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        Cluster Headache Help and Support >> Cluster Headache Specific >> Can getting angry bring on attack?
        
(Message started by: CynthiaB on Nov 21st, 2006, 7:31pm)
Title: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by CynthiaB on Nov 21st, 2006, 7:31pm
I thought this cycle was winding down, but I'm not sure now.

I've been arguing with husband since this afternoon. Stupid stuff, really. No, I didn't unload the dishwasher yet. Yes, my prescriptions are on the kitchen table.

Now I'm having short duration  (15 minutes)intense clusters, less than an hour apart. I never have them that close together.  Is this from getting red in the face mad? I don't know that I can refrain from ever getting mad.


P.S. My prescriptions are still on the table. And I would have unloaded those dishes straight to the damn floor. After bouncing off his head.
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by chewy on Nov 21st, 2006, 7:57pm
Anger and frustration will trigger me every single time.
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by CynthiaB on Nov 21st, 2006, 8:15pm
We both have zero patience left. I want to pinch his head off and eat it praying mantis style, but I would like for that act to occur in its proper course.

In other words, I want to have my 'cake' and eat it too. We are both just miserable. It's a frustrating thing. People with cancer have something to get angry at, and lots of community support. Headaches get real old, real quick.

This is nothing new to y'all. I'm just bored and lonely. Of my two friends, one is at work and I've already talked to the other. I'm not speaking to the clusterf*cker.

Thank y'all for being so supportive. Gotta go...need to find some more stuff to pile on the kitchen table.  LOL
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Charlotte on Nov 21st, 2006, 9:32pm
Hopefully, this is the end of your cycle.  I get these kind of back to back hits at the end of my mini-cycles.

Hang in there.  I can't give you any tips on how to deal with the anger as I haven't found a way to avoid it.  You did good not beaning him on the head.  I'm proud of you.

Charlotte
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by BB on Nov 21st, 2006, 10:32pm

I found that my husband gets angry and upset very quickly and easily while he is in cycle. I try to avoid saying things that may upset him. Both of us have learnt to walk away to avoid blowing up, sometimes one even has to leave the house for a while to cool down. It doesnt seem to trigger a hit for him though.

Once you feel a bit more settled, it maybe a good idea to discuss with your husband on a strategy to use to avoid getting mad at each other, walking away and slow deep breathing usually work well.

Painfree wishes and a big hug. Its tough to keep cool while in pain.

Annette
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Sean_C on Nov 21st, 2006, 10:42pm
Whats for supper LOL ;;D J/K

Sean................................. ;;D
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Jonny on Nov 21st, 2006, 10:47pm
What?....no sex tonight?.....Bitch!!!! ;;D

Your poor husband.....LOL
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by CynthiaB on Nov 21st, 2006, 11:15pm
Are you kidding? I have no problem with angry sex. I see it as another kind of medication. And there's no copay. But he has to be 'in the mood'. Whatever. Makes me sick.

He's worse than two women. I'm not trying to offend any women out there, of which I am one...but I'm sure that someone will take offense to that.

I don't take offense to being called bitch, either. I have usurped that moniker. I love it. LOVE IT. Maybe it's because I'm a short person, but it just makes me feel something I can't describe. For that old retired cop to call me a bitch makes me feel like I've finally got my own badge.

Back to the clusterf*cker. After 21 years of marriage, I still don't understand how our roles got so reversed. It does not bother me if the towels stay in the dryer overnight. I'm sure it doesn't bother the towels, nor the dryer. Why does it disturb him so deeply that he feels the need to share it with me?

BTW, center -cut pork chops oven roasted in an iron skillet with carrots and onions. It was a quiet, yet tasty meal. The only sound was the occasional whimper of a chihuahua groveling for a morsel. We'll make up before the night's over. Whether he wants to or not.  heeheeheeheeheehee
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Giovanni on Nov 22nd, 2006, 5:50am
Cynthia,

Gee you sound like quite the character  ;;D

Why porkchops.............need to cook some crawdads.  ;) I'm fortunate in that my wife puts up with my mood swings and negative outlook during my cycles.  Hard to think of house duties when you're being whacked. Generally, I feel unmotivated, pissed off during these episodes especially after the first month or so.

Right now I'm on the downswing of these things and hopefully my mood will become better.

Hang around---We need your humor  :o

John--(that has been to New Orleans a thousand time during college days)
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by BarbaraD on Nov 22nd, 2006, 6:10am
Stuff him and put him in the oven for Thanksgiving....
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 22nd, 2006, 9:40am
cynthia--------- i know how you feel.. when i am in a cycle i am a huge prick.... and my wife seems to look for things to piss me off...... and yes stress leads to more hits.......
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Lafinwolff on Nov 22nd, 2006, 2:43pm
I am currently running for "Queen Bitch of the Universe!"

If another woman calls you a Bitch, you have something she wants...

If a man calls you a Bitch, he's intimidated by you!
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Guiseppi on Nov 22nd, 2006, 2:50pm
If another woman calls you a Bitch, you have something she wants...

If a man calls you a Bitch, he's intimidated by you!



My wife will love this! Anger brings em on for me too, it's the whole stress thing. And if you're going to eat his head "Praying Mantis" style it requires copulating first, I saw that on the nature channel, fair is fair after all. ;;D

Guiseppi
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Sean_C on Nov 22nd, 2006, 11:29pm

on 11/21/06 at 23:15:24, CynthiaB wrote:
Are you kidding? I have no problem with angry sex. I see it as another kind of medication. And there's no copay. But he has to be 'in the mood'. Whatever. Makes me sick.


Does he say things like "why don't we ever just cuddle anymore" and that kinda stuff ??  ;;D
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by chewy on Nov 22nd, 2006, 11:32pm

Quote:
If a man calls you a Bitch, he's intimidated by you!


Not always.

If I call you a bitch its only because I think your a bitch. Then I go fishing.
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Linda_Howell on Nov 23rd, 2006, 12:39am

  I have read this thread twice now.

    I am at a loss for words.  shaking my head and wondering if I caught Helens Laryngitis.


O.K. 2 things.  my ex would call and I would get hit almost immediately.  Stress?

BobG...never rest.  always stay stressed. never relax.

 
  This beast is never the same twice.   ::)


 
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by georgej on Nov 23rd, 2006, 12:56am

on 11/21/06 at 20:15:00, CynthiaB wrote:
We both have zero patience left. I want to pinch his head off and eat it praying mantis style, but I would like for that act to occur in its proper course.


I sure hope you stick around.  I think I'm becoming a fan.  
;)

And no, I'm not angling for pics.

Best,

George
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 28th, 2006, 7:15am
i got into a argument w/ my wife last night...... she said i was a negative person.... the glass is half empty... because she wants to move to another house and i had some questions..........got hit 3x last and once this morning........................................... bitch
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by CynthiaB on Nov 28th, 2006, 10:45am
I'm sorry y'all are fighting and you're hurting. I think I've learned my lesson and so has hubby.

I knew I had to put a stop to it so I gave him a choice. Do you want to be the murder or the suicide?

He wanted to be the suicide. Well, I'm blonde, but I'm not stupid. Never give up your weapon!!!We started laughing. It was a good ice breaker. We had a long talk, and things have been much better since then.

TIP:  this is not a good ice breaker if you actually have a gun, are not blonde, and aren't naked in bed.
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by B14CK5H33P on Nov 28th, 2006, 11:12am
I was told by a doc that stress is not a trigger or a contributing factor to CH.

However, I have learned that stress is a MAJOR counterpart to my CH, and that doc didn't know shit from Shine-ola!

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f359/Mack420Danger/Cornholio.gif
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 28th, 2006, 11:13am
well she is blond............ naked in bed wont help when she sleeps on the couch every night.......... my gun ?? never
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Margi on Nov 28th, 2006, 11:50am
Dave, sounds like your wife REALLY could benefit from talking to other supporters.  I'm sure most of us have been at the place she's at now and could help her understand that what she's feeling is totally normal for a cluster supporter.  It's not easy being a supporter and sometimes our helplessness makes us say and do things we regret later.  Please feel free to offer her my email address if she'd like to talk off the board.  moxie_miss@hotmail.com.  I've talked to hundreds of supporters over the years and, trust me, we all do walk the same path.  

And....please don't call her a bitch, ok?  It's hard.  For both of you. :-/
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 28th, 2006, 12:07pm
margi-------- i told her about this site the day i found it... i told her she should take a look at it........ that never happened........ i printed out some verry usefull things.... after they sat on the counter for a few days she read them......... she thinks its just a headache and i bring them on myself.... i should get over it........ she dosent get it........ and dosent want to get it
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Margi on Nov 28th, 2006, 12:18pm
keep trying, Dave....

here's some more stuff you can print out for her, ok?  I wrote this a few years ago for supporters who weren't understanding what their loved ones were going through or how they could help.  Some people just don't know where to start, so they emotionally shut down.  Maybe this stuff will strike a chord with her?  

http://www.clusterheadaches.ca/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=100

and this:

http://www.clusterheadaches.ca/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=103

This is text from our OUCH Canada home page.  Our site is about to come down, so maybe print this out for her today?  Don't give up on her... and please do offer her my email addy (not the clusterheadaches.ca, it's about to become extinct - use moxie_miss@hotmail.com).

Anyway, I honestly hope this helps you, Dave - her support IS crucial to your survival - sometimes supporters don't realize that.


"It's difficult for others to imagine (or believe) the intensity of different types of head pain because we can't “see“ a headache.  However, any cluster headache sufferer or supporter will tell you different.  This IS visible pain.  Cluster Headache is said to be the worst imaginable pain known - more intense than limb amputation without anaesthetic or natural childbirth.  Centered around one eye, cluster pain is one-sided and, during an attack, causes the affected eye to tear, the sinus to fill, and sometimes the eyelid will droop.  (The picture above is one of our sufferers who generously volunteered her picture for the website.  Thank you, Gayle!  Her husband, Len, took this shot just as she was coming out of an attack.)  Here is a close-up of this picture (may take a moment to load):
http://www.clusterheadaches.ca/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=97

Cluster headache is a very rare affliction, quite often misdiagnosed and affecting less than 1% of the world's population. Most of our sufferers here have gone years being misdiagnosed to have sinus infection, migraine or tension headaches - simply because cluster IS so rare.   It is believed that cluster is caused by a misformed hypothalmus, deep within the brain.  The hypothalmus is responsible for controlling sleep patterns, body temperature, circadian rhythm, mood, etc.  Most cluster sufferers react differently to all these things, compared to non-sufferers.  To date, there is no  cure for cluster and it has often been referred to as “suicide headache“.  Cluster pain is devastating and life altering for everyone involved.  It can not kill you, but it can definitely rob you of your life.  

We, here at O.U.C.H. Canada, are a group sufferers and supporters who intimately understand what it means to be a “clusterhead“.  We are not medical professionals. This website is written as a labour of love and dedicated to those affected by this horrible condition.  It is our sincere wish that this website will further cluster headache education and lead our research professionals to someday find a cure.  

On this website, you will find a great deal of information that will hopefully help you to deal effectively with clusters. There is material available for you to print out and discuss with your doctor, your family and your employer. We have an interactive message board and chat room where you can share your story and meet other sufferers. We often find that understanding support is vital to our own survival.  "
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by vietvet2tours on Nov 28th, 2006, 12:37pm

on 11/28/06 at 12:07:34, dave..... wrote:
margi-------- i told her about this site the day i found it... i told her she should take a look at it........ that never happened........ i printed out some verry usefull things.... after they sat on the counter for a few days she read them......... she thinks its just a headache and i bring them on myself.... i should get over it........ she dosent get it........ and dosent want to get it
                                            Maybe she's just tired of yer whinin.
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 28th, 2006, 12:45pm
ok ill print them ................ thank you
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by Margi on Nov 28th, 2006, 12:51pm
good to hear, Dave.  Let us know how it goes, ok?

Oh and Cynthia - remember that the B word can also be an acronym.

Babe
In
Total
Control of
Herself

;)
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by CynthiaB on Nov 28th, 2006, 12:53pm
I don't know if he's whining or not. Don't really care. I figure my job's to support him, not her. She's got her own board, if she cares to use it.  He's told her about it.....sounds like she's the big baby.

When one of the people in the relationship has CH, is like having 3 people in the relationship. So she can close her eyes to it, or sit in the corner and watch. But everybody knows that you miss out on a lot doing that. (Never understood those people that like to sit and watch. Jump in and help out!!)
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by B14CK5H33P on Nov 28th, 2006, 1:55pm
The thing is, a supporter or someone close to a clusterhead can go through 3 different stages:

The first is concern. That comes with the beasts first attacks, the first few cycles, the first year chronic, etc...

After awhile they reach the second stage - helplessness. Watching a loved one go through agony with no way to help.

Third stage... things drag on and Annoyance sets in, where a supporter or loved one is frustrated with the whole situation and is ready to give up. This of course only frustrates a clusterhead more: "I'm dying over here and you could give two shits less!"



The only other place to go from there is Understanding. Getting your supporter or loved one to log on here and read can help with that part.

As Elvis Costello might've sang... every Clusterhead needs peace, love and UNDERSTANDING. Without the latter, the annoyance just grows.

Peace,
Carl D
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 28th, 2006, 2:07pm
i would say she is in the 3rd stage....... no doubt about it.........
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by davyp on Nov 28th, 2006, 2:32pm

on 11/28/06 at 13:55:44, B14CK5H33P wrote:
The first is concern. That comes with the beasts first attacks, the first few cycles, the first year chronic, etc...

After awhile they reach the second stage - helplessness. Watching a loved one go through agony with no way to help.

Third stage... things drag on and Annoyance sets in, where a supporter or loved one is frustrated with the whole situation and is ready to give up. This of course only frustrates a clusterhead more: "I'm dying over here and you could give two shits less!"

Stage four... Separation or murder when that final little dig sends you careering over the edge for the last time and you either walk away or you rip her still beating heart from her chest with your bare hands
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 28th, 2006, 2:36pm
hmmm stage 4 sounds interesting....... i never was good at walking away.... or shutting up when she tells me to....... hmmm ;;D ;;D ;;D
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by LeLimey on Nov 28th, 2006, 2:36pm
Dape, call me now and I'll call you back, I can't find my mobile and its turned itself off so I haven't got your number.
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by taraann on Nov 28th, 2006, 8:52pm

Quote:
Can getting angry bring on attack?

YES

Crying........Yes
Laughing too hard........YES
Life..........YES
:'(
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by taraann on Nov 28th, 2006, 8:53pm

on 11/28/06 at 12:51:40, Margi wrote:
good to hear, Dave.  Let us know how it goes, ok?

Oh and Cynthia - remember that the B word can also be an acronym.

Babe
In
Total
Control of
Herself

;)

I always say (with pride) I am not a bitch I am THE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by LadyElaine1 on Nov 29th, 2006, 7:21am
I didn't read anything but the first post, but I think clusters trigger anger. I think that the pain is coming on and making us feel bad, but yet we have not been hit with the full pain yet kind of like a shadow but not there yet, and that brings on anger. What do we do we get touchey about everything and blow up easy. It just happens we blow just before we get hit.
Thats what I think!
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by dave..... on Nov 29th, 2006, 7:33am
good theory elane
Title: Re: Can getting angry bring on attack?
Post by ax on Dec 8th, 2006, 5:56pm
Oh boy am I blessed.
 My wife loves me so much, that after 12 years she won't ever let me go without saying I love you - Phone, leaving for work, even when were fighting.
 Sometimes shes been late for work because she couldn't find me to say I love you befeore she left.
 When I'm in a cycle she stays away. So much that I miss her. When I'm not in pain --(between hits) I ask for a hug and she always starts crying.
 She keeps everything as perfect as possible when I'm in a cycle.
 We also have meetings with the kids so they know what to do, what not to do, and understand that I love them.
 


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