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        Cluster Headache Help and Support >> Cluster Headache Specific >> Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
        
(Message started by: Mattrf on Jul 21^st, 2006, 11:42am)

Title: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Mattrf on Jul 21^st, 2006, 11:42am

Well I thought I was doing better, the new meds my doctor put me on for my S.U.N.C.T seemed to be helping, instead of constantly being at like a kip 5 or worse I was having like a 3 or4 in the morning and at night but was PF during most of the day. I was feeling so much better getting a daily brake from the pain, I went on vacation last week water skiing and only had one bad day, but this past Wednesday I woke up at a 4 and it went to about a 6 and stayed there all day and yester day the same but by noon I felt like I had been run over by a truck and was quickly heading towards a kip 7 so I went home and by 6:00 I was banging my head against a door frame scarring the crap out of my kids.
Today looks no better, I am at a kip 7 right now sitting at my desk with the lights out, my boss just came in and said she understood and to do what ever I needed to do, dam I am glad I work with doctors that understand and care, I am blessed with this job but still worry about missing to much work so I push through it as much as I can, today I have to be here they are cutting power at 6:00 and I have to bring my servers down before they cut power and make sure everyone saves there work and shut down the PC’s for the weekend. Ok, I know I am rambling but I am trying to keep my mind off of the hammer and ice pick hitting my eye right now.
Just feeling depressed since I was doing so much better and now seem to be heading back to how it was before and I see the doctor on Monday and I know he is going to try and talk me into seeing the guy in Scottsdale at the male clinic that will want to poke around in my brain, the wife and I have already decided that that is not going to happen, I have heard to many bad things from people on the board about surgery and do not want to take the chance of having the bad side effects only to get the headaches back.
Ok, ok I am done rambling now, thanks for listening to me, don’t know what I would do without this board and can’t thank DJ enough for starting it. DJ I thing you are my hero and I bet most of the people here think the same way about you, if I was the pope I would make you a saint.

Matt

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Mattrf on Jul 21^st, 2006, 12:40pm

I am even more screwed, my doctor called in a script for my pain meds before I went on vacation and it was supposed to have two refills since he is on vacation this week and he wanted me to have enough to get me through till I see him when he gets back. Well when I picked up the first one it said one refill, so I called him and they said they would call the pharmacy and correct it, well I just called in the refill and they did not fix it and his office is closed. I called the on-call doctor but you know how they are with pain meds if they are not your doctor and the guy is only in for two hours on Fridays, there is no way with how bad the pain is right now that I will make it until Monday with what I have left, I am so screwed unless the headaches mellow out again or I get a call from the doctor and he refills the pain meds for me..

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by jenrob2006 on Jul 22^nd, 2006, 1:44pm

I am so sorry you are feeling so crappy. I have been like that for the past three days only getting a combined 2 hours of sleep. :'( Keep your head up! You WILL get through it.

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Mattrf on Jul 24^th, 2006, 11:41am

I survived the weekend, I was in bed most of it, I ran out of pain pills on Saturday (kept a couple for today so I could work) it was hell for me and we are having a heat wave, at least for us, it was 108 in the shade on Saturday. I came into work today and it was probably 85 in my office, I work for a research center at Stanford University and when it gets hot all the cold water for the cooling systems gets pumped to the clinics and the hospital so we suffer. I hope they send us all home since it is only 8:00 AM and I am already sweating. Sure glad I saved a couple pain pills or I would be beating my head against a wall right now. This sucks I was doing better on the new meds, I would get a light one in the morning a 3 or 4 and then another around 3:00 PM but the middle of the day would be pain free, but on Wednesday I got bad again and it has not let up.

On top of this my wife and I had a big Fight Friday night, when we were on our vacation week before last she was hurting and started taking my pain meds without asking and she took 20 pills, so I was pissed especially when she said she only took 7 and I told her it was a new bottle of 60 and I had been taking from my old bottle and had not touched the new bottle. I blamed her for me going two days with no pain meds. I have told her repeatedly that the pain meds are the only thing that keeps me sane and I have already felt suicidal and if I had to deal with this pain with no help I could not guarantee that I would not hurt myself but she took them any way.
I told her I was unbelievably pissed and hurt by her actions and that she only thinks of herself and she is very self centered and that that shit had to stop.
My wife is a redhead so you can imagine how pissed she go at me, funny thing is she has been very nice to me since she cooled off, I think she knows down deep that I am right she just hates to hear it and can’t stand being wrong or not having control of every thing.
I may get pissed at her but I still love her with all my hart and think she is a great wife and mother.

Matt

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by JeffB on Jul 24^th, 2006, 7:07pm

Hang in there brother, I know you hurt but just hang in there.

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Mattrf on Jul 25^th, 2006, 12:34pm

Thanks Jeff, I am doing much better now and am having some PF time. Not enough but some is better then none by far. ;;D

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by kevinpix on Jul 25^th, 2006, 12:51pm

You don't want to take a chance? Chance is ALL we have. Life is a game of chance. The odds are against us to begin with. I knew the odds with surgery, but the odds were higher that I'd kill myself out of misery. We take chances daily, some more dangerous than others. Why not give yourself a "chance" to be painfree? I still get clusters, just don't feel it. Will never be cured, though. kev.

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Mattrf on Jul 25^th, 2006, 1:30pm

Good wisdom Kev.
Well I just got off the phone with the Mayo clinic and it is a bit of a wait so I have time to think about it. They have to get pre-authorization from my insurance and once they get that they give the doctor my information and copies of my medical information from my doctor and he will decide if he wants to take my case and if he does then I get on a waiting list that has 15 people on it today just to get an appointment and they are booked three months out right now. She said if he takes a high interest in my case he will get me in sooner, glad I am not dying. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Matt

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Charlotte on Aug 1^st, 2006, 10:59pm

How is your wife doing?

Charlotte

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Mattrf on Aug 2^nd, 2006, 2:27pm

My wife is doing as well as she can with a bum shoulder and back, we make a hell of a couple. The bright side is we both understand and are each others biggest supporters and considering we have only been married for less then four years to survive what we have been through and I can still count our fights on one hand is very impressive. I love her very much and would not trade her for anything. The new meds seem to have lost there effect and I am back to being in pain all dam day, I am scared that at some point I may be considering surgery as an option, I need this to stop I am tired of wondering why I am being punished, was I a bad person in a previous life, I have been a good person in this one, as long as you don’t count my teenage years that is. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Matt

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by LeLimey on Aug 2^nd, 2006, 2:56pm

Hang in there Matt, together you WILL get through this :)
We're all rooting for you here too nd wishing you pain free with all we have
Helen

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by BB on Aug 3^rd, 2006, 7:36pm

Hello

As my husband has just been diagnosed with his first cluster, I am trying to find out all information I can about the condition.

May I ask what sort of pain killers do you take and do you take it regularly everyday or only when an attack hits?

Thank you very much

Annette

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by hbomb on Aug 3^rd, 2006, 7:45pm

Hi BB,
Sorry to hear about your hubby. Without delay you need to get him on an Oxygen RX.
HBomb

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by BB on Aug 3^rd, 2006, 7:51pm

Thank you HBom

Yes we have ordered the oxygen tank which would be here today . Fingers crossed it will work.

He had a particular bad day yesterday with 6 attacks, up from 2-3 as of 5 days ago. He now has a constant KIP 3-4 and would go straight to KIP9 9-10 with an attack within 5-10 mins. Thats why I am wondering if a regular strong pain killer would help?

Annette

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by Mattrf on Aug 4^th, 2006, 11:23am

Annette I sent you an email instead of re-hashing my condition on the board again since most already know it. You should get your husband on the board it could do him a world of good to talk to people that truly understand his pain.

Mattrf

Title: Re: Feel like I have been run over by a truck.
Post by BB on Aug 4^th, 2006, 7:27pm

Thanks Matt,

My husband is aware of the forum but he is not ready to go on here, as yet. As this is the first cluster and he has only been diagnosed few days ago he is in denial, I think.

He has an immense dislike of doctors and hospital to start with. He hates going to do any test eg CT scan and loathe the trip to the neurologist.

Annette