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Title: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 15th, 2006, 10:55am My wife is putting a lot of pressure on me about something that I had never heard before, she calls it 'Mental Control', and says this is something that should allows us to avoid the pain via some kind of discipline or technique. I have been safe till now with answers like: 'to achive what you suggest I should first have a mind...'. Have you ever heard anything like this before?. What is this?. Thanks in advance. |
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Title: I'd start by saying.. Post by Richr8 on Jan 15th, 2006, 11:32am it's easy for someone to say who has never had a CH. Good luck? Also, I think it is what is I use every day while in cycle to keep from killing myself. Rich |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Jonny on Jan 15th, 2006, 11:46am Ask your wife if you can smash a frying pan into her head, if she says no tell her to leave you and your pain alone. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by BarbaraD on Jan 15th, 2006, 1:29pm They tried that at the Houston Headache Clinic and I told them a few heated things...... I'm with Jonny on this one - until someone goes thru it..... I do try to FOCUS on something - anything to get my mind off the pain, but I don't think you can block it out - Mental Control might work on some types of pain, but not this type..... Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Karla on Jan 15th, 2006, 5:17pm I have tried biofeedback which consists of focusing on something and deep breathing and getting into a relaxed state. It did nothing for my clusters. I agree with Jonny. Tell your wife to back off until she walks in your shoes. Don't waste your time on that and try oxygen, imitrix, verapamil or predisone or lithium or something that is apt to be more helpful. Good luck! |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 15th, 2006, 6:29pm Thanks a lot to all of you. I've already smashed a frying pan into her head ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Kevin_M on Jan 15th, 2006, 6:57pm on 01/15/06 at 18:29:41, Chonas wrote:
Well, if she was to ever get diarrhea, just tell her to use mental control. Juuuuuuust takes discipline and technique and she should avoid any messes. ;) |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by crazydog on Jan 15th, 2006, 8:02pm LOL! You all had me rolling out of my chair with your responses and if you want to talk about mental control. Maybe she could try holding an oxygen mask on her face with one hand, while toting an oxygen bottling behind her with other hand and run down the street at 2:30am in the morning with eyes mostly closed with what feels like someone jabbing a red hot poker in your eye without hitting any cars or falling down for 20 minutes, its not easy, especially making corners without tipping oxygen bottle. Hehe! |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by burnt-toast on Jan 15th, 2006, 8:17pm Tell the wife that I've used mental control to deal with a broken arm and even a broken leg, but CH is way out of the range of mental control. Once CH takes over the best you can hope to do is survive the pain and not beat your own brains out attempting to make it go away. Sorry, but Mrs. Chonas obviously doesn't comprehend the repetitive, intense/unearthly pain associated with CH. Tom |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 15th, 2006, 9:01pm Dear fellows, I've asked my wife to read all these msgs, she recognizes (I'm not so sure about this...) that she has a big mouth and from now on she'll stop bothering her clusterhead husband. Now she also wants to know if Tarot would be of any help... [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by BarbaraD on Jan 16th, 2006, 7:25am Maybe you hit her too hard with the frying pan.... ;;D Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Beastfodder on Jan 16th, 2006, 7:49am on 01/15/06 at 21:01:18, Chonas wrote:
Depends on the accuracy of the Tarot reading - 'I see a large frying pan travelling towards your forehead' could be a popular reading. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 16th, 2006, 8:24am People find very difficult to understand or imagine, how much pain we have to experience, as well as its intensity or the amount of time of each cycle, if we add to this that a chronic condition is also out there, then it becomes almost impossible to explain. I've tried to explain it a couple of times, but people looked at me as if I had risen from the grave. This place, this webpage, this forum, YOU PEOPLE are the only family that can understand what we're talking about and you're always ready to help. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by chewy on Jan 16th, 2006, 8:33am Tarot wont help. A Ouji Board might though. Depends on how hard you smack her with it. Ouji Board Tip: When smacking your wife in the kisser, keep the board folded in two. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Bob_Johnson on Jan 16th, 2006, 9:15am I have not seen any mental health literature which suggests that these approaches could alter the mechanisms causing cluster. It is possible--a well research approach is available--to reduce the emotional distress which many folks develop in response to cluste. While we cannot reduce the pain it is possible to reduce the suffering (this being the emotional response to the physical pain). The material I have is too long to post here but, if you are interested, send me you e-mail address and I'll send it to you. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by floridian on Jan 16th, 2006, 9:15am Tarot Cards? Ask her if she goes to a psychic when she gets a toothache, or a dentist. If she broke her arm, would she go to a surgeon to x-ray it a make a cast, or would she ask Madam Ruby to swing a pendulum over it. The mind can have some influence on some clusters - I found that since changing jobs and having a more regular sleep schedule, the CH cycles are less severe. I also developed my mental strength to avoid getting hot in the summer, which means less triggering. Visualize Air Conditioning in your concious and subconcious mind... and Make it So! |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by seasonalboomer on Jan 16th, 2006, 9:17am Your wife needn't feel too bad about the advice. For those outside of our own heads it seems as though it should be something that can be controlled. Spending the time to educate her about the physiological components involved with these things can yield great results. My wife, after I shared much of the information gleaned from this site, had a greatly enhanced respect for not only what we go through but also is far more appreciative of the times when I am a "trooper" and make efforts to minimize the impact that CH has on our lives. And far more appreciative of efforts made to try new things to combat the beast. My wife used to think their was mental component to it, that if I talked about them, or got around my Dad (also a sufferer) that if I got a cycle around anything like that she would attribute it to some kind of psychosomatic thing. SHE DOESN'T DO THAT ANYMORE. All without the aid of any cast iron skillets. Good luck. Scott |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by imnotbub on Jan 16th, 2006, 10:36am My wife still thinks I'm exagerating. She gets the occasional migraine and thinks I don't know what pain is. If only SHE knew. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Guiseppi on Jan 16th, 2006, 11:31am My wife is a great supporter, but it took a lot of education. (I will be printing out all of these responses and will insist she reads them. She used to be quite liberal with her advice to me!) She was actully the one who found this site for me as she is far more computer literate then I! After working through the board she has become the queen of CH supporters. Wives ar like our doctors and our co-workers, it'a always a matter of educating. Guiseppi |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Margi on Jan 16th, 2006, 12:02pm Thanks, Guiseppi and Scott, for some positive words about supporters. This thread just makes me sad. Unbelievable that, after all these years, it's still an "us against them" 'tude around here. :-/ Chonas, maybe your wife is just trying to HELP you... maybe she's talking about trying to calm down during attacks. My hubby says it's the hardest work he's ever done is to teach himself to stay calm and just breathe through his attacks. But it has helped him immensely. Maybe that's what your wife is talking about? We KNOW we can't feel your pain, sufferers. Do you ever stop to think how hard that is for US? And how hard it is for us that we can't stop your pain? Don't you think we WOULD take your pain if we could? |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by chewy on Jan 16th, 2006, 12:08pm Quote:
I knew that. Know how I knew? Ouiji Board. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 16th, 2006, 12:13pm Hi Margi, I'm absolutely sure that my wife is trying to help me, I never said she wasn't trying to help me or thought so, I've only asked a couple of things here that she suggested me, and about which I had no idea, now I have a better knowledge how these things may apply. She's also read most of these msgs and she now has a better understanding. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by seasonalboomer on Jan 16th, 2006, 12:37pm on 01/16/06 at 12:02:46, Margi wrote:
Well, then here's your semi-"your welcome" for the semi-"thank you" Margi..... scott |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Margi on Jan 16th, 2006, 12:41pm I'm sorry, Scott, your post WAS really nice about your wife. I retract the word 'semi'. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by nani on Jan 16th, 2006, 12:55pm That was nice, Scott. WTG This thread was troubling, it sounded like a cheer squad for spousal abuse for a bit. Now, that said: I would make a crappy supporter. I have little patience for drama queens and wimps. (and frankly, unless you've had a CH, the whole "routine" looks a bit dramatic from the outside) If my poor hubby was the one with CH, well, I'm pretty sure he'd be saying some not nice about me to you. He's an amazing supporter, I'm very lucky. We're not all as good as he and some of the amazing supporters who post on this board. I'm not, anyway. So, you work with what you have, and move forward... |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 16th, 2006, 1:09pm I don't get it... what are we talking about now...???, wife abuse...?, a squad of what?. What is the idea behind all these concepts?. My wife is my wife, should I also feel guilty because I'm a clusterhead and she happened to be there when it happened?. I don't get it. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by chewy on Jan 16th, 2006, 1:10pm Quote:
Gimmee a break. Quote:
uhhh? |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by nani on Jan 16th, 2006, 1:34pm on 01/15/06 at 11:46:05, Jonny wrote:
on 01/15/06 at 18:29:41, Chonas wrote:
on 01/16/06 at 08:33:17, chewy wrote:
on 01/16/06 at 13:10:44, chewy wrote:
Hey...first of all, I never said I wasn't a drama queen... I just don't have any patience for other ones... ...and secondly: read the above quotes. Looks like a cheerleading squad (that's what I meant, Chonas) for smacking his wife with various objects to me. ::) |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by LeLimey on Jan 16th, 2006, 1:38pm There is a fine line between the words sufferer and supporter. Who decides who is suffering? I can tell you now there is no pain like seeing your child get hit.. and I do know. I have cluster headaches and a child with them. I've seen many other clusterheads getting hit. As have many other people here and we all know how terrible we felt being the "helpless" one. Chonas your wife is trying to help as I know you know. It may not be the most tactful way possible.. God only knows what a pig's ear I'd make of trying to be "tactful and caring!!" We've all had the "Why don't you try not eating chocolate/taking aspirin?" advice and we all know how infuriating it is. I for one try to remember (and I don't always succeed!!) that these people care and they are trying to help, its not their fault they are misguided any more than it's mine I am suffering. We'll get there together, a little education on the way and a bit of gratitude and they'll be that much wiser for (god forbid) the next clusterhead they see. Good luck to you and your wife. Its a hard road but I hope you can travel together to understanding and beating this. Helen |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by chewy on Jan 16th, 2006, 1:45pm I'll tell ya what. If you clout your wife with the Ouji board I hope she drop kicks ya right in the nut. How's that for equality! |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by BarbaraD on Jan 16th, 2006, 4:14pm Come on guys -- I think most of the remarks about whacking or abusing a spouse was meant as a joke (and we do tend to joke around here), but we all know our supporters are VERY important and they are TRYING to help. We're a bunch of selfish A-holes when we're in pain and are not very tactful about our pain. No one except someone ELSE with CH can UNDERSTAND the extent of OUR pain and that's just a fact. Some of us have lived with it so long that we just tend to ignore others when they try to help with things we know will not and don't let it get to us (or make jokes about it). The first time I ever saw another CHer get hit, my first reaction was to jump right in and try to help. Luckily, I didn't touch Kip, but only asked if I could do anything. He was very polite when he told me to F*** off (Kip is a very polite man). So (my point being) sometimes even another CHer doesn't make a good supporter either. Now Chonas, go get that board out and see if you should what your wife or not [smiley=huh.gif] [smiley=huh.gif] ;;D Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 16th, 2006, 5:28pm Whatever you say Ladies it's Ok for me, and I'll take it for granted, I don't fully understand it, but anyway I'll try to proceed accordingly. I ended up so confused that I'm not sure what goes first... the Tarot or Mental Control. :-/ |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by kcopelin on Jan 16th, 2006, 6:15pm Clusterheadaches suck for every single person involved...the sufferer, the supported the family the co-workers, the friends. And yeah, we are A1 not a very nice persons sometimes. Not proud of it either. My husband thought, for years, that I was exaggerating, until he saw how I acted when I broke three toes and a rib. Like nothing much happened. Cause it didn't come close to CH pain. Tell ya what, next time your wife has an ice cream headache-or brain freeze-tell her to imagine that level of pain for 90 minutes. But you know what, she obviously either loves you or you're very wealthy because she's still there in spite of what she has read here. PFDAN kathy |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by chewy on Jan 16th, 2006, 6:29pm She obviously has thicker skin than some responding here. So did she drop kick ya yet? |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by Chonas on Jan 16th, 2006, 6:30pm Thanks for your msg Kathy, I thank to all of you Ladies. Sometimes I get a bit confussed when this item women-men, men-women and if we're a bunch of 'machos' and all that stuff gets involved, I mean during the conversation I felt like I was in a pub having a beer with some of my colleages and suddenly my wife arrived and began to tell me whatever it is that she always tells me. I do appreciate your kind observations and some advice you gave me. By the way, I'm extremely happy that my CH cycle is OVER!, it happened a couple of days ago and of course I've posted a brief msg. |
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Title: Re: Mental Control Post by AussieBrian on Jan 16th, 2006, 10:58pm I'm lucky in that I only have CH. I've never cut it as a supporter. |
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