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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> The Silence of the Elves
        
(Message started by: George_J on Nov 4^th, 2007, 10:11pm)

Title: The Silence of the Elves
Post by George_J on Nov 4^th, 2007, 10:11pm

Retail Hell has started in earnest this holiday season, and the stores are fully stocked with singing wreaths, break-dancing reindeer, yodeling teddy bears, and other annoying electronic devices that make all sorts of festive noise.

I don't know about you, but I hate those things.

I've decided to make it my business to disable them whenever possible, in order to make my shopping experience more agreeable. Not disable in any permanent way, you understand--a shopper swinging a tire iron tends to draw some attention--but just to quiet them down until someone figures out what's wrong.

For example, I find that the devices activated by a motion detector can be effectively silenced by a small bit of sponge inserted into the electric eye. For the objects activated by sound, the same sponge inserted into the gizmo quiets them right down. Removing the batteries and putting them in backwards works as well.

Disabling these abominations is actually quite easy. You can pick them up and examine them at leisure, and no one will say anything. This allows sufficient time to cripple the device, and no one the wiser.

If you are so inclined, I wish you would join me in this effort--or quest, if you will. A bit more "silent night" and a little less "jingle bells" in the stores will help to make the season brighter.

Thank you.

Best,

George

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Linda_Howell on Nov 4^th, 2007, 10:21pm

You're retired, aren't you George?

I do agree with you though. Christmas has become a marketing stragedy, not what it is supposed to be.

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Annette on Nov 4^th, 2007, 10:43pm

LOL George, I now know exactly what to send you as a Christmas present ! ;;D

By the way, would you have any trick to silence our dog's squeeky toys? There is no battery to remove and no where to insert little pieces of sponge :(

Daniel gave our puppy this HUGE fluffy duck for her birthday and it doesnt just squeek, it HONKED ! Twice it scared the midnight moonlight out of me as I was staggering around the house at night in search of the toilet ! I need your expert help here ...

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by LeLimey on Nov 5^th, 2007, 4:35am

Oh sheesh thats easy! You get the said toy, you allow the dog into the room while Daniel is asleep and you honk it right in his bloody ear and drop it.

He wakes up, he sees the dog, he sees the toy.
He puts two and two together and he never shops for another noisy doggie toy again!

Works beautifully and the bonus is you'll giggle for days knowing that revenge is a dish best eaten cold!

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by aloneuk on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:14am

now thats a plan !! count me in.... i hate them things >:(

and in november ffs!

I'm with you on this one george

ike

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Shedz on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:30am

Anti Xmas alert, as thousands of Elves go on silent protest across the UK and US ;;D
Millions of children are left wondering where the spirit of xmas has gone as ALL adults smugly enjoy the silence ;;D!!!!!!!!!

Paul ;;D

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by LeLimey on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:40am

Yeah well - you can't shut ME up! ;;D

*Singing* "Grandma got run over by a reindeeeeerrrr..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPaGQEskSKM

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Shedz on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:42am

LA LA LA LA LA , can't hear you ;;D

"singing" Hey Santa, wheres my f***ing bike!
Kevin Bloody Wilson ;;D

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by LeLimey on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:46am

Jus for you Shedzie Wedzie!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75rwh9DTDJk

WARNING: NOT WORK FRIENDLY!!!

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by LeLimey on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:47am

Kevin Bloody Wilson and vegemite - God I love Australia ;;D

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:49am

It used to be that the day after Thanksgiving the retail Christmas season started. I had to go to a CVS Pharmacy last evening and the entire store ( which is huge ) was decked out in Christmas ! I find this ridiculous. There was a point and time when Christmas shopping on a saturday night was fun--now it is lunacy with wreaths on the street lights in my town by Halloween.

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Shedz on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:53am

Cheers Helen, that song always makes me LMMFAO [smiley=laugh.gif]
Vegemite AAArrrrgghh, same as marmite, Devils jism ;;D

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by aloneuk on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:56am

on 11/05/07 at 05:46:04, LeLimey wrote:

Jus for you Shedzie Wedzie!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75rwh9DTDJk

WARNING: NOT WORK FRIENDLY!!!

love it !! lmmfao

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by aloneuk on Nov 5^th, 2007, 5:58am

on 11/05/07 at 05:53:42, Shedz wrote:

Vegemite AAArrrrgghh, same as marmite, Devils jism ;;D

lmmfao couldn't agree more!

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by LeLimey on Nov 5^th, 2007, 6:02am

Scott there were Christmas cards for sale here in September - how wrong is that?? It really does take all the fun out of it and as for all the adverts for toys on TV... grrrrr!

Easter eggs went on sale on Christmas eve last year too. ::)

I don't know - I don't think we should be as worried about Global Warming and seasons being out of sync. We have a far bigger problem in Global Shopping HUMPH!

And you two little boys?! Marmite and Vegemite are yumptious so there :P

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Shedz on Nov 5^th, 2007, 6:04am

BLACK STICKY POISON I'M TELLIN YA ::) ;;D

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Nov 5^th, 2007, 6:12am

Easter eggs went on sale on Christmas eve last year too.
Helen---Have they forgotten Valentine's Day ! They normally start selling that stuff January 2nd !!!

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by LeLimey on Nov 5^th, 2007, 6:22am

Retailers are now trapped in a web of their own making but the trouble is - we're the flies!

At the end of the day, you have the same amount of money to spend on Christmas for instance whether you start shopping in Sept or Dec. You have a budget and thats that.

Retailers get so possessed with getting every scrap of your money rather than one of their competitors that they open longer and longer hours so that now shops are even open on Christmas Day in case you forgot anything ::) FFS its a day for family - DO WITHOUT!

Their costs go up and up, wages, electricity etc and who pays? US.

Remember years ago when shops closed for lunch? When they closed on wednesday afternoons and were only open half day saturdays? When they NEVER opened on public holidays?

People got all their shopping done then didn't they?!

It's just plain ridiculous now, People go to a DIY store on a Sunday instead of taking the kids to the park or sitting down to a meal tgether. Nothing is special anymore, its all just spend, spend, spend and we've lost a huge part of ourselves, we've lost values and we're paying for it.

My answer?

Don't shop on sundays. Don't buy into it. Buy Christmas presents nearer Christmas. If we don't get sucked in then they'll have to rethink but shopping for this years must have present at 2am or in October isn't really and truly bringing joy to our kids. It's just teaching them that money buys anything they want.

An hour spent playing monopoly will be remembered far longer.

Well that's my thoughts anyway!

Helen

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Wayne on Nov 5^th, 2007, 6:42am

on 11/05/07 at 06:22:23, LeLimey wrote:

Remember years ago when shops closed for lunch? When they closed on wednesday afternoons and were only open half day saturdays? When they NEVER opened on public holidays?

People got all their shopping done then didn't they?!

It's just plain ridiculous now, People go to a DIY store on a Sunday instead of taking the kids to the park or sitting down to a meal tgether. Nothing is special anymore, its all just spend, spend, spend and we've lost a huge part of ourselves, we've lost values and we're paying for it.

Couldn't agree with you more Helen! But there now seems to be a perception that trawling the mall is somehow fun!!

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by aloneuk on Nov 5^th, 2007, 7:04am

on 11/05/07 at 06:22:23, LeLimey wrote:

bloody spot on !

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Nov 5^th, 2007, 7:09am

Very well said Helen !!! I agree ----now tell me where I can send you the David Beckham doll in his LA Galaxy uniform.

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Redd on Nov 5^th, 2007, 7:47am

Although I can agree with the "way too early" sentiment, I can accurately explain why retailers started in with the Christmas sales and displays just after Labor day. It's economy driven. Least here in the States.

The reasons are 2 fold.

1) The economy is very volitile right now with the failing housing/mortgage markets and foreclosures as well as the ever increasing toy recalls from China. In order to make up their losses, they have started the season early in hopes that consumers will continue to spendregularly while the displays are up. It's working.. People will complain about the earlyness of the sales and displays while at the same time they are purchasing the same items they are complaining about.

2) Fule prices are at an all time high, and retailers know that many consumers will not be taking those shopping trips out of town as before and want to cash in on this fact. Much of the revenue that has been spent on trips to the larger city malls, and outlet centers will stay local. The cost of fule counteracts the savings of the items.

Working in retail advertising, I've seen a huge increase of marketing orders for the Holidays in insert circulars for not only the Big Box retailers, but the local stores as well. One of my customers is competing with this slump by nearly trippleing her investment over the November period and for the first time in 5 years is inserting a circular into the Thanksgiving day paper. The largest read newspaper of the year, as well as the Saturday after turkey day. She is also running 2 in paper adverts this month instead of one.

Next month she will run both before and after Xmas sales to draw the quarter to a close, she hopes with a 4% YOY increase in sales.

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by aloneuk on Nov 5^th, 2007, 7:51am

on 11/05/07 at 06:02:47, LeLimey wrote:

And you two little boys?! Marmite and Vegemite are yumptious so there :P

lmmfao yeah ok helen ::)

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by sandie99 on Nov 5^th, 2007, 9:04am

When I was younger, I got excited about Christmas early on - already in some time in November. The last time some sort of Xmas joy occured during that time was in 2001... yes, ch changed that for me.

Last year, I hardly even noticed what time of year it was until December arrived. I've felt so much gloom and blue before it... I don't know about this year, though, who knows it might be different.

George, I saw plenty of Christmas decorations this weekend - and I was nearly gasping for air, because there is only one word to describe the ones I've seen this year so far: ugly.

But, I know that I cannot miss Christmas decoration sections at deparments stores, because we need a nice decoration to our door and it's up to me to find it.

Sanna

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Melissa on Nov 5^th, 2007, 9:37am

2 words. Online shopping. ;;D

btw: that's what I do starting in September. Then, when 95% of our shopping is done, Jesse and I take a day to ourselves to go casually strolling through the mall in Appleton, WI, stop and have a couple beers at the little brewery they have inside the mall, go to Toys R Us to get a couple things for our own kids, and then end the day at Red Lobster.

It's AWESOME!!! ...and we're going next Sunday. ;;D

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by deltadarlin on Nov 5^th, 2007, 9:41am

I have a solution to going out in all that madness. The internet and VISA [smiley=laugh.gif].

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Rosybabe on Nov 5^th, 2007, 10:24am

Mel and darlin are right, Santa has already shop in this house! [smiley=laugh.gif]\
I took advantage of the free shipping so, no need to go and fight the crowds at Toys R Us, plus you get to check prices and save money in the process.

I will only have to go and fight for my food and the spirits but they behave better in there than in the toy store ;;D...

and for all the noise in the stores...yeah they make a hell of a party in there :-/

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by sandie99 on Nov 5^th, 2007, 10:53am

Hmm, I haven't even begun to think of all the gifts yet! (I've known to begin that process in July...) Crap... I do know one thing I'm going to get mum and one friend is always easy, but Timo & the rest... not so simple! :-X

Me & my friends have given each other short lists with few "wishes" and then the other 4 decide who gets what so the friend in question doesn't get too many of one particular thing. We don't list anything extravagant, but the sort of little things we need and want and for some reason never got around getting ourselves. :)

Sanna

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Tiannia on Nov 5^th, 2007, 1:15pm

When my daughter was 2 1/2, my mother gave her a bear that sang the macarena song. After about 3 days of listening to it, I explained to my daughter that he bear got really sick last night and had to have an emergency battery-ectomy. At 10 she now knows that anything that her grandparents giver her that plays something excessovly, that she plays with it in her room withthe room closed because if not, it will have emergency surgery or be dismembered and thrown away.

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by Charlie on Nov 5^th, 2007, 8:47pm

It was Halloween in Jamestown at Rite Aid Drugs in late July. It's been Christmas there since September.

When I was younger, Christmas shopping began in New York City on the Friday after Thanksgiving...just like the Miracle On 34th St. movie at Macys. They really were the good old days. Now, Wal Mart, the merchant of death, has made real shopping as exciting as buying snow tires.

I too like some peace and quiet while shopping. It's not just the inane animated and noisy Christmas toys but I have no idea why K-Mart thinks ear-splitting "music" while looking for Duct Tape has entertainment value. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/white funny rage.gif

Nice idea about silencing the toys. I'll do my best. Remember the "Fraiser" episode with the Ho Ho Santa?

Peace on earth.

Charlie

Title: Re: The Silence of the Elves
Post by assaultme on Nov 5^th, 2007, 8:58pm

I dunno, I guess they are trying to make a buck before the other guy gets it.

But if I gotta hear that "dogs barking Jingle Bells" one more time.....I will bash my (work) radio speaker with a sheet metal hammer or ball peen...which ever is most handy. [smiley=laugh.gif]