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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT! UPDATE
        
(Message started by: luveemom on Sep 21^st, 2007, 8:20am)

Title: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT! UPDATE
Post by luveemom on Sep 21^st, 2007, 8:20am

My mother finally kicked the SOB out of her house three weeks ago and as predicted he was right back in prison on drug charges within days......I got her hooked up with this great addiction therapist guy who told her absolutely NO CONTACT with him, as he started to call her from the prison right away asking for HIS f-ing money....LOL......he lived with her and she took his check every week.....did he think all the grocerys and the bills got paid by a f-ing fairy godmother?? We figured without money to bond out, and with all his priors he wasn't getting out anytime soon....WRONG! My mom was over my house on wed night for my sons birthday, and left at around 8pm.....she gets home and walks into her house and one light is on, and who is sitting there waiting for her? My brother......how did he get in? Broke in of course.....climbed in a window....piece of f-ing shit!! Starting yelling at her about how she didn't take his calls, about how he wants HIS money back, blah f-ing blah....it's all HER fault he is a drug addict....then says the only reason I have what I do is cause I stepped in shit.......ok....I haven't worked my WHOLE f-ing life......It was all handed to me on a f-ing silver platter......tells her and yea alicia gets her drugs from a doctor!! She says.....your sister is sick.......ok....now I am a drug addict too!! Yea....I am gettin wasted on topamax and o2...anyone wanna join me?????I am sooo f-ing pissed off right now........I have never wished the pain of CH on anyone.....always said I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.....well I take that back today......I wish a kip10 on him right now! I am shaking I am so angry. I am also scared......I am now scared thinking he is so f-ing out of his mind that he may come to my house and try to rob me too.....he made my mom go to ATM and take out $300....she then dropped him off in front of YMCA.....I told her she is f-ing crazy.....he will shoot that shit up his arm in a day and be back for more.....she won't call cops.....whatever....I hate him....when he dies I will spit in his grave.....sorry if that sounds horrible....but it is how I really feel.....I have had it...I'm done

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by phil_h on Sep 21^st, 2007, 8:41am

Sorry for your pain....... Sometimes worse comes before better... and better doesn't always arrive..... Grieving the addict while he still lives is complicated....Pray for him, your mom and yourself---that you may all find a place of comfort... Tough love is just that.... It's tough on all involved..... Take care of your family and maintain the boundaries you have set down............. All work out according to God's plan........... I know.... your beast would kick his beast's ass 9 out of 10 falls........... As he may not truly understand the nature of your beast : you may not completely understand the nature of his beast.... Pray for him.... Stay safe and keep your guard up...... as with CH's ..vigilance is an ongoing price we pay . Wishing you peace and pfnad's , phil h

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by chewy on Sep 21^st, 2007, 9:31am

Quote:

she won't call cops.....

Then you should.

How old is mom?

Quote:

Grieving the addict while he still lives is complicated....Pray for him

Then contact the police, the counselor, and elder services if apllicable. You can pray for him while he's behind bars.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by luveemom on Sep 21^st, 2007, 9:42am

mom is 63.....if she won't press charges what good will it do?

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by chewy on Sep 21^st, 2007, 10:06am

http://www.branford-ct.gov/Social%20Services%20pdf/BranfordSocialServicesResourceGuide2006.pdf

Scroll down to DSS. There is a number there for Elder Protective Services.

Call them.

Quote:

if she won't press charges what good will it do?

Round up the troops and put enough heat on him and he''ll be leaving mom alone. The last thing an addict wants in his/her life is constant heat.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by luveemom on Sep 21^st, 2007, 10:18am

Thanks Chewy, Mom lives in Middletown Ct....I just called the therapist and he said SHE should have called PD......I asked if I could call and said sure, but I don't know if they can do anything with your complaint.....hje also said she needs to get a restraining order too.....I know all this, but I don't think I can get her to do it.....that is why I got her in the counseling to begin with........I will call Middletown police, but not sure if this will be of any help....what do you think......I am about 40 minutes away....I used to work at Branford PD and have friends there as does hubby who works for Branford FD.....kinda feeling helpless and scared for her the therapist says if and when brother comes back he may beat her up next time.... :'(

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by chewy on Sep 21^st, 2007, 10:40am

http://www.ct.gov/dss/cwp/view.asp?a=2353&q=305232

If conventional methods do not work then have your connections have a private chat with him.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 21^st, 2007, 11:41am

Quote:

he made my mom go to ATM and take out $300....

How did he do that? I mean...by force? gun or knife point? It doesn't sound to me like you can do squat to educate your Mom.

I cannot tell you though how much my heart breaks for you and WITH you.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by Rosybabe on Sep 21^st, 2007, 11:56am

Alicia, I don't have words to tell you ...the whole situation is so sad :'(...my heart goes out to you..I will be praying for you. Please stay on guard. You are right . He might come after your stuff next. Maybe putting a restriction order against him [smiley=huh.gif]. He is totally out of control.

Hugs

Rosy.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by DennisM1045 on Sep 21^st, 2007, 12:32pm

Hi Alicia,

It sounds like you are doing all you can. Elder services is a good place to start. They'll know what you can do and what you can't do. In the end it'll come down to what your Mom will allow.

I'm with Chewy, pray for him once he is behind bars. Keep your guard up.

My heart breaks for you. This is a terrible load to bear. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

-Dennis-

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by Charlie on Sep 21^st, 2007, 7:50pm

I'm with Chewy & others. This won't get better from what I read here.

Save yourself first then you can worry about him, if you think it would be worth it but you have to be around to do it.

Charlie

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT!
Post by sldrswyfe on Sep 22^nd, 2007, 12:28pm

Your outrage is justified...but to be shocked anymore? No way. It's not going to stop until HE decides it's going to stop...if ever. You have yourself and your family to care for...he's robbing your precious energy.

Easier said than done, I know. You are in my prayers.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT! UPDATE
Post by luveemom on Sep 23^rd, 2007, 1:25pm

Thank you all for your support. The police came and Mom told them that it was HIS money, she didn't feel threatened and that she did not want to press any charges....the opposite of everything I said......I have had enough at this point. I have just started to feel better now with the topamax and now I am getting 2am kip10's, and daily hits....which I know are from stress...a major trigger for me. My husband and the addiction therapist have told me that I now need to step back and disconnect from Mom as much as it is tearing me apart.....she is also an addict.....she is boozing it up, and has been a pot smoker since I was a little kid......I feel just awful she is all I ever had as dysfunctional as she is, my dad left(abusive, alcoholic) when I was 4......so I am having a hard time even though I know this is the way it has to be. I cannot have her in my life anymore if she chooses to live this way......She just continues to be angry with me and tell me she is doing the best she can as she still enables him, and doesn't help herself. Our relationship is based on lies.....It hurts too that not only do I not have her in my life, but neither will my kids....the older ones and my 6 month old.........but I know....they don't need to have her around in the condition she is in.......so this is where I am at right now.....I have been hurtin......physically with the CH's and emotionally...like someone ripped my heart out.....thank you all again for being so supportive, it means a lot to be able to share with you all.
alicia

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT! UPDATE
Post by nani on Sep 23^rd, 2007, 1:40pm

hugs to you, Alicia... [smiley=hug.gif]

Two things to try:
ACOA meetings (adult children of alcoholics) for your heart, and
Melatonin, for your nighttime head.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT! UPDATE
Post by Rosybabe on Sep 23^rd, 2007, 3:41pm

You have my prayers Alicia!! Your family is now those little ones who depend on you and your good judgment.

Hugs

Rosy.

Title: Re: SOB Drug Addict Brother.......RANT! UPDATE
Post by alienspacebabe on Sep 23^rd, 2007, 4:10pm

[smiley=hug.gif]