when I was VERY young) "It's just as bad to think something as it is to say it." So all my life I've just gone ahead and "said" it. Of course my dear sainted Mother always told me I should learn some tact, but hohum... I listened to dear old Dad.....

But through the years (and I'm REALLY over 29) I've always told the truth (as I saw it) and no one has ever had to wonder where I stood on anything or how I felt. If they disagreed with me, that was their option (to be wrong ;) ) and if they got upset - well, sorry Charlie! A lot of times people have taken things out of contex and made a big deal out of nothing - I never lost any sleep over that -- they were just being silly. Both my parents taught me not to worry about what "other" people thought and that lesson I learned well.

Little story: A few years ago the Mayor of our town heard that I said something (that I didn't say BTW) and got really pissed off at me. Now he didn't bother to call and ASK me if I said it - just got his panties in a wad. This was a guy I'd gone to school with and we were very close friends. Even had a picture of him in my office. Wellll, he said some "bad" things about me that people were nice enough to come tell me about. I just let 'em talk and politely said, "He'll get over it." No one could believe I didn't even take down his picture or get upset. But sure nuff, about a year later he called me one day and told me he was wrong and that he loved me. I just smiled and said, "does this mean I don't have to beat the devil out of you now?" He laughed and told me sometimes it just took a lot to get things thru his thick head. Moral - he spent a year being upset - I didn't.

But I can't blame any of this on CH -- just my upbringing.

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by seasonalboomer on Mar 28^th, 2007, 9:43am

Some people use straightforwardness as a badge, or an excuse, to not find a tactful, or thoughtful way of saying something.

If you harbor resentments about how much the CEO is being paid and do not figure out how to resolve this resentment and continue working your job it will bubble out in situations like this.

Coming to peace with resentments and accepting those things you can't change will allow you to look at the world from not only your own viewpoint but others and craft answers that allow others to exist as well.

Either that or start your own company.

scott

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by JeffB on Mar 28^th, 2007, 10:57am

on 03/27/07 at 20:44:36, pieface_49 wrote:

You sure do worry about what other people think more than your own opinion on a lot of stuff. Don't worry about others opinion until you learn to value your own, brother. Opinions are like A$$ holes, everybody has one and they usually stink.

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by ClusterChuck on Mar 28^th, 2007, 11:54am

on 03/28/07 at 10:57:46, JeffB wrote:

they usually stink.

HEY!!! My shit (or not a very nice person) don't stink!!!

Chuck

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by kayarr on Mar 29^th, 2007, 8:56am

on 03/28/07 at 09:43:11, seasonalboomer wrote:

Do you run around in monks robes? (Ohhmmmmmmm) ;)

All you can control is yourself and your own attitude. I have found if something bugs me that much I need to try and fix it or if that is not possible I need to either change my mind about it or remove myself from the situation. In the end it really is all about me;)

MO

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by pieface_49 on Mar 30^th, 2007, 8:17pm

It is not a resentment at all. Why let someone live in my mind rent free? This is funny. I originally thought the CEO would make $5,000,000 this year. Nooooooooo, he got a 120% or so raise this year. So, pay for this year was a pitiful $9,500,000. To me, this is ludicrous. On the other hand, I also know I had the same opportunities the CEO has had. I revere the CEO's intelligence. I did many years ago. Before they were CEO, I knew they were going to be. Also know it is a matter of economics and they might go elsewhere if not receiving their pay.

What does any of that have to do with CH? I don't much give a rats butt when I am in cycle about saying what I think. I am less assertive when I am not in cycle. A lot less. Something happens chemically in my body and what it is I don't know.

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by Lobster on Mar 31^st, 2007, 5:10pm

on 03/25/07 at 13:22:25, pieface_49 wrote:

Does anyone have this trait which most will consider detrimental to ones self?

Yep. Severely.
Ever wonder why 98% of people you run into are thin skinned? Same here.

Title: Re: Straight Forwardness
Post by Brewcrew on Mar 31^st, 2007, 5:58pm

It takes cojones to tell the emperor that he's not wearing any clothes. I did that once, when I first started at my company. 19 years later and I'm still there. The ladder climbers change often enough that I've been okay. Some people call it a CLM - career limiting move. I don't know - I've never wanted to go into management anyhow, so I'm not too concerned about it. I like my staff puke job, and I still get regular raises.

I still like the face I see in the mirror (minus some of the wrinkles and the grey hair) - not sure the stuffed shirts can say that about themselves.