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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006-2007 Getting to Know Ya Posts >> So Tired
        
(Message started by: thanksdad on Sep 20^th, 2007, 6:39pm)

Title: So Tired
Post by thanksdad on Sep 20^th, 2007, 6:39pm

It gets like this after a while. This is the first time I have have been in a state of nearly constant headache. Usually I can count on one real good one and then some relief. Its been months now and I seem to stay at about a 4 or 5 in and out. I am just trying to continue living.

Nothing works. I look like a 33 year old stroke victim. My speach gets slurred... anyone else? I am depressed and so sick of this. My poor husband thinks I have a brain tumor.

When I joined, a few months ago I was so mad at my dad because I got these from him. Now I look back at his life and realize what he was dealing with. I know it seems shallow but I am a beautiful woman and I would hate to age as quickly as he did.

I have gained weight and I am miserable. I cant work out and I eat when I am depressed. I cant read good books any more and I just skim through the paper.

I have dreams of getting my right eye shot out. At least I am not alone. I have had ch for about 7 years. I thought I was strong and got used to them but I was just pain free for a while. This is the longest I have had them and it scares me.

thanks for being here all. I think this is my first post and I just needed to vent.

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by Rosybabe on Sep 20^th, 2007, 7:39pm

Welcome aboard!!!

sorry to hear you have to deal with Ch but you are in the right place...

you can vent all you want...we can deal with it ;)

what are you taking? tell us a little about your meds, etc...

Wishing you lots and lots of pain free time!

Rosy.

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by DennisM1045 on Sep 20^th, 2007, 9:27pm

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you are getting hit like this. It is very difficult when we think we are coping the beast morphs. I too got my CH from my Dad. It's not common but it does happen. Sorry for our shared bad luck too.

Anyway, give an idea of what you have been using and we'll see if we can't get you sorted out and beautiful again.

Welcome.

-Dennis-

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by scootman on Sep 20^th, 2007, 10:33pm

I feel really badly for you and at the same time understand how you feel. Funnily enough, I sometimes tease my wife and tell her that I have a brain tumor. I know it's not something to joke about but if we can't laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at?

I hope that there is some way you can find some relief. Having one for that amount of time can really wear a person down, I know, I have been there and am getting there now even though I have only been in this cycle since Saturday. I am pretty miserable right now but not in a terrible amount of pain, just a terrible nagging that won't go away.

I sometimes go for days without eating which I imagine a lot of people do when in a lot of pain and that can affect how you feel and look. Even if you can't eat try taking vitamins and make sure you stay hydrated enough. These few things can help you get through this. I will be praying for you.

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by SamR on Sep 20^th, 2007, 11:22pm

You don't have to grow old quickly, unless you let these headaches own you.

Think of this situation as your opportunity to greatly appreciate your life and the love around you.

You can develop character and great strength from these horrible headaches, but it must be done by accepting them. The more you make them the enemy, the weaker it makes you. Don't be a victim! Own these bastards and you will laugh at other challenges in life you once feared.

I know this sounds hoaky, but it's all true. Writing this helps me remember to stay focused. Read Pema Chodron. Own the beast...

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by Saffy on Sep 21^st, 2007, 5:11am

Oh dear I recognise myself and some of my own feelings in your letter and my heart goes out to you.

You have come to the right place here, I have found people who care and even sometimes have the answers I need they are a lovely lot and understand what you are going through better than anyone else can.

I too have found myself putting on weight when it is really bad because I am too tired to do much and then having a few "better weeks" and fighting to lose it but I have recently realised I have become yo yo dieter and thats no good either is it!

Hope things improve for you soon.

Saffy :)

P.S. My speech slurs when I have a bad one too.

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by assaultme on Sep 21^st, 2007, 7:55pm

Thanksdad...if you are eating because of depression, that is something that is common for many people. I cannot help with the depression, but I can help with the over-eating problem in a few ways. If you need any help with that, feel free to p.m. me.

Regards, Dave

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by Jonny on Sep 21^st, 2007, 8:23pm

on 09/20/07 at 23:22:55, SamR wrote:

I know this sounds hoaky, but it's all true.

No dude, its the damn straight forward truth!

Im living proof, 31 years chronic and they then they just went away.......I didnt last this long by giving in!

I lasted this long by fighting and learning how to manage the pain......it can be done if I did it!

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by thanksdad on Sep 22^nd, 2007, 12:49pm

on 09/21/07 at 19:55:53, assaultme wrote:

hey dave! i havent figured out how to do that :P

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by michael on Sep 22^nd, 2007, 4:39pm

Hi thanksdad.

Click on the persons name that you want to pm.

When their details come up, scroll down and click on `Send this person a private message'

PF wishes

Mike

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by Sometimes on Sep 22^nd, 2007, 8:17pm

Hi thanksdad,

I totally understand the hopeless feeling you get with these things. I really want to suggest you seeking help for the depression that goes along with clusters. There are medications that can help, good antidepressants. I wouldn't want to see you do something drastic when getting help with the depression can then help give you some ammo in dealing with the beast.

Are you seeing a neuro? If not, get in to see one as soon as possible. You can check out the cluster sufferer recommended doctors here: http://www.ouch-us.org/chgeneral/doctors.htm

Good luck & happier days ahead for you...

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by thanksdad on Sep 22^nd, 2007, 10:20pm

You are all so great. I just started topomax the day before yesterday. I am using it with imitrex. Today my gp gave me a shot of morpine to try and break the cycle. yesterday it was a shot of something else that was non-narcotic. I do take thyroid meds and celexa for the depression. Its a whole hell of a mess if you ask me and I am tired of it. How do you all feel about dhe? my dad swears by it. I am a mom, wife, and commercial property manager. Holding it all together gets so tough when I am in a chronic cycle. I believe its so bad because of our weird weather patterns here in california right now. Also, I tried again to quit smoking, everytime I try I get a few months under my belt and then bam the worst ch ever!

thanks to all of you, sheila

Title: Re: So Tired
Post by George_J on Sep 23^rd, 2007, 12:55pm

on 09/21/07 at 20:23:46, Jonny wrote:

I'm not a chronic--but I'm an episodic for better than 40 years now.

Jonny's point about learning to manage the pain is important. It's key to living with this thing. Think of it this way--CH is not an affliction that attacks you from outside, like a communicable disease, it's simply a part of what you are. Most people don't have this battle to fight, but you do. That's simply the way it is.

There is probably no way to root out the cause of your attacks--that is most likely a structural anomaly that cannot be changed. It exists, that's all.

So--what will you do about it? It's up to you. You can give up in despair, or you can fight back.

Doctors can help with the symptoms to some extent, but to the best of my knowledge, they can't make it go away. Finding a good physician as your ally in your personal battle with the beast is important. Learning all you can about the condition and taking responsibility for your own treatment will help even more. And finally, when you learn to minimize the effects that an attack has on you, you will cease to become a "victim" of CH.

You're a clusterhead. You didn't choose it--it chose you. You can't change that. What you can change is the way you react to an attack or a cycle. That's the difference between a victim and a warrior. In fact, when your pain is juxtaposed against your painfree times, it can make all the rest of it seem more intense, more vivid, and sweeter than it would otherwise be.

One hit at a time, one cycle at a time. When it's over, it's over.

Get hit--live anyway.

My very best wishes to you,

George