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        Cluster Headache Help and Support >> Cluster Headache Specific >> Sounding Board
        
(Message started by: Cendie on May 2^nd, 2006, 4:16pm)

Title: Sounding Board
Post by Cendie on May 2^nd, 2006, 4:16pm

I haven't been to this board in three years. It hit early this time, it wasn't supposed to happen until summer. I know I am lucky, because it's every three years. If this were chronic, I would have blown my f'n brains out a long time ago. I don't know how some of you do it. Hats off to you. One of the few comforts I have in the midst of this hell is fantasizing about ending the pain.

Life stops, the people that come over to bring me food, ask me, is there anything else I can bring you, my answer.. a hammer... I try to explain to people, I have these really bad headaches, and they sympathize with.. oh my friend/relative/etc has headaches... I wish they'd just shut up, they don't know.. nobody knows... unless they've felt it, lived it, watched their life end, become completely dependent on the charity of other people.

I try to hold on to the fact this will end, then I'll have another three years of my life, but when I'm frantic, shaking, swaying, pacing, pulling my hair, banging my fist against my head, or my head against the wall, it's hard to think positive, it's hard to breathe, it's hard to calm myself down, it's hard, it's just so f'n hard. When it's over it's hard not to feel sorry for myself.

Just needed to get that off my chest. Just glad that someone who knows will read it. Thanks.

Title: Re: Sounding Board
Post by Karla on May 2^nd, 2006, 4:35pm

I am so sorry that you are going through a rough time of it right now. I hope you find relief in such things as oxygen, imitrex, zomig, axert, relpax, and find a preventative that works good for you long term. lots of people have sucess with verapamil(up to 960mg/day) and/or lithium(900mg/day). I hope you find something on this site that can get you some relief. Are your ha at night or during the day. Mine are during the day. Many that have them at night take 9-12mg of melatonin and get some decent sleep that way. I will pray that you find something that helps.

Title: Re: Sounding Board
Post by Cendie on May 2^nd, 2006, 5:02pm

I started on Cafergot, it was a miracle for 5 days, I was able to function. Then it stopped working so now I'm doing 3 on 3 off, with cafergot and triptans. My doctor has been very kind with painkillers, they don't help for the attacks themselves, they do help for the residual pain.

Today I had the worst attack yet. I woke up, took a 10mg Maxalt MLT as a preventative, it hit about 20 mins later, about an hour after that i took another, i know you arent supposed to do that, but I didn't care, I took 2 fioricet a little while later, after about 2 hours after onset, i finally fell asleep. I woke up to a phone call and a lot of residual pain in my face, and feeling sorry for myself, took a couple vicodin, and here I am.

Thank you for your concern, it means so much that someone out there understands.